No, Gisele, natural childbirth promotes violence

Giselle Bundchen, sanctimommy extraordinaire, has stepped into it again.

You may recall that after her first child’s birth, she graced us with her thoughts on breastfeeding.

“… Some people here think they don’t have to breastfeed, and I think, ‘Are you going to give chemical food to your child, when they are so little?’” she tells Harper’s Bazaar UK, The Daily Mail reports.

“There should be a worldwide law, in my opinion, that mothers should breastfeed their babies for six months,” she adds.

Now, Giselle graces us with her thoughts on hospital birth. In a typically humble gesture, Giselle has included a section on her website on the Meaning of Life. Giselle allowed a member of  Birth Around the World (not One World Birth as I originally mentioned) to post about “birth without violence.” (cached here)

Frederick Leboyer, a French physician, described the birth under the baby’s perspective, in his book “Birth without violence” published in 1975 was revolutionary for its time. In his book he describes the feelings and perceptions of the baby during the birth process, showing how birth can be traumatic for the newborn and how we can help make this transition happen in a more loving and gentle way…

The lights with a brigth focus upon over the baby that cannot even open his eyes so with such clarity. Leaves a tight place and now feel unprotected with all the space. The umbilical cord is cut immediately, the baby is suddenly forced to breathe and the baby cries.

Everyone is happy with that shrill cry, but it’s a cry of pain. Where is my mommy? Where are they taking me? The baby is taken to be assessed and often go for hours until he can get to snuggle his mother, but what they need at this moment is each other.

The feeling raised: Fear. Fear of suffering, fear of the unknown, fear of pain, fear of abandonment, fear of childbirth. The society is surrounded by this fear that is evident by the high cesarean rates in Brazil and in most countries.

But at Gisele’s homebirth:

As Gisele described in an interview : “I wanted to be very aware and present during childbirth. I prepared a lot, doing yoga, meditation. I had a very gentle birth at home, he was born and spent the whole time on my lap, never went away from me (…) With each contraction he was closer to me, I transformed that intense feeling into a hope see him closer to me. “

And how is that different from hospital birth? Surprise! It isn’t!

Moreover, my research shows that natural childbirth and attachment parenting promote tyranny, mass murder and a variety of other ills. In fact, natural childbirth causes violence.


Of history’s greatest tyrants, men such as Hitler, Torquemada, Henry VIII, Attila the Hun, etc., nearly all were born vaginally. The only potential exception is Julius Caesar, reputedly born by way of the eponymous Caesarean section.

Almost all of history’s greatest tyrants were breastfed … exclusively.

The long term effect of giving birth without pain medication is dreadful. 100% of the children born to women who gave birth before the advent of anesthesia in the mid-nineteenth century are now dead.

Vaginal birth is a risk factor for Communism: Marx, Engels, Lenin, and Stalin were all born vaginally.

Breastfeeding is a risk factor for plague. Nearly 100% of people who died of the Black Death were breastfed.

Attachment parenting played a major role in imperialist expansion in the US. Fully 100% of the invaders who displaced the Native American population of this continent were born vaginally. Moreover, fully 100% of the Native Americans who were unable to resist the advent of the invaders were breastfed.

Breastfeeding is a risk factor for violent behavior. Almost all Viking marauders were breastfed.

Nearly all slave-holding Americans, plantation owners and the entire Confederate army were born vaginally.

Not a single Crusader was born to a woman who had an epidural in labor.

Vaginal birth is a risk factor for anti-social behavior. Roman emperors Caligula and Nero, as well as Jack the Ripper and Lizzie Borden (who committed patricide AND matricide) were born vaginally.

Breastfeeding leads to transmission of disease. Typhoid Mary was breastfed.

Hospital birth promotes technological progress. Desk top computers, iPhones, Skype and Twitter did not exist until the proportion of US births occurring in hospitals rose above 90%.

What is the cause behind these incontrovertible facts?

First, we’ve known for centuries that deep seated prejudice is “imbibed with mother’s milk.” I’ve never heard of anyone imbibing hatred with Similac, so the obvious solution is to promote formula feeding.

Second, as Dr. Michel Odent has insisted, oxytocin is the love hormone and some women clearly don’t have enough love. The solution is oxytocin supplements. Fortunately, pitocin has the exact same chemical composition of oxytocin, so it seems clear that, to be on the safe side, all labors should be induced or augmented with pitocin.

Finally, epidurals ought to be mandatory in labor. The mothers of the greatest tyrants in history gave birth without pain relief and look what happened as a result.

No, Gisele, hospital birth is not violent; it actually prevents violence!

Gisele and I do agree on her final quote:

Wilhelm Reich, said: “The Civilization begin on the day that the welfare of newborns prevail over any other consideration.”

That, of course, would mandate hospital birth, where, in the last 100 years, the neonatal mortality rate has dropped 90% and the maternal mortality rate has dropped 99%.

What’s truly uncivilized is when women like Gisele, who have no knowledge of science, statistics or obstetrics, who actually think they are doing “research” when they read the blatherings of nitwits like Fredrick LeBoyer, put their birth “experience” (and bragging rights) ahead of the lifesaving interventions of modern obstetrics … and pretend they are doing it to prevent violence.

Tell me, Gisele, how peaceful is the birth if the baby is born dead?