NSFW

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One Response to “NSFW”

  1. Jake Carson
    September 29, 2013 at 4:13 pm #

    Hello Ladies, Please Take A Few Minutes And Enjoy My True Stories About
    The Wonderful World Of Key Lime Pies As Well As The Magic Of The Most
    Beautiful And Gorgeous…“Mrs. Anita Pelaez”… Wife Extraordinaire And
    The Beauty Queen… Of The Key Lime Pie World….“Oh”, What An Honor
    That Must Be….

    Elwood Blues Here,

    “AAHHH”, Yes, May Each One Of You Enjoy Your Very Own Key Lime Pie Baked
    by The Lovely And The Most Gracious,…”Mrs. Anita Pelaez” and Her
    Handsome And Dashing Husband ….The World Famous

    Deep Sea Underwater Diver And Treasure Explorer And Hunter

    Extraordinaire “Captain Kutchie Pelaez”…Who Many Have Called The Most
    Interesting Man In The World, Others Even Have Called Him The Modern Day
    “Hemingway”…A Real Character Thats For Damn Sure!…Together The
    Proud Owners Of Asheville’s Own …”Anita And Kutchie Pelaez’s Key Lime
    Pie Factory And GRILL, Conveniently Located Near The Biltmore House And
    Estate In That Beautiful City. That’s Known As Heaven On Earth Whenever
    “Mrs. Anita Pelaez” Is Anywhere Near… “AAHHH”,.. The Magic Of Anita
    Pelaez And Her

    KEY LIME Pies… Voted The Country’s Favorite Key Lime Pies For The Past 38 Consecutive Years!

    …..That Babe Can Bake Me A Pie Anytime She Wants Too.

    And For You Guys, Listen Up Here!

    Turn You’re Ladies On In Extra High Heat Mode “Easily”, Just By Seducing
    Her With “Anita Pelaez’s”… Ultra-Sexy Key Lime Pies!..You Know The
    Pies That

    Her And Her Famous Husband Captain Kutchie Have Been Baking The For Last
    40-Years Over At Their Key Lime Pie Factory Near the Biltmore House and
    Estate In NC.,..Yeah, That’s The Ones, You Dirty Minds! (Shame On You.)

    Anita’s World Famous Key Lime Pies Will Light Her Candle And Make

    Her Hard To Handle. Guaranteed That She Will Get A-Hold Of You’re Handle
    Too….Your Boy Elwood Here Says,….”AAHHH”, The Magic Of “Mrs. Anita
    Pelaez”..And Her Key Lime Pies!

    “Yeah”, You’ll Be “AAHHH-ING” Too!…So Put Your Faith In Anita’s Magical Key Lime Pies.

    In Other Words… “Keep The Faith Baby”.

    Part-Two

    Is

    what they are all saying true about how eating those World Famous Key

    Lime Pies Baked In The Carolina Mountains By The Former Miss Florida USA
    And High Fashion And Swimsuit Model …”Mrs. Anita Pelaez”, ….Surely
    Everyone Has Heard Or Read By Now That Consuming Her Wonderful Key Lime
    Pies Has The Ability To Cause The Male Penis Length To Increase 50% Or
    More. And The Girth Of The Erect Male Penis To Increase To Six-Inches
    AROUND!….”WOW”, And Add To The Fact That Her Pies Have Been Known To
    Make Males Multiorgasmic / That’s One Orgasm One After Another With
    Little Or No Reflationary Period In Between Ejaculations Is Nothing
    Short Of Awesome!. Why, It’s A Miracle If You Ask Me.. “HELL” It’s A
    Miracle If You Don’t Ask Me!..Anyway, You Can Count Me In On That,…
    That’s For Damn Sure!,….”Mrs. Anita Pelaez” Is Surely “The Undisputed
    Queen Of Key Lime Pies”.. That’s For Sure……

    Yes, There Was A Time For Decadent Key Lime Pies. Pies made And

    Baked With Love And Caring With The Original Family Recipe Just Like
    Grand-Ma And Grand-Pa Baked Back In The 1920’S In Old Key West… And Do
    You Know What?….That Time Is Now Or Perhaps Next Week-End Or Whenever
    The Magical Mood Hits You, Just Simplie Click Your Heels Together And
    Find Your Rainbow At…..”Anita and Kutchie Pelaez’s” Key Lime Pie Factory
    And Grille’, Conveniently

    Located In Asheville, NC., Near The Biltmore House And Estate….

    Yes The First Lady Of Key Lime Pies,..”Mrs. Anita Pelaez” Named Her
    Latest Book..“For You’re Pies Only”…And Indeed They Surely Are.

    …Count Us In Darling, Sweetheart, Please Wrap-Us Up A Dozen Pies

    To-Go!…We’re Gettin The Band Back Together……………..

    Thanks,….Elwood.

    I Know That Your Not Going To Believe This When You First Read It.

    Don’t Worry, I Didn’t Believe It Either At First. My Dear Wife Insisted

    Or As She Said, That She Was Going To Cut Me Off. Now I Like My Nooky As
    Well As Anybody But When She Starts talking About Cutting Me Off. Well,

    Lets Just Make A Long Story Short, If You Want To Continue Eating At

    The (Y), Then You Had Better Listen To What Mama Is Whispering Into Your
    Ear. Get The Damn Pies, Enjoyed Them With The Little Lady And Die A
    Happy Man. End Of Story.

    People, If You Want To Have A Lot More Sex, And Who Doesn’t? Then

    You Need To Start Eating A Lot More Of Anita And Kutchie Pelaez’s World Famous Key Lime Pies!…. They Work Every Darn Time!

    …One Eyed Willie…Smooth Willie…Be Good Willie!…Elwood Blues…Darling,..Don’t Go Breaking My Heart!

    “Honey”, What’s the number to the Key Lime Pie Factory?…We’re Out Again!

    The

    World Famous Captain Kutchie Pelaez Of Key West. “Kutcharitaville”.

    Fame Was Recently Spotted Down In Old Town Key West At Sloppy Joe’s Bar
    Partying With His Old Compadres,…Captain Yankee Jack Of The Bull
    Fame,…Micheal McCloud Of Schooner’s Wharf Fame…Captain Tony
    Tarracino Of His Own Saloon Fame,…Jimmy Buffett Of Margarativille
    Fame,…Captain Teri Levi Of Lum’s Fame,…Missing Was The Late Great
    Mel Fisher….Also Missing Was The Late Great Treasure Hunter Captain
    Roger Burleson And The Late Great Roger “Moon Dog” Turner.,..The Famous
    Group Of Compadres Were Said To Be Drinking Doubles And Causing Just
    Lots Of Some Mild-Kind Of Troubles, But Nothing The Waitresses Couldn’t

    Handle. It Seems That All Of The Team Mates Were Wearing…”Captain

    Kutchie T-Shirts!…We Were Wondering Where They Might Have Gotten Those
    T-Shirts?…”HUMM” You Don’t Think It Was From…..?.?.?………

    Kinda Like Captain Kutchie Says… “I Bet You Can’t Say Happiness With Out Saying Penis”.

    I Guess No Key Lime Pie Story Would Be Complete Without Saying,

    “AAHHH”, The Magic Of Anita Pelaez And Her Key Lime Pies…

    You Know-…It’s No Wonder That She’s America’s Sweet Heart!

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