How we know that women are perfectly designed to give birth


Thanks goodness for natural childbirth and homebirth advocates. They’ve rediscovered what our ancient ancestors knew all along: women’s bodies are perfectly designed to give birth!

How did they figure it out? They looked at basic facts about childbirth.


There is no infertility.

No baby ever dies in childbirth.

No mother ever dies in childbirth.

There are no premature babies.

There are no stillbirths.

There are no miscarriages.

No babies are breech.

No babies are transverse.

There are no twins, triplets or higher order multiples.

No babies are ever too big to fit through the birth canal.

No babies are ever deprived of oxygen during labor.

No babies fail to breathe when they are born.

No babies ever get an infection during labor.

The umbilical cord never prolapses.

The placenta never abrupts.

The placenta never grows over the opening of the cervix.

The placenta is never retained.

The uterus never gets infected.

There is no Rh incompatibility.

There are no birth defects.

No woman ever develops eclampsia.

There is no postpartum hemorrhage.

There are no vaginal tears.

There are no vaginal fistulas.

There is no incontinence after birth.

There is always enough breastmilk.

No breastfed baby ever gets sick.

No breastfed baby ever dies.

No nursing mother ever dies.

So there you have it. Add it all up and it is obvious that women’s bodies are perfectly designed to give birth. Natural childbirth and homebirth advocates know this; how can those foolish obstetricians think otherwise?

91 Responses to “How we know that women are perfectly designed to give birth”

  1. rolland
    November 24, 2013 at 7:47 pm #

    wow , what a condecending one sided post.

  2. Jan C
    November 22, 2013 at 11:01 am #

    There is an excellent TED talk on “Optimism Bias” which I think really puts the whole NCB home birth issue into perspective. I hope you will check it out.

  3. Sara
    November 20, 2013 at 8:47 pm #

    This whole blog & debate turn me off as much as anyone who would claim that the above OP is all fact.
    I feel that the natural birth community can be closed minded & ignorant as they are not all trained to interpret science and I’ve heard some very bizarre claims during my natural birthing class. Perhaps this blog intends to be satirical & sarcastic? It’s antagonistic by not recognizing that midwives and doctors can work very well together and can work towards optimal outcomes for moms and babies. I loved my midwife team and I’m still recommending my OBGYN even as of last week (my daughter is now 19 months old). I wish there were more balanced views about birth, nursing, and parenting rather than this type of information (and that from the “other” camp) that puts people at odds and keeps us from working towards better lives for all parents & children.

    • Bombshellrisa
      November 20, 2013 at 9:26 pm #

      Please keep reading-Dr Amy recognizes that there are two classes of midwives who can practice in the US. The highly trained, extremely skilled CNM type who can get hospital privileges and the CPM/direct entry/lay/traditional birth attendant type. She has no problems with the midwives who work with OBs and can actually diagnose and treat women’s health issues.

  4. Lisa
    November 19, 2013 at 12:34 pm #

    You forgot the other part: Women don’t die at the hospital, children don’t die at the hospital, doctors never fail, children are never born premature because an unnecessary induction, mother don’t have postpartum depression because an unnecessary c-section, mothers don’t have complications because of c-sections, children never have complications due to unnecessary interventions. You really beleive doctors are Gods. New news: doctors aren’t gods, they are just ordinary people with specific studies, and I don’t know why you feel so attacked by women who prefer natural births, breastfeeding and attachment parenting. The things you critizise about these women are the same you do but in the other way…

    • Melissa S
      November 19, 2013 at 4:17 pm #

      Doctors don’t deny that women and children can die, even in a hospital birth. Doctors don’t claim that women are perfectly designed to give birth. Doctors DO claim (and have scientific evidence to back them up) that the rate of maternal and perinatal mortality significantly improves when birth occurs in a hospital where there is access to interventions when necessary. It’s pretty bold to claim that an intervention is unnecessary when you have no skin in the game (you are not the patient or doctor making decisions that could impact a baby’s future). There’s a lot of monday morning quarterbacking going on in your post…

    • Karen in SC
      November 19, 2013 at 5:34 pm #

      Please refer us to an instance of an intervention being unnecessary – without the benefit of hindsight.

    • drsquid
      November 19, 2013 at 5:57 pm #

      and dr amy has had “natural” childbirth (apparently defined as no medications) and breastfed. she criticizes those that feel it is the only way, or right for everyone. and she criticizes those who make untrue claims (such as home birth being as safe or safer, formula is poison etc)

      • Antigonos CNM
        November 21, 2013 at 5:47 am #

        There is a huge difference between childbirth without analgesia and so-called “natural” birth. It is unfortunate that the terms are confused.

    • amazonmom
      November 19, 2013 at 5:59 pm #

      If you have the secret to knowing which inductions and C/S are unnecessary ahead of time you need to publish.

    • Guest
      November 20, 2013 at 10:17 am #

      It’s so funny to me that people assume Dr. Amy “feels attacked.” She’s a Harvard trained OB/Gyn. Who birthed four babies naturally and breastfed for many months each. Why would she feel attacked by you?

    • BeatlesFan
      November 20, 2013 at 10:39 am #

      Please feel free to provide a link to wherever it was on this site that you saw any of those things written, by Dr. Amy or by anyone else. I’ve been reading here for three years and I’ve yet to see any of those claims written by someone other than one such as yourself, who parachutes in here and writes them sarcastically.

      I’m heading out to pick up my son from preschool, then go to the store and the post office. That gives you a few hours to provide a link. Happy searching!

    • Bombshellrisa
      November 20, 2013 at 1:16 pm #

      You do realize that you merely gave more proof that women’s bodies are not “designed” perfectly to give birth?

      • Antigonos CNM
        November 21, 2013 at 5:46 am #

        No, Lisa is quite right. There are mediocre doctors and hospitals which are not top of the line. But it’s not an “everything must be perfect or there is no value at all” argument. It is like undertaking a long trip in a car. Before you go, if you are sensible, you check the tires, the oil, the gas, if you have a first aid kit in the trunk, your insurance and other documentation is in the glove compartment, etc. That does not mean you might not have a flat tire on the way, or your radiator might overheat, or something awful happen to the gears, or, worst of all, you might be in an accident. But you’d be a fool to set out across the Australian desert, for example, where gas stations are few and far between, with treadless tires and no spare, an oil leak, only half a tank of gas, and leave all your documents, extra water, etc. at home because you “trust the car”. Home birth is like that. What possible reason would you have to take ADDITIONAL risk beyond the normal risks of birth — obstetrics, like all medicine, is not an exact science — when you don’t need to?

        • Bombshellrisa
          November 21, 2013 at 12:57 pm #

          I don’t think people who are stupid enough to rely on catch phrases like “women’s bodies are designed to give birth” really think about risk at. If a body is “perfectly designed” then why talk about dying in one setting versus another or complications of C-sections or postpartum depression in the first place? If a body is “designed” in the way they claim, none of these things are possible in the first place.

  5. anh
    November 19, 2013 at 7:05 am #

    Completely OT but wanted to vent to likely sympathetic people. I’ve recently reconnected with my sister after 5 years. She is mentally ill with a variety of personality disorders and is difficult to say the least. She has just enough medical training to think she’s an expert and the other day she “educated” me about how bad epidurals were and how foolish I had been to get one and that infant mortality in the US is so bad I should birth overseas. Sigh. Due to her illness it’s a bad idea to argue with her.

    • wookie130
      November 19, 2013 at 7:20 am #

      My sister is also mentally ill, so I know how exasperating and difficult that can be at times. At least you recognize that your epidural was a fine thing to do, and that no harm came from it.

    • Alenushka
      November 19, 2013 at 10:39 am #

      So sorry but you are wise not to argue.

  6. yentavegan
    November 19, 2013 at 6:25 am #

    If you believe your body is not capable of natural child birth , then the principles of self fulfilling prophesy takes over and you won’t be able to give birth naturally. All the natural child birth community is trying to do is to strengthen our species by opening our minds to the real experience of natural childbirth. Medicine deprives women of the elevating and life altering rite of passage that our foremothers had achieved and endured.
    If we as a species continue to medicalise birth then soon enough know one will remember how to do it naturally. Is that the kind of world you want to live in? the natural child birth community only has the best interest of all humanity, they are our beacons and our guiding light away from devolving into a dystopia resembling ‘the Brave New World”.
    You all want to keep your head in the sand while corporations like the pharmecueticals government complex strip us of our uniqueness?

    • yentavegan
      November 19, 2013 at 6:27 am #

      the above post is what passed for an intellectual argument at ICAN meetings some 25 years ago.

    • The Bofa on the Sofa
      November 19, 2013 at 9:07 am #

      “it’s all your fault”

    • Allie
      November 19, 2013 at 11:24 am #

      Yentavegan, this is either a brilliant piece of satire or a sign of the end times.

  7. mindiloohoo
    November 18, 2013 at 8:56 pm #

    And no one gets hyperemesis and nearly vomits herself to death.

    • Antigonos CNM
      November 19, 2013 at 6:38 am #

      In fact, one of the Bronte sisters did just that — had hyperemesis so bad that she did die.

      • MaineJen
        November 19, 2013 at 4:43 pm #

        Yuck, I didn’t know it was possible to die of it. 🙁 But thinking about it logically, before the era of IV fluids and anti-emetics, I suppose it would be possible. What an awful way to go.

        • Dr Kitty
          November 19, 2013 at 4:47 pm #

          Umm hmm
          Acute renal failure due to dehydration is NOT a good way to go. Quick though.

        • MichelleJo
          November 19, 2013 at 9:02 pm #

          I’d be dead. And my husband left a widower with no kids.

  8. BeatlesFan
    November 18, 2013 at 6:13 pm #

    Reading that list makes me even more relieved that we are done having children. I didn’t discover this blog, nor did I read any other childbirth-related sites, until AFTER my son was born; I had never heard of placenta previa, shoulder dystocia, uterine rupture, placental abruption, etc. until my son was a few months old. I actually had to avoid this blog for a few months while pregnant with my daughter (who will be 9 months soon) because reading 3 years’ worth of childbirth horror stories had me convinced something horrible would happen, even after ultrasound showed all was as it should be. How can some women read that laundry list of complications and horrible outcomes and think, “Well, I KNOW for a FACT that NONE of those will happen to US!”?

    • wookie130
      November 19, 2013 at 7:25 am #

      I experienced recurrent miscarriages prior to having my daughter 8 months ago, and during that pregnancy I had placenta previa and obstetric cholestasis…prior to her c-section birth (which was uneventful), I had to avoid this blog as well. I accepted the content of this blog as REALITY, vs. what I was reading on and Babycenter as FANTASY, and I did my best every day to remain relaxed.

      • Pillabi
        November 19, 2013 at 8:52 am #

        Reality vs fantasy. More or less the same thing that’s happening to me. I like to believe I can somehow communicate with my baby in the womb, cuddle him, understand from him that everything is fine and will be so. These thoughts are relaxing and I do believe it helps one’s health trying to avoid every unnecessary stress. But at the same time I AM AWARE that things can go wrong, and that’s why I’ve undergone all necessary examinations throughout this pregnancy (and the previous ones) and that’s why I’m going to give birth in a hospital! I appreciate the existence of professionals and groups that help mothers to see pregnancy and motherhood like a chance to explore unknown sides of their personality, or to get a better knowledge of their bodies, but they should never, never suggest this kind of self-awareness and confidence as an alternative to medicine and science.

  9. Mel
    November 18, 2013 at 3:43 pm #

    I was thinking about this topic last night. My cows are well designed for labor and delivery but even a best-case scenario can turn dangerous in seconds.

    I was at the farm watching a cow deliver. My husband was about 1/4 miles away fixing machinery. The delivery was going just fine – it was the dam’s fourth calf and she was progressing nicely. The front legs, head, shoulders and top of the rib cage were out. The amniotic sac had partially ruptured, but was still intact about the head of the calf. Suddenly, the calf was thrashing its head around, going through breathing motions and extending its tongue. That sudden movement can mean that the umbilical cord has broken and the calf needs to be able to breath oxygen now. I ripped the sac free from the head of the calf, cleared the nose and mouth and it started breathing. The dam hadn’t progressed any farther on that contraction which is unusual. The dam had laid down in the middle of the contraction and caused the half-born baby to point up towards her spine instead of towards her feet. I grabbed the front feet of the calf – which was really, really gooey – and dragged it back into the right position. I gently rotated the torso of the calf during the next contraction and out popped a healthy, vigorous bull calf. He was just fine – scored an equivalent of a 10 Apgar at 1 minute. In fact, he started bellowing within 1 minute – absolutely adorable.

    What struck me about this delivery is that everything that went wrong was due to random chance. The amniotic sac usually rips in a way that opens the calf’s head to the air. Cows usually stand during delivery. The dangerous stuff was just sheer bad luck. Evolution isn’t the only actor in life.

    • Lisa from NY
      November 18, 2013 at 9:33 pm #

      How often have you seen dams lay down in middle of contractions to rest?

      Have you heard of similar stories from other farmers?

      • Siri Dennis
        November 19, 2013 at 4:02 am #

        That poor hatted, fatted calf was probably fed formula based upon human milk, just to add insult to injury…

      • Mel
        November 19, 2013 at 9:07 am #

        During first stage labor and even into early second stage labor (presenting feet are out; can see the nose on a front facing calf) the dam will often lay down during or after contractions to rest. In fact, if a cow is laying down through the whole delivery of the calf, the calf will be born just fine because the force of the contractions causes the calf’s body to bend along the spine which positions the torso of the calf towards the dam’s feet.

        In this case, the dam started standing – which is the easiest position for delivery + added bonus of using gravity to drain the calf’s lungs of fluid – then laid down. The calf was far enough out that his front hooves caught on the ground and caused him to torque and twist into a much harder position to deliver from. If I had left them alone, the dam would have eventually moved, but prolonging labor is stressful on the dam and the calf. Plus, large calves can sometimes their hips stuck in the pelvis (hip-lock). If the calf was born after being moved into the right position, no problem. If labor continued to stall, I’d of needed to get my husband who is more experienced with hip-lock to help get the calf out without doing permanent damage to the cow.

        At the last dairy meeting I went to, another local farmer had a calf that was born in the amniotic sac and suffocated. Usually, the dam would rip into the sac when the calf was born, but this one didn’t. Another farmer had a suffocation where the calf’s umbilical tore during delivery but before the torso was out far enough for the calf to start breathing.

        • Amy M
          November 19, 2013 at 12:35 pm #

          Slightly OT, but my one of my favorite farm stories (briefly worked on a dairy farm in college): we were interviewing people to take the place of some of us who were graduating soon, so I had this dude with me in the milking parlor. Things are going along ok, until we get down near the end of the “low” herd. “Uh oh,” I said to the interviewee, “we should have moved that cow to the hospital pen. She’s calving.” He asked how I knew. I said “I see feet.” He kinda freaked out, and didn’t end up working there. 🙂

          • Mel
            November 20, 2013 at 9:44 am #

            That’s awesome! My husband and I met online and on our 5th date or so he asked me if I wanted to go see the cows. We were walking in the barn when Nico looked in the fresh group and said “Uh oh. They moved the wrong cow. We’ve got to move her back to the birthing pen. She’s having her calf.” I asked “How do you know?” Nico said “The feet”. While he started moving gates, I was staring at all of the cows in the fresh group trying to figure out which of the cows’ feet looked different. Really, the cows’ feet looked exactly the same to me. I helped move some gates, the cow attempted to get in the birthing pen by diving head first through a low gate – that didn’t work, but at least she didn’t get stuck- and we eventually got her into the right pen. As Nico was complementing me on keeping a cool head, the dam had another contraction and the fetal feet popped out of her vulva. I blurt out “Oh! THOSE feet! That explains why the other feet all looked the same.”

            I love telling that story to dairy farmers. I’ve made old crochety farmers laugh so hard that they cried.

        • Lisa from NY
          November 19, 2013 at 5:33 pm #

          Thanks. I was curious what happened to dams during “natural childbirth”.

    • Siri Dennis
      November 19, 2013 at 2:32 am #

      Be honest, now – you had that dam flat on her back on a delivery bed, strapped to a CTG, didn’t you? With iv fluids and syntocinon (pitocin)? It was the cascade of intervention wot dun it, nothing else. And then I bet you rushed that calf off to SCBU (Special Calves (Bulls) Unit) on some flimsy pretext, just to interfere with the bonding process. You horrid person, you!!

      • Lisa Cybergirl
        November 19, 2013 at 2:49 am #

        Get that hat off that calf!!!

      • Mel
        November 19, 2013 at 8:41 am #

        Yup. We LOVE those interventions. Nothing improves life on a farm like strapping a half-a-ton cow to a table. Plus, placing IV’s on a cow is super-easy! The veins are so clear under the fur.

      • Amazed
        November 19, 2013 at 9:00 am #

        Goo thing that you and the cow decided that she’d give birth in her own cowshed. Pretty sure that had you been at the hospital, the poor newborn would not have avoided the calf NICU.

      • araikwao
        November 19, 2013 at 3:09 pm #

        I bet she hatted it, too

        • Mel
          November 20, 2013 at 9:47 am #

          We do strap on a calf jacket if the weather is cold. I’ll see about crocheting hats……

    • The Bofa on the Sofa
      November 19, 2013 at 9:12 am #

      My cows are well designed for labor and delivery but even a best-case scenario can turn dangerous in seconds.

      Shoot, Mel, you have even selectively bred your cattle in part, on their ability to give birth!!!!

      NCB folks like to talk about how evolution through natural selection has designed women’s bodies to give birth. You’ve tried to do even better through artificial selection.

      And you STILL have problems.

  10. The Computer Ate My Nym
    November 18, 2013 at 3:29 pm #

    Re breastfeeding: There is no such thing as PKU or galactosemia.

  11. Elle
    November 18, 2013 at 3:29 pm #

    But didn’t you know? ALL those things are your fault for not doing enough [fill in the blank], or for choosing to do ________.

    • The Bofa on the Sofa
      November 19, 2013 at 9:13 am #


      The answer to both!

  12. The Computer Ate My Nym
    November 18, 2013 at 3:28 pm #

    No woman ever gets a blood clot after delivery. Especially not a fatal one.
    No woman ever develops autoimmune disease that kills her over years after pregnancy.
    No woman ever develops congestive heart failure after pregnancy.
    No woman ever develops diabetes from the stress of pregnancy.
    No woman with sickle cell disease ever spends most of her pregnancy in terrible pain from crisis.

    Shall I go on? I can.

    • Jennifer2
      November 18, 2013 at 10:38 pm #

      For that matter, no woman with a clotting disorder ever gets pregnant. No woman with an autoimmune disease ever gets pregnant. No woman with diabetes ever gets pregnant. No woman with any pre-existing health problem that could complicate a pregnancy or birth ever gets pregnant.

      • The Computer Ate My Nym
        November 19, 2013 at 10:33 am #

        For that matter, no woman with a clotting disorder ever gets pregnant.

        Which makes it a complete mystery how the inheritable clotting disorders get passed to the next generation. Especially in the homozygous form. 😉

      • The Computer Ate My Nym
        November 19, 2013 at 2:40 pm #

        And pregnancy never exacerbated a pre-existing health condition, turning, for example, a mild clotting tendency into a life threatening PE or a well controlled case of diabetes into a life and organ threatening hyperglycemic emergency.

  13. Dr Kitty
    November 18, 2013 at 3:21 pm #

    I was at a super interesting talk from a urogynaecologist today.
    Mmm prolapse and stress incontinence…just as nature intended…

    • Antigonos CNM
      November 19, 2013 at 6:43 am #

      I am of the firm belief that at least part of the desirability of virgins is that the vagina isn’t slack from repeated unhealed laceration due to tearing at birth in the millennia before properly stitched episiotomies. After all, unless pregnancy results from the very first act of intercourse, the bride can get pregnant by someone other than her husband/lord and master so it’s not a sure-fire way of knowing who Daddy is.

  14. attitude devant
    November 18, 2013 at 3:20 pm #

    Don’t forget my own personal favorite: that women who miscarry do so slowly, over 3-4 weeks, often with disastrous hemorrhage. I have taken women trying to miscarry ‘naturally’ to the OR with hemoglobin levels that shocked me (most recently 4.4—normal is about 12). Nature can’t even get it right when she’s screwed up and wants to start over!

    • Dr Kitty
      November 18, 2013 at 3:25 pm #

      I’ll never forget the woman when I was a trainee.
      At 1am her HB was 11, and I went to theatre to assist on a very complicated emergency CS.
      At 4 am when I checked on her again her HB was 5 and we were rushing HER to theatre.

      Miscarriages can kill if left to their own devices.

      • Mishimoo
        November 18, 2013 at 5:55 pm #

        Good grief!
        Thanks to this thread, I’ve suddenly realised that the doctor and nurses that I saw for my miscarriage weren’t just rude, they were more incompetent than I knew (no blood tests or monitoring done).

        • MichelleJo
          November 19, 2013 at 9:31 pm #

          Imiscarriage where after several days of slow loss, I was already in the hospital when I started-terrifyingly hemorrhaging (I’ll spare all the details, but I realized what was going on when I woke up at 3 in the morning *soaked* in blood, nightdress, sheet, everything was blood red.) It was the middle of the night and there was *one* ob/gyn on duty who was in theater and would come when she finished. She did come, around two hours later when I had already delivered the fetus into my hands. No one checked my HB, no-one checked my BP. Irresponsibility at its best. (Not long afterward, the entire hospital closed/was shut down for reasons which have never been released. It didn’t surprise me. With care like I got there, they could easily kill a few mothers and babies a week.) Withmiscarriage number two I rushed to (a different) hospital at the first sign of it, where they wouldn’t admit me, and wanted to schedule a D&C within the next few days. I was so scared to go back home, that I didn’t. I hung around that hospital until I started becoming an emergency (the next day), and I was rushed back for a D&C and was spared all the trauma of my first miscarriage.
          Oh the joys of being the partner that has to actually bring the children into the family…

          • Mishimoo
            November 19, 2013 at 10:00 pm #

            So glad you survived it!
            That’s why my brother doesn’t want bio-kids until there is a safer way of producing them. He doesn’t think that it’s fair to ask a life partner to undertake something so risky.

            Thankfully, I didn’t haemorrhage or need a D&C, but they didn’t check my BP or HG either. I was 17, and the medical staff acted like I somehow deserved it. The doctor didn’t introduce himself or explain what he was going to do, just asked “Have you had an abortion before?”, scolded me for not having my pants off, yelled at me to spread my legs and didn’t even give me a modesty drape or close the curtains. Neither did the nurse. I was left alone in a room all night and treated like I was a major inconvenience every time I hit the call button to ask for a bedpan, to ask for it to be taken away, and to ask for some more water because I was so incredibly thirsty…even though I was the only patient in the ward. After I passed the foetus into the bedpan, I pointed it out to the nurse, thinking that it should be sent away for testing or something. She confirmed that it was a foetus and flushed it down the toilet in front of me. The next day, I was sent to the next town over for an ultrasound. 45 minutes over bumpy roads with contractions more painful that the ones I had with pitocin. The sonographer told me that he could clearly see that everything was out, that he could see it wasn’t an ectopic pregnancy with the external wand, and that he didn’t need to do an internal scan. Which he proceeded to do anyway, and he was far from gentle. When I was discharged from the hospital, there were no mentions of any follow-ups or check-ups and no discharge instructions.

            This is why I’m super-picky about medical professionals and read everything that I can, just so I can avoid being in a situation like that again.

          • Siri Dennis
            November 20, 2013 at 2:34 am #

            I’m not surprised. How utterly disgusting and contemptible. I’m so sorry you had to go through that. Were you alone too? No support? No one deserves to be treated like that. 🙁

          • Mishimoo
            November 20, 2013 at 4:33 am #

            Thanks 🙂
            They kicked my boyfriend (now husband of 8 years) out pretty much straight away. He went with me to the ultrasound, then took me home and we grieved together.

    • The Computer Ate My Nym
      November 18, 2013 at 3:26 pm #

      Not to mention miscarriages that fail to complete leaving women with rotting tissue in their uteruses. Those are fun too.

      • FormerPhysicist
        November 18, 2013 at 5:07 pm #

        I am forever grateful for my wonderful OB/Gyn that came to the hospital at 5 am to do a D&C when my miscarriage was *not* going well.

        • wookie130
          November 19, 2013 at 7:29 am #

          Same here. My first miscarriage was a missed miscarriage, and I was 12 weeks along when I discovered that the pregnancy never actually progressed beyond 6 weeks…the D&C was rather a traumatic event in my life, but I am thankful that my body didn’t have to prolong anything anymore.

  15. Captain Obvious
    November 18, 2013 at 3:16 pm #

    Don’t forget the, “the doctors just want to stress you out so that you don’t go into labor and they can then do a CS on you, so decrease your stress now”. Watching CNN, I would have expected no one to go into labor during the Philippines tsunami, but now they are dealing with all the storm babies that delivered despite all that stress.

    • Lisa from NY
      November 18, 2013 at 9:36 pm #

      There goes the “positive thinking” myth.

    • Antigonos CNM
      November 19, 2013 at 6:45 am #

      And one baby born in a field hospital sent to the Philippines by our government was named by grateful parents “Israel”.

      • MichelleJo
        November 19, 2013 at 9:10 pm #

        Wasn’t that in Haiti?

        • MichelleJo
          November 19, 2013 at 9:34 pm #

          Forget that comment. It was most likely both.

        • Antigonos CNM
          November 20, 2013 at 1:11 am #

          Babies were born in Israeli-supplied field hospitals in Haiti, too, but this news story was on the evening news just a couple of days ago. Israel got rescue teams into the Philippines very fast; there are a great many Filipinos in Israel, who care for the elderly and are very much liked by the families who employ them for their gentleness.

  16. Guest
    November 18, 2013 at 12:55 pm #

    We are perfectly made to run, too. I run nicely. But I could work my whole life, try my hardest every single day, and I would never be very fast. And I could work my very hardest, suffer beyond all imagining without intervention, and I would still not be able to birth vaginally, either. So thank goodness I don’t need to spend my days running from predators, and I don’t need to deliver without medical help. Because I live in 2013.

    • November 19, 2013 at 6:10 am #

      My eyes are designed to see and yet I need glasses. How is that different to the birth setting? And why is birth the only place where women are told that their bodies are perfectly designed for something?

      • Antigonos CNM
        November 19, 2013 at 6:48 am #

        You only think you need glasses. I managed perfectly well for years even though I had to crochet using my toes. And of course, if you are young and nearsighted, nature cures that when you develop presbyopia and the farsightedness caused by age [and less flexible lenses in your eyes] cancels out the myopia. Ain’t nature grand?

        • November 19, 2013 at 6:52 am #

          You are so right! I remember that doctor telling my that my eyes were broken and they aren’t! The world is so much more beautiful when blurred and unfocused! They should accept that we have other ways of seeing! And now I am trying to imagine you crocheting with your toes! You really need to teach me!Trust eyes! I even close my eyes when I cross the street because I trust eyes and I know that nothing will happen to me!

          • Amazed
            November 19, 2013 at 9:06 am #

            And besides, on my pre-glasses era I never recognized all the nasty people I met in the street. Of course, I failed to recognize my friends either… I am so ashamed that I did not trust my eyes. I was brainwashed and it was so terrible that when I had my glasses stolen while I was fooling around in the sea, the first thing I did was buy another pair.

            Horrible, I tell you!

          • November 19, 2013 at 9:18 am #

            I am feeling so sorry for you! You missed all these precious moments without glasses! You know doctors just want us to wear glasses becausse they’re all in this together with The Big Spectacle and they just want you to buy more glasses! Oh and sometimes, they want you to wear contact lenses so that nobody will see them! That’s the easy way out, I am telling you! You are no proper human being if you’re wearing them! And of course doctors are cutters, do you know how many people get their eyes cut with a lazer!

          • MichelleJo
            November 19, 2013 at 9:36 pm #

            This is all satire, but it won’t be for long. At some point they will start on eye doctors as well.

  17. Amy M
    November 18, 2013 at 12:16 pm #

    That’s a long list of perfect.

  18. areawomanpdx
    November 18, 2013 at 12:11 pm #

    I love this. One of the things I don’t understand about the NCB movement is the uber religious christian fundamentalist women caterwauling about how God designed women to give birth and we’re messing it up with intervention. I’m not religious, but I know enough about the story to remember that there was this little thing with the snake and sin and death and things not working so perfectly anymore. So it doesn’t work from a religious standpoint. And on the other side of the coin, it certainly doesn’t work from an evolutionary standpoint, either. Evolution is not perfect. It’s good enough to get the species by. A shitton of humans can die from imperfect evolution, but as long as enough survive to reproduce, the species lives on.

    • The Computer Ate My Nym
      November 18, 2013 at 1:21 pm #

      Fussy point: evolutionarily “perfect” (or even “good enough”) and “imperfect” can change. An organism that is perfect for one environment may be a disaster in another. The adaptations that help us give birth successfully today may cause humanity’s extinction tomorrow if just the right (wrong) things change. Evolution is a constant ongoing process. And, yes, humanity continues to evolve.

    • Elle
      November 18, 2013 at 3:26 pm #

      I’m a Christian and I also mentally facepalm when I hear women using God as an excuse to not take common sense precautions. If they think anything in this world currently works perfectly, they are not looking around at all.

      • Mel
        November 18, 2013 at 3:48 pm #

        Have you ever heard that joke about the old man who was waiting for God to save him from a flood? A neighbor was evacuating and offered him a ride. He said, “I don’t need it, God will save me.” The local sheriff came through and offered to evacuate him. “I don’t need it, God will save me.” As the waters rose, a stranger came by in a rowboat and offered to take him away. “I don’t need it, God will save me.” When he was trapped on the roof, a rescue helicopter tried to reach him. He refused transport because “I don’t need it, God will save me.” The old man drowned. He asked God why God didn’t save him when he had so much faith. God looked confused and said “I tried. I sent you a neighbor, a sheriff, a boat and a helicopter….”

        • Elle
          November 18, 2013 at 6:05 pm #

          Yes, I have… that’s a good one!

        • November 18, 2013 at 6:15 pm #

          A Rabbi prayed to win the lottery. “Oh lord,” he prayed daily, “if only I could win the lottery, all of my problems would be solved!” Years went on, and the Rabbi’s financial trouble only got worse. Finally one night he cried out in desperation, “Oh Lord, why won’t you let me win the lottery?!”

          A booming voice echoed through the clouds in reply,

    • Lisa from NY
      November 18, 2013 at 9:46 pm #

      You can rewrite history and say smallpox didn’t kill people until the vaccine was created.

      • Young CC Prof
        November 18, 2013 at 10:31 pm #

        Totally. And as for the New World civilizations that were wiped out by it, hey, they aren’t around to complain.

        I mean really, does anyone here personally know anyone who died of smallpox prior to the mid 18th century? No? Then you can’t prove it happened.

      • Lena
        November 19, 2013 at 8:03 am #

        What the anti-vax twits claim is that smallpox was already in sharp decline because of better sanitation and nutrition, and the vaccine took the credit.

    • VeritasLiberat
      November 18, 2013 at 10:53 pm #

      Evidently the fundamentalists forget about poor Rachel in Genesis. Died giving birth to her second child. Her husband never got over it. And come to think of it, there are at least three notable women in the Bible that had fertility problems and only managed one child each.

    • Pillabi
      November 19, 2013 at 9:09 am #

      I am Catholic and I don’t know what it’s like in the US, but in Italy the NCB movement has little or nothing to do with Catholicism, it seems much more sort of a new pagan religion. They believe in Nature and in these supposed superpowers every real Mother has. Jesus has nothing to do with it…

      • VeritasLiberat
        November 19, 2013 at 9:46 pm #

        I’m in the NYC area and the NCB types I am familiar with are all Goddess Womyn types who celebrate the solstice…

  19. Josephine
    November 18, 2013 at 12:04 pm #

    Well, I know I’m now convinced. Let me go call up my local CPM immediately. I have to get going if I’m going to reserve my blow-up pool for the living room in time.

  20. Zornorph
    November 18, 2013 at 12:00 pm #

    Actually, the first woomon, Lilith, was perfect and would never have had any of those problems, but Adam, being the selfish male that he was, rejected her because she had a mind of her own. And God, also being male, agreed that she was a mistake and instead designed the inferior and submissive Eve from his rib. And of course, stupid woomon was tempted by the penis-snake that slithered into the garden into eating the fruit, thereafter blowing it for all womyn on the Earth.

    However, if you go totally natural, you can regain the perfection of Lilith and your super-powered vagina can once again birth perfectly. If you just believe and follow your mama wisdom.

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.