My first experience with denial in cancer care came with the very first patient I met as a medical student. It was the end of the second year of medical school and we were given our white coats and taken into the hospital to meet patients. I was assigned to an elderly woman with advanced lung cancer.
I had pored over the woman’s chart, so I was prepared for her poor condition. She sat upright in bed, struggling to breathe. Even though she was getting supplemental oxygen, her lips and fingernail beds were tinged blue. I cautiously made my way into the room and introduced myself.
“How are you feeling today?” I asked.
The woman brightened. “Oh, my arthritis isn’t so bad today. Thanks for asking.”
I spent almost an hour with this woman, discussing her hospitalization and medical history. Not once did she mention lung cancer. She acted as if she didn’t have lung cancer at all, and I was afraid to confront her directly. She was in denial.
In her case, denial was a useful coping strategy. She was not so mired in denial that she refused care for her cancer. Indeed, she had accepted state of the art cancer care complete with surgery immediately after the originally diagnosis, and chemotherapy along the way. But denial allowed her to put the frightening reality of end stage cancer out of her mind, and live the rest of her life in psychological comfort.
Sometimes, though, denial becomes a life threatening problem. It’s not hard to imagine why. Cancer patients face the paradigmatic case of being stuck between a rock and a hard place. They are told they have a disease that might kill them if they do nothing, and they must undergo brutal treatment in an effort to save their lives. The temptation always exists to pretend that they don’t have cancer, or that they don’t need arduous treatment to recover. Sometimes, the psychological pressure is so great that patients are tempted to run away from their cancer … literally.
That is what has happened in the tragic case of Daniel Hauser, a 13 year old boy with a highly curable cancer, whose mother has run off with him in an attempt to avoid the awful treatment. Obviously, they are running from the physical threat that the state of Minnesota will force Daniel to undergo the unpleasant treatment. Equally if not more importantly they are running away from the psychological threat that acknowledging the existence of the cancer and its life threatening nature poses.
As a mother myself, I cannot imagine anything worse that hearing that your child has a life threatening illness, and needs brutal treatment with no guarantee of survival. The mere thought of explaining that to a child, forcing a child to endure chemotherapy and witnessing his or her suffering makes me sick to my stomach. I don’t doubt that the reality is far worse than my worst imaginings. The only other choice is to pretend that the whole thing is not happening; it is just some perverse mistake; that the cancer will go away by itself or with gentle, “natural” treatments.
Daniel’s mother clings desperately to that belief. For her, it is an absolutely essential psychological coping mechanism. Unfortunately, it will almost assuredly result in Daniel’s death. This case is being reported in the media as a battle over who has the right to decide treatment for a child, the parents or the State, and legally, of course, that is exactly what it is. But psychologically, it is something else entirely, and it is important that everyone analyzing this case take note. In reality, it is about the mother’s need to protect herself psychologically from devastating news vs. her son’s right to receive life saving treatment.
That’s why the State is right to vigorously pursue the Hausers and force Daniel to have the brutal, but life saving treatment. Mrs. Hauser does not want to hurt her son; she loves him desperately and her willingness to single handedly defy the State of Minnesota proves it. Yet ultimately, the decision to run away is about her and her needs, not about Daniel and what is good for him. She needs to believe that he doesn’t have cancer, or that his cancer is not serious, or that she can treat him “naturally.” She may need to believe that, but it does not give her the moral right to forfeit his life to make herself feel better temporarily.
That’s what’s really at stake here: a mother’s need to protect herself by pretending that her child is not deathly ill vs. a child’s right to life saving treatment. In the best of all possible worlds, someone would be able to break the thick shell of her denial and get her to acknowledge reality. Her child is dying, no amount of pretending will prevent his death, and medical treatment represents the only chance to avert the disaster that she cannot bring herself to contemplate.
Daniel’s mother doesn’t realize it, but she and the State are in total agreement. More than anything else, she wants Daniel to live. More than anything else, the State of Minnesota wants Daniel to live. Her denial of reality is completely understandable, but that’s what it is: denial. And no child should have to die because his mother cannot face reality.
Trackbacks/Pingbacks
powtoon alternatives
[…]one of our visitors lately proposed the following website[…]
virtual card buy with bitcoin
[…]one of our guests recently encouraged the following website[…]
happyruck.com
[…]just beneath, are numerous completely not connected internet sites to ours, nevertheless, they’re certainly worth going over[…]
NMD News
[…]Here are a few of the internet sites we recommend for our visitors[…]
Gorilla Trekking Uganda Safaris
[…]Wonderful story, reckoned we could combine a number of unrelated data, nevertheless actually worth taking a search, whoa did 1 understand about Mid East has got extra problerms also […]
CableFreeTV News
[…]we came across a cool web page that you may well enjoy. Take a search when you want[…]
Buy Runtz Cannabis Strain Online
[…]that may be the end of this write-up. Here you will come across some web-sites that we feel you will value, just click the links over[…]
asus-rog-strix-rtx-3060-8gb-gaming-v2-for-sale/
[…]please check out the websites we follow, including this one particular, because it represents our picks through the web[…]
mining rigs for sale
[…]Wonderful story, reckoned we could combine a number of unrelated data, nonetheless genuinely really worth taking a search, whoa did one discover about Mid East has got additional problerms at the same time […]
Buy Adderall | Ritalin and Vyvanse Online
[…]below you will find the link to some web-sites that we believe you need to visit[…]
buy backlinks
…
Rentals car Bar
[…]The facts talked about within the article are several of the very best accessible […]
testosterone booster
[…]we came across a cool internet site that you simply might enjoy. Take a search if you want[…]
where can i buy counterfeit money
[…]The information mentioned in the article are several of the most beneficial obtainable […]
MURANG’A UNIVERSITY
[…]the time to study or stop by the content or web-sites we have linked to below the[…]
raw garden carts
[…]The info mentioned in the report are a number of the most effective out there […]
canada pharmacy
[…]very couple of internet websites that take place to be detailed beneath, from our point of view are undoubtedly very well worth checking out[…]
ama black mamba strain
[…]Here is a superb Blog You might Discover Exciting that we Encourage You[…]
Seiko 5
[…]Here is an excellent Blog You may Come across Fascinating that we Encourage You[…]
pioneer arms ak-47
[…]although web-sites we backlink to beneath are considerably not related to ours, we really feel they’re actually worth a go through, so possess a look[…]
BUY DMT ONLINE
[…]we came across a cool web site that you may enjoy. Take a look should you want[…]
best male masturbators
…
ormanda sikin beni
[…]just beneath, are many totally not connected sites to ours, having said that, they may be surely worth going over[…]
sig sauer firearms
[…]please check out the internet sites we follow, which includes this a single, as it represents our picks through the web[…]
buy beretta guns online
[…]Here is a superb Blog You might Locate Intriguing that we Encourage You[…]
savage grow plus reviews
[…]The facts mentioned in the report are several of the most beneficial available […]
Uganda Gorilla Trekking Safari
[…]that would be the finish of this report. Here you will uncover some internet sites that we assume you will value, just click the links over[…]
breaking news in Kenya
…
bitcoin
…
dizziness
[…]one of our visitors lately encouraged the following website[…]
Lubavitch Ruth Lunzer Girls’ Primary School
[…]the time to study or visit the material or web sites we have linked to beneath the[…]
Sig Sauer Guns For Sale
[…]very couple of web sites that take place to be detailed beneath, from our point of view are undoubtedly properly worth checking out[…]
RissMiner
…
buy dexedrine online
[…]that could be the end of this write-up. Here you will uncover some sites that we assume you will value, just click the hyperlinks over[…]
stock market today
[…]Wonderful story, reckoned we could combine several unrelated information, nevertheless really worth taking a look, whoa did 1 learn about Mid East has got far more problerms at the same time […]
DIAMONDBACK
[…]The details talked about within the post are some of the ideal accessible […]
شركة تسويق
[…]the time to read or check out the material or sites we have linked to beneath the[…]
… [Trackback]
[…] Information on that Topic: skepticalob.com/2009/05/running-away-from-cancer-literally.html […]
gv-rx195p256d-rh
…
MSI Gaming GeForce RTX 3090
[…]check beneath, are some totally unrelated web-sites to ours, however, they may be most trustworthy sources that we use[…]
sugar gliders for sale near me
[…]check beneath, are some entirely unrelated sites to ours, having said that, they’re most trustworthy sources that we use[…]
buy thc vape carts online
[…]Sites of interest we have a link to[…]
helix gaming chair
[…]one of our guests lately encouraged the following website[…]
s&w 627
…
Macaw for sale
…
juul pods
[…]Every once inside a while we opt for blogs that we read. Listed below would be the most current web pages that we choose […]
cotton candy cookies strain
…
background check service
[…]please take a look at the websites we stick to, which includes this one particular, because it represents our picks from the web[…]
magic mushrooms
[…]very few internet websites that happen to become detailed beneath, from our point of view are undoubtedly effectively worth checking out[…]
magic mushrooms
[…]although sites we backlink to below are considerably not connected to ours, we feel they are basically worth a go by means of, so possess a look[…]
Stiiizy pods
[…]Here is a good Weblog You might Come across Fascinating that we Encourage You[…]
mossberg 500a for sale
[…]one of our guests a short while ago encouraged the following website[…]
bier haus slot machine for sale
[…]we came across a cool web page that you simply could take pleasure in. Take a search in case you want[…]
taurus 92fs stainless
[…]always a significant fan of linking to bloggers that I like but do not get a great deal of link love from[…]
sig sauer p320 x carry
[…]Wonderful story, reckoned we could combine a few unrelated data, nevertheless actually really worth taking a appear, whoa did one particular understand about Mid East has got far more problerms too […]
taurus raging hunter
[…]Every when in a while we pick out blogs that we read. Listed below would be the newest websites that we select […]
Google
Wonderful story, reckoned we could combine a few unrelated data, nevertheless really worth taking a search, whoa did one particular master about Mid East has got a lot more problerms at the same time.
THC PUFF BAR
[…]very few sites that occur to be comprehensive beneath, from our point of view are undoubtedly properly worth checking out[…]
Buy Morphine pills online
…
myloweslife com
…
Izrada web sajta Crna Gora
Development of websites, mobile applications, portals and online stores
aromatherapy for sleep
[…]please visit the web-sites we stick to, such as this one particular, as it represents our picks from the web[…]
Serengeti African safari
[…]Sites of interest we’ve a link to[…]
ارقام بنات
[…]usually posts some incredibly intriguing stuff like this. If you are new to this site[…]
shipping containers for sale
[…]The information and facts mentioned inside the article are several of the very best obtainable […]
FARM EQUIPMENT FOR SALE IN PRETORIA
[…]one of our guests recently proposed the following website[…]
best sex toys
[…]always a large fan of linking to bloggers that I enjoy but do not get lots of link adore from[…]
adventure safari
…
Mac air akku ersetzen meilen
[…]Sites of interest we’ve a link to[…]
Shipping containers For Sale
[…]here are some links to websites that we link to due to the fact we feel they are worth visiting[…]
GOLF CARTS FOR SALE
[…]here are some hyperlinks to web pages that we link to for the reason that we assume they are worth visiting[…]
Buy Guns Online at Sig Sauer
[…]Here is a superb Weblog You might Come across Intriguing that we Encourage You[…]
IT Support Somerset
[…]just beneath, are quite a few entirely not related web-sites to ours, on the other hand, they’re certainly worth going over[…]
THC Vape Oil
[…]the time to study or check out the subject material or internet sites we have linked to beneath the[…]
download pc games for windows
…
mp3
[…]please visit the websites we adhere to, like this one, because it represents our picks through the web[…]
apps download for windows 8
[…]check below, are some entirely unrelated web sites to ours, even so, they’re most trustworthy sources that we use[…]
full version pc games download
[…]below you will find the link to some web-sites that we think you should visit[…]
free download for windows pc
[…]Here are a number of the web sites we suggest for our visitors[…]
games for pc download
[…]here are some links to web-sites that we link to mainly because we feel they may be worth visiting[…]
free download for pc windows
[…]although internet websites we backlink to below are considerably not associated to ours, we really feel they may be truly worth a go as a result of, so have a look[…]
بديل تروكولر
…
projektownie wnętrz Gdynia
[…]Here is a good Blog You may Locate Intriguing that we Encourage You[…]
male sex toys
[…]Here are several of the web-sites we suggest for our visitors[…]
rechargeable vibrator
…
Old Moat Primary School
[…]Sites of interest we have a link to[…]
ADDERALL FOR SALE
[…]although websites we backlink to beneath are considerably not related to ours, we feel they are truly really worth a go by, so possess a look[…]
Pitbull puppies for sale
[…]here are some links to web sites that we link to mainly because we feel they may be worth visiting[…]
Godfather Og strain
[…]here are some hyperlinks to internet sites that we link to simply because we believe they may be really worth visiting[…]
heno de pravia
[…]Here are several of the web-sites we advise for our visitors[…]
safari in uganda murchison falls
[…]just beneath, are a lot of absolutely not connected websites to ours, however, they may be surely worth going over[…]
russian shawl
…
메이저사이트
[…]please go to the web pages we comply with, which includes this one, because it represents our picks through the web[…]
ruger sp101 for sale
[…]just beneath, are numerous completely not related web pages to ours, having said that, they are surely worth going over[…]
best in ottawa
…
male masturbator review
[…]one of our guests just lately encouraged the following website[…]
w88
[…]Every after inside a whilst we select blogs that we study. Listed beneath would be the most recent internet sites that we opt for […]
penis ring review
…
vacuum erection device
[…]the time to study or visit the content material or web sites we’ve linked to below the[…]
masturbation toys
[…]usually posts some pretty intriguing stuff like this. If you are new to this site[…]
myths and facts about sex
[…]Sites of interest we have a link to[…]
pocket pussy
[…]always a huge fan of linking to bloggers that I like but really don’t get a great deal of link appreciate from[…]
Ctrlcoin.io – P2P CRYPTO EXCHANGE PLATFORM
[…]Wonderful story, reckoned we could combine a number of unrelated information, nonetheless really really worth taking a search, whoa did one particular master about Mid East has got extra problerms also […]
sites para ver filmes
[…]Every the moment inside a although we select blogs that we study. Listed below would be the most up-to-date internet sites that we choose […]
film streaming
[…]one of our visitors recently encouraged the following website[…]
streaming gratuit
[…]Every as soon as in a whilst we choose blogs that we study. Listed below are the most recent internet sites that we select […]
vehicle movements
[…]Wonderful story, reckoned we could combine some unrelated data, nevertheless actually worth taking a appear, whoa did one understand about Mid East has got more problerms as well […]
site de streaming
…
fatih escort
[…]Here is an excellent Blog You might Obtain Interesting that we Encourage You[…]
99defi p2p network
[…]one of our visitors not long ago recommended the following website[…]
French bulldog
[…]Every the moment in a when we pick out blogs that we read. Listed beneath would be the most recent internet sites that we decide on […]
معرفة صاحب الرقم
[…]usually posts some pretty intriguing stuff like this. If you are new to this site[…]
how to use realistic dildo
…
realistic dong
[…]very few web sites that occur to be detailed below, from our point of view are undoubtedly effectively really worth checking out[…]
male masturbators
[…]Here is an excellent Weblog You may Discover Exciting that we Encourage You[…]
ground leases
…
MILF Porn
[…]one of our guests recently encouraged the following website[…]
hosting deals
…
สมัคร lottovip
[…]we came across a cool web-site that you just may possibly appreciate. Take a look if you want[…]
learn more
[…]although web-sites we backlink to below are considerably not associated to ours, we feel they are essentially really worth a go by, so possess a look[…]
best prostate massager
[…]Sites of interest we have a link to[…]
inogen g5 backpack
…
male stroker
[…]check below, are some absolutely unrelated websites to ours, however, they’re most trustworthy sources that we use[…]
how to use battery operated vibrators
[…]Here are several of the sites we advocate for our visitors[…]
male p spot vibrator
[…]Here is a superb Blog You may Come across Interesting that we Encourage You[…]
vibrating panty
[…]Here are a few of the websites we recommend for our visitors[…]
fun88
…
exotic weed near me
…
Restaurants
[…]although sites we backlink to below are considerably not connected to ours, we feel they may be really worth a go through, so possess a look[…]
prostate massager reviews
[…]just beneath, are several completely not associated internet sites to ours, however, they are certainly worth going over[…]
mens sex toys
…
canadianpharmacyking.com
[…]that is the end of this post. Right here you will come across some web pages that we feel you will enjoy, just click the hyperlinks over[…]
eve thruster vibrator
[…]we came across a cool website that you might love. Take a look in case you want[…]
best kegel balls
[…]always a major fan of linking to bloggers that I really like but do not get a lot of link enjoy from[…]
escort bayanlar
[…]although web-sites we backlink to beneath are considerably not related to ours, we feel they may be truly worth a go through, so have a look[…]
dudullu escort
[…]that will be the finish of this write-up. Here you will discover some internet sites that we believe you will value, just click the links over[…]
aksaray escort
[…]always a big fan of linking to bloggers that I adore but do not get lots of link enjoy from[…]
cleaning male sex toys
[…]always a huge fan of linking to bloggers that I appreciate but do not get quite a bit of link enjoy from[…]
AMI Healthcare International Hospital Operations Management
[…]one of our guests not long ago proposed the following website[…]
male masturbators
…
male pocket strokers
[…]Every after in a whilst we pick out blogs that we study. Listed below are the most up-to-date websites that we opt for […]
body wand mini massager
[…]usually posts some extremely exciting stuff like this. If you are new to this site[…]
happyluke
[…]please go to the web-sites we comply with, which includes this a single, because it represents our picks through the web[…]
Heroin For Sale
[…]very couple of websites that transpire to become in depth beneath, from our point of view are undoubtedly effectively really worth checking out[…]
canada pharmacy
…
istanbul escort
…
audio porn stories
[…]check beneath, are some completely unrelated websites to ours, having said that, they’re most trustworthy sources that we use[…]
penis pump review
[…]Here is an excellent Blog You might Find Interesting that we Encourage You[…]
rechargeable butterfly vibrator
[…]always a huge fan of linking to bloggers that I enjoy but do not get a lot of link appreciate from[…]
Heartburn
…
Google
The time to study or go to the content or web sites we’ve linked to beneath.
learn more
[…]below you will discover the link to some internet sites that we feel it is best to visit[…]
computerreparatur rapperswil
[…]very few web sites that happen to be detailed beneath, from our point of view are undoubtedly very well worth checking out[…]
teachings of Christ
[…]we came across a cool web page which you may get pleasure from. Take a look when you want[…]
where to buy glo carts online
[…]Here are a number of the web-sites we advise for our visitors[…]
Armor Shortage
[…]always a significant fan of linking to bloggers that I like but do not get quite a bit of link love from[…]
software buy
[…]just beneath, are several entirely not connected web-sites to ours, having said that, they are surely worth going over[…]
Google
Sites of interest we’ve a link to.
Title…
[…]always a big fan of linking to bloggers that I appreciate but really don’t get a lot of link appreciate from[…]…
Title…
[…]below you will come across the link to some web pages that we feel you need to visit[…]…
Title…
[…]the time to read or stop by the material or internet sites we’ve linked to below the[…]…
Title…
[…]very few internet sites that happen to be in depth below, from our point of view are undoubtedly properly worth checking out[…]…