What Jon and Kate should say, but won’t

Jon and Kate wedding

Jon and Kate Gosselin have announced that they will issue a “life-changing decision” on June 22 during their hit reality TV show, Jon and Kate Plus Eight. The Boston Herald described the commercial airing in advance of the one hour special episode:

“Recently, we’ve made some life-changing decisions – decisions that will affect every member of our family, ones that we hope will bring each of us some peace,” Kate says in the spot.

The promo features giant graphics with phrases like “A family in turmoil” and “A relationship at a crossroads” flashing across the screen.

Here’s what they ought to say, although I know that’s never going to happen. They ought to say:

After deep and soul-searching reflection, and with the aid of our pastor and strong religious faith, we have come to the conclusion that we can no longer continue appearing on television. We have been married for 10 years and recently renewed our vows. We take those vows seriously.

Marriage is a promise to stay together through good and bad. No one needs to promise to stay together when things are good, so in essence, marriage is a promise to stay together and stand by each other when things are not good. As the public is aware, each of us has gone through a period of sadness and confusion. It seems like it might be easier to separate, but marriage is not about taking the easy course.

To honor the unbreakable commitment that we made to each other before our family, friends, and before God, we have regretfully come to the conclusion that we need time and privacy to repair our relationship. We need to concentrate on each other and our family, and a TV show and publicity tours are simply not compatible with what our family needs now.

We love our children more than life itself, and we know that more than anything, more than money or fame, our children need to grow up sheltered under the umbrella of the strong relationship of their father and mother. We want to show our children the true meaning of marriage and commitment. We are willing to forgo the temporary rewards of money and fame for the more lasting rewards that come from putting marriage and family before anything else.

We thank the public for being guests in our home and lives, but there comes a time when the guests must leave. We appreciate the love and concern that so many have show to us, and we hope that everyone will respect our need for privacy at this time. There will be no more TV show, no more books, and no more publicity tours for the foreseeable future.

In truth, this is a financial and emotional sacrifice for us, but marriage and children often require sacrifices of both partners. Although it is a sacrifice, we expect profound rewards: the deepening of our commitment to each other as spouses, friends and parents of eight precious children.

That’s not what they are going to say, of course. They are going to announce a separation, or even a divorce. And they are going to continue to capitalize on the boost in popularity that a troubled marriage has brought them. That’s why they put out press releases, why they are staging a “special episode” and why they are running commercial spots to promote it. They are no longer a family, but merely a business, and business is booming even as their family falls apart.