Yoni cupcakes

NSFW

Yoni cupcakes.

Yes. It’s just what it sounds like. Perfect for the Blessingway preceding your all natural breech homebirth of twins after 6 C-sections.

The picture is not suitable for work. You can click here to see it.

Beware. Once seen, it cannot be unseen.

  • Roadstergal

    Okay, I am dying here. Those would be great for a Pride party. They remind me of the giant chocolate-covered macaroon penises you can get at Hot Cookie in the Castro (complete with coconut shavings to serve as hair on the balls).

    Come to that, there is no hair on those. Isn’t shaving one of their Big Evils?

  • Amanda Stamps

    I’ve seen worse at erotic bakeries.

  • Eyerollin

    Haha okay those cupcakes are cute. Glancing at the comments here, I’m not looking at the rest of that board, though. 😛

  • Hannah

    Ugh I wish I hadn’t perused that woman’s other pinterest boards….just got me in a tizzy about the absurd things these “educated” women believe. Did anyone else stumble across this gem about birth control?

    http://www.myfemininemind.com/2012/07/things-your-doctor-may-not-have-told_25.html

    • Eddie

      I’m glad I didn’t poke around. Yeah, that is pretty annoying. Essentially, someone saying all birth control methods are damaging to women except an ancient version of the rhythm method, which is 99% successful. Riiiiiiiight. And you see, the magic semen is good for women, so women should try to avoid condoms as well.

      “But honey, it’s good for you.”

      • Hannah

        I guess I should be prescribing unprotected sex and oral sex (gotta swallow!) to my patients for their depression. Who needs big pharma and their antidepressants??

        • Eddie

          My grad school’s college newspaper once published a letter to the editor saying he had discovered the one true Biblical form of birth control, which is oral sex. This was based on the idea that the Bible said when you harvest wheat, you either use the seed to grow more wheat, or you eat the seed. I kid you not.

          Every now and then, there was a truly epic letter on the editorial page. This was one of the most epic. Going by the tone of the letter, the author clearly thought he had discovered a Deep Truth Of The Universe. Maybe the author of the blog you found read that same letter!

      • An Actual Attorney

        My snarky thought was that maybe the women who don’t use condoms during sex are happier because they are lesbians.

    • Bombshellrisa

      I didn’t look any further then the board the cupcakes were posted on. It made me nuts. What is the obsession with the red tents? I don’t think that these types grasp exactly what it meant to have to be in one.

  • Dr Kitty

    Hoping Dr T and her family are enjoying a nice Springtime Holiday, and that is why there have been no updates for the last couple of days.

  • Lisa from NY

    Where are the instructions to make them?

  • Lisa from NY

    If you’d had a C section before,
    Your uterus can rup-ture.
    If you want to kill your baby,
    Have a homebirth.
    If your baby presents face first,
    It can die without a C.
    If you want to kill your baby,
    Have a homebirth.
    If your pelvis is too small,
    It can die without a C.
    If you want to kill your baby,
    Have a homebirth.
    If your baby is too large,
    It can die without a C.
    If you want to kill your baby,
    Have a homebirth.
    If the placenta gets disrupted,
    It can die without a C.
    If you want to kill your baby,
    Have a homebirth.
    If your baby is premature,
    It can die without a C.
    If you want to kill your baby,
    Have a homebirth.
    If you test positive for strep,
    It can die without a C.
    If you want to kill your baby,
    Have a homebirth.
    If your baby is overdue…
    You don’t really want your baby, do you?

    • Karen in SC

      Powerful lyrics. Do they go with a tune we’d all know? I’m guessing “If you’re happy and you know it” but not entirely sure.

      PS. What about your 50 yr old neighbor?

      • Lisa from NY

        Thanks for the compliment. No tune, but yours is a great idea.

        My 50 yr old neighbor is full term today, 40 weeks. Her midwife visits her once a week. It drives me crazy because I don’t want to see her get hurt, but she won’t let me show her any articles because if I’m not positive, then I’m not a good friend.

        • Box of Salt

          Lisa,
          Fingers are crossed that she beats the odds

          Keep us updated.

  • SkepticalGuest

    These are hilarious. I wish I had had some at my baby shower. Anatomically “correct” cupcakes. Woohoo! Made my day.

  • Marguerita

    I happened to try out this coconut milk ice cream today called “Coconut Bliss”. Very yummy. Then I went on their website and saw this:

    “High in medium-chain triglycerides (MCTs) identical to those in human breast milk, coconut milk has similar germ fighting and heart-protective properties.”

    • Sue

      Meanwhile, coconut oil is the new health food.

      • T.

        I can’t understand how. It is very fat o.o

    • SkepticalGuest

      I don’t give a hoot about something being similar to breast milk. But I do have to say that if you can’t do dairy, coconut oil is super blissful when it comes to baking. It’s no more “fattening” than butter and almost as tasty. Not quite, but almost.

      • KarenJJ

        I imagine it’s like saying breast milk and coconut milk are high in hydrating dihydrogenmonoxide and have similar germ fighting and heart-protective properties as Bach Flower remedies…

        • Sue

          LOL Karen!

        • Eddie

          No, not dihydrogen monoxide! That’s corrosive stuff. Mix it with some salt and you’ll destroy almost any electronic device after application. Sufficient quantities can destroy almost anything people can make. Extended exposure causes skin to swell. Stay away from it!

    • auntbea

      Because everyone knows that tricylcerides are the key to antimicrobial action. That’s actually what goes into collodial silver.

      • Marguerita

        Looked it up in images. Ewww

        • Eddie

          I’m afraid to ask, but what did you look up?

          • Marguerita

            Collodial silver. It will turn you into a smurf permanently.

          • Eddie

            Oh, THAT. I thought you were talking about something like a disgusting source for a triglycerides-based supplement that people were taking. 🙂 Yeah, it’s not smart to take colloidal silver, yet there are still people saying the “smurf” pictures are faked by the medical industrial complex.

  • It reminds me of Judy Chicago’s “The Dinner Party.”

  • WhatPaleBlueDot

    I actually kind of love them. But not the ones with… addenda. I’m kinda into cunt art of late. I have no idea why.

  • Dr Kitty

    Totally OT:Eurovision tonight, in Sweden this year, and the Finnish entry is apparently a pro Gay marriage song which ends with a lesbian kiss.

    I shall be watching with a nice Australian red and my sense of humour. If you can, try and catch it, because, if nothing else, it’ll be fun.

    • KarenJJ

      Eurovision fans here too – my husband and I have been watching it for years and one of my friends hosts a Eurovision party (unfortunately we’ve moved and won’t be going this year). It’s great for a laugh. The tv channel here does a very snarky commentary. Very enjoyable (except for the painfully long-winded voting process).

      • Dr Kitty

        I’m disappointed the Romanian falsetto vampire on stilts didn’t win.

        • KarenJJ

          Ooh it doesn’t start here for another half an hour. Must.not.google.winner…

          • KarenJJ

            Oh my. The Romanian entry was certainly compelling. I was fascinated by his voice. Ireland put on a good show with the drummers 😉 The winner seemed pretty tame and uncontroversial this year.

          • Dr Kitty

            Ireland are putting acts they know won’t win (can’t afford to host) but still look like they’re trying. Jedwardx2 and the Stephen Gately clone with the Lord of the Dance vibe this year were bang on for that mission statement.

            The Greek ska band in kilts with the catchy chorus (Alcohol is free!) was almost good enough to win. They need to aim lower if they want to avoid bankrupting the nation.

            For anyone who has no idea what we’re talking about, it is basically an annual pan-European (where the definition of Europe has been stretched to include Isreal, Turkey and Azerbaijan) Glee competition with all original songs and highly political voting.

            It is as bonkers as it sounds.

          • KarenJJ

            I’d heard that about Eurovision – it’s a Catch22 if you win. And also that the UK will never win because the rest of Europe will vote against them in a singing contest because they are not popular politically. Not sure if that one is true but it also doesn’t seem like they are trying to win it judging by their songs and performances over the years.

            Bonkers is a good word for it. The outfits are great fun too. Probably the highlight.

          • Wren

            The UK has won in the past. I’m not sure how much they (whoever the they who makes the decisions is) wants to any more. I think the voting is slightly less political now than it once was, or at least political in a different way since it’s a call in vote in most countries now I believe. I watched NCIS and Law and Order instead this year though.

  • Gretta

    I just threw up in my mouth a little.

  • They look like the most diverse wax lips EVER. I’m going to get the mirror and see which one mine looks the most like. BRB.

    • The ones with the little pearls…are those….crabs? (And no, that’s mine :P)

      • Susan

        No, didn’t you hear crabs are extinct because of the destruction of their natural habitat.

      • anonymous

        I think that one (I think of it as the C3 yoni like on an excel spreadsheet) is vajazzled.

        • anonymous

          Oops, C2

  • CanDoc

    Just, wow. I especially like the one with molluscum contagiousum. Imaging noshing on that.
    Once seen, it cannot be unseen, indeed.
    Thanks for the laugh.

  • Jimbo

    4th row, #6 seriously looks like it is blowing a kiss.

  • Wishful

    Today was my final exam for my first year of medical school and now this…..the horrors are never ending.

  • Bombshellrisa

    Do you think that these cupcakes qualify for a Pinterest fail?

    • Victoria

      Pintrest fail or Pinstrosity?

      • Bombshellrisa

        Thank you-I am learning something new every day! Pinstrosity!

    • OMG is that a thing??

      • Bombshellrisa

        If you click on the picture, it takes you to the Pinterest board this pix is on.
        Google “Pinterest fail”-good for a laugh

  • R T

    Subject matter aside, those are really well done, lol! I’m impressed!

  • ratiomom

    Now that I have a better look at them, does the third one from the left on the second row have genital warts? And is the fifth one supposed to be menstruating? This really cannot be unseen!

  • ratiomom

    I never thought I would ever see this happen: 2 of my favorite blogs crossing over! Congrats Dr Amy, you now have something in common with Cake Wrecks!

  • Christy

    Somehow I’m stuck on the idea of how you serve those. Do you hand them out to people one at a time trying to make it very obvious you’re just handing out the next one and not trying to match them to the person? Or do you leave them on a table for guests to look at but not eat because everyone’s afraid of which one to grab?

    • Laura

      Serve them at a crunchy baby shower!

  • auntbea

    How come so few have hair? Is it a blessingway/Brazilian party?

    • CanDoc

      I was a little icked out that they look so infantile. So I’ll think of the Brazilian Blessingway and feel better.

  • Bombshellrisa

    I am baking cupcakes right now-thank goodness they are strawberry margarita and not yoni.

    • SkepticalGuest

      But strawberry margarita would be a good flavor for those red yoni cupcakes!

      • Bombshellrisa

        I actually had someone else frosting the cupcakes for me and said ” I want you to make the cupcakes look like THESE” and showed her the pic. She couldn’t believe what she was seeing.

        • skepticalguest

          That would be an awesome April Fool’s joke!

  • The Computer Ate My Nym

    Oh. My.

  • I read the post and I am going through the comments and have belly ache from laughing! Thank you for making my day!

  • Lori

    Oddly the idea of a tray of vulva cupcakes bothers me much less than the word Yoni. No worse than the various penis inspired cakes I’ve seen to commemorate bachelorette parties. (Though I personally passed on celebrating my impending marriage with night of phallic pastries and drunken shenanigans.) But I really despise the word Yoni so that made me cringe a bit. Oh that and the fact they look like they are made of fondant and I find fondant gross and pasty tasting. Give me buttercream any day!

    • Squillo

      Yeah, me too. I’m all for the idea of combating the negative/shameful associations society attaches to women’s genitalia, but fetishizing it doesn’t really help. And if you’re going to do it, call it by its name. I’d accept “Yoni” if the cupcakes were being served in a Hindu temple. Elsewhere, it’s just precious.

      • Lori

        “I’d accept “Yoni” if the cupcakes were being served in a Hindu temple…” Lol!

    • auntbea

      Plus, red decorator gel just never, ever tastes good.

    • Sue

      “penis”-inspired? What is that word? Oh – I get it – you mean LINGA.

  • JMacG

    Ewwwwwww!!! BARFTASTIC!!

  • Charlotte

    I’m actually pretty grossed out by my own real one. No way I’m touching the cupcake version.

  • Laura

    Wow….all I can say is….wow….and OT: I am taking a nutrition class as a pre-req for nursing school with, let’s call her “Professor Woo.” As in, 4 homebirths, lactivist to the max, anti-vax, anti-circumcision, and “the flouridated water in our water supply is a toxic chemical that might destroy our bones over time, and therapeutic grade essential oils can be powerfully medicinal without the bad side effects of drugs.” Now, she makes some very compelling points from her soap box, I mean lectern, but darn if I don’t have to guard my facial expressions and eye-rolling because, being the diligent student that I am, I sit right in the front! I am going to look up the “Great Fluoride Toxic Dumping” practices in the U.S. to see what that is all about. Interestingly enough, she makes so many of these issues about nepotism and the Almighty Dollar, Big Pharma, and all that rhetoric. If any of you wise, knowledgeable readers of this blog have any info for me regarding these topics, by all means, enlighten me (or commiserate with me 🙂 )

    • Lizz

      I’m sorry it always sucks to have the woo-ey professor and nutrition seems to be especially susceptible to it.

      • Laura

        I wonder why that is. She really gets on quite a soap box and it makes me mad because we’re all captive to her radical ideas. Some of those ideas have some half truths to them which make them dangerous.

        • KarenJJ

          Poor nursing students. There seems to be some pretty woo-y rubbish in their education. I think it was a midwifery textbook in Australia that referred midwifery students to Meryl Dorey’s AVN for vaccination info?

          • ratiomom

            Yep! The midwifery professor who wrote the book basically admitted that she put the reference in without checking what AVN actually stands for. She got fooled by the name into believing they were legitimate. I really hope that is the truth. If it was put in on purpose I really despair for the future of midwifery.

          • Sue

            That’s what was said, but it sounds highly dubious. Why would you write a book about a mainstream profession but put references for “the other side” in it? Do neurology textbooks reference chiropractic? Do infectious diseases textbooks reference homeopathy? I expect they knew exactly what they were doing. (Now been denounced by state health Minister, smirk).

          • Hannah

            But that’s almost worse, though. That she didn’t check her sources properly when writing a major textbook

          • anon

            Yep. Lots. And it hurts all of us and brings shame on our profession. I take it very, very personally.

    • Sue

      Laura – I suggest you ask her how many Americans have been diagnosed with fluoride toxicity from fluoridated urban town water and what their levels were.

      Then you can go on to inform her that cases of fluoride toxicity in the literature – mostly from China and India – are from areas with high natural fluoride levels in soil (usually volcanic areas) or from specific supplements.

      (Then you can ask, as an aside, whether nursing is a science-based profession.)

      • Laura

        Thanks Sue!

    • Lisa from NY

      Ask her what happens when a pregnant woman gets rubella.

  • Val

    “all natural breech homebirth of twins after 6 C-sections” lol!!!

  • Ethan’s mom

    Whisky Tango Foxtrot! That goes for the cupcakes but especially for the BTHBA6C….

  • GuestB

    This is just…not normal. Intriguing in a “let’s look at the carnage on the side of the road” kind of way, but normal people just don’t make these. At least not in my world.

  • Susan

    Hopefully we won’t have to look at the Fourth of July Intact Hot Dog celebration….

    • Give the intactivist sites time! They can make ANYTHING about the foreskin!

  • Not My Normal Nym

    My husband: “Oh. It’s p*ssy pastry.”

    • Happy Sheep

      My husband: “well that’s one way to eat p*ssy” great minds think alike.

  • anonymous

    Ewww. Amy, you should also warn people they’re not safe to look at after just eating either.

  • Dr Kitty

    Only slightly more appealing that the cake I saw decorated with chocolate representations of each of the 7 types of stool on the Bristol stool chart…

    • Susan

      LOL!

  • KumquatWriter

    Staceyjw made me a yoni cupcake for my birthday. So empowering!

  • Squillo

    Why must we use a Sanskrit word for vagina? Cause “Vulva cupcakes” wouldn’t sell? I’ve always hated the cutesy-wootsy words people use for female genitalia (and I’ve used them, too). It always strikes me as another way we try to neutralize women’s sexuality.

    • anonymous

      Because it sounds exotic and exciting somehow. Same awful reason you get names like “Whapio Diane Bartlett” because if she went with just her real name suddenly she wouldn’t have all the credence she gets in the HB cult

    • Charlotte

      I think they want it to sounds mystical, like it has some sort of ancient womyn nature energy power.

    • Yammy

      I like the sound of ‘cuntcakes’ myself, but I suppose that would be a bit too far at the opposite end of the respectfulness spectrum. Vulva cupcakes is a good compromise.

    • Sue

      If they have to be called “yoni”, they should be made from appropriate ingredients – like semolina and palm sugar, for instance.

    • Eddie

      I could never put my finger on why the words “yoni” and “lingam” irritated me. I just knew I cringed every time they were used. (If I heard them used in the proper cultural context, the words wouldn’t bother me.) But yeah, another way to neutralize sexuality in general, women’s sexuality included. Let’s celebrate sexuality in a way that sounds all mystical, but avoids being real, both at the same time.

      These words work for some people. More power to them. But I have always found them annoying.

      I’d eat vulva-cakes, as long as they were not made from real vulva. But “yoni cupcakes?” No thank you.

    • Hannah

      I always use the correct terms when I’m changing my daughter’s diapers. “Let’s clean your labia majora, now your labia minora…ooo your perineum is all poopy, let’s clean it up,” and so on. I get annoyed by cutesy names, but even more annoyed when people just call all of it “vagina.”

    • LukesCook

      And not only genitalia -it drives me wild when adult women refer to their own breasts as “boobies”, which I hear more and more often.

      People do it to little boys too, which is also annoying, but never with reference to any body parts belonging to adult men.

      • auntbea

        So sorry to annoy you! But “boobies” is one my favorite words. Far more fun to say than “breasts.” Boobies boobies booooobies. BOOBIES!

      • Eddie

        I’ve known adult men to give cutsie nicknames to the penis, usually shared with their girlfriend/wife, more rarely, with friends. But otherwise, yeah. Except for stand up comedy, I’ve never heard an adult use a male equivalent of “boobies” to refer to any part of his body.

        • Happy Sheep

          My husband calls his chest bewbies all the time, be we’re super mature like that.
          My son knows the correct terms for his genitalia, we get looks constantly when he says his scrotum is itchy or I chastise him for grabbing his penis in public, but those are their names, just because he’s 2.5 doesn’t mean he shouldn’t know correct names.
          He also knows that I have breasts, and insists that his nipples are breasts too, we’re working on it.

          We do say boobie for breastfeeding, my husband started that and my older son caught onto it. I’ve gotten used to him screaming “mom, baby wants a boobie!” whenever the baby cries.

          • auntbea

            Right! When you go to the gym to work on your pecs, you come back with bigger boobies. Female OR male!

  • Alison in Ottawa

    Are they organic gluten-free vegan cupcakes? They better be 😉

    • Dr Kitty

      Who would even bother if they aren’t at least going to taste nice (or at least nicer than they look)?

  • PrecipMom

    You forgot “healing” and “empowering”. If you don’t tell everyone how healing and empowering your breech twin HBA6C is (is this a waterbirth or “on land”?) how will they ever know?

    Mama, gently, I think you need to take your responsibility to educate those around you more seriously. You don’t want anyone to have a c-section or hospital birth just because you didn’t bully … er, educate her enough about her options!

    • Whatever name I used last time

      Waterbirth. With doula dolphins.

  • theadequatemother

    Where are the yoni’s with the poorly repaired or unrepaired 2nd and 3rd degree tears? These yoni’s are NOT representative of the glorious orifices of HB mamas!

    • Kerlyssa

      ‘Repaired?’ Your body is not broken, Mama!

      • Susan

        Really! Nature wouldn’t make a baby bigger than your Yoni can stretch…..

    • Captain Obvious

      Second row, first from left. Looks like a second degree laceration, or Ina May forbid, an episiotomy. At least put some seaweed on that, please.

      • theadequatemother

        I thought that yoni was menstruating or crying blood because it was denied its chance to perform its primary function when its owner had an unnecessarian.

  • mollyb

    My sweet c-section baby gave me the stomach flu. For the second time in 4 weeks. So I’m not going to click on this. (BTW, I thought the breastfeeding made her immune to stomach flu . . . ? WAS I LIED TO?!)

    • mollyb

      Okay, I clicked anyways. What’s up with 2nd row, 3rd from left? Gonorrhea? Vajazzling?

      • Susan

        Condyloma? I noticed it too… and one looks like it may have a tampon….

      • guest

        I want the one with the blood!

      • Courtney84

        I assumed vajazzling. I’m off to look for the tampon one now.

      • CanDoc

        I thought it was molluscum. Could be condyloma. 🙂