Thanks goodness for natural childbirth and homebirth advocates. They’ve rediscovered what our ancient ancestors knew all along: women’s bodies are perfectly designed to give birth!
[pullquote align=”right” cite=”” link=”” color=”#8B2626″ class=”” size=””]Trust birth![/pullquote]
How did they figure it out? They looked at basic facts about childbirth.
Consider:
There is no infertility.
No baby ever dies in childbirth.
No mother ever dies in childbirth.
There are no premature babies.
There are no stillbirths.
There are no miscarriages.
No babies are breech.
No babies are transverse.
There are no twins, triplets or higher order multiples.
No babies are ever too big to fit through the birth canal.
No babies are ever deprived of oxygen during labor.
No babies fail to breathe when they are born.
No babies ever get an infection during labor.
The umbilical cord never prolapses.
The placenta never abrupts.
The placenta never grows over the opening of the cervix.
The placenta is never retained.
The uterus never gets infected.
There is no Rh incompatibility.
There are no birth defects.
No woman ever develops eclampsia.
There is no postpartum hemorrhage.
There are no vaginal tears.
There are no vaginal fistulas.
There is no incontinence after birth.
There is always enough breastmilk.
No breastfed baby ever gets sick.
No breastfed baby ever dies.
No nursing mother ever dies.
So there you have it. Add it all up and it is obvious that women’s bodies are perfectly designed to give birth. That’s why the key to perfection is simply to “trust birth.”
Natural childbirth and homebirth advocates know this; how can those foolish obstetricians think otherwise?
This piece first appeared in November 2013.
http://m.huffpost.com/uk/entry/8231566.html?edition=uk
Who wants to play Mystery Diagnosis? LOL
A dear friend is a special education teacher, elementary. She’s actually the best teacher ever, but I may be bias and that’s not relevant anyway.
She has been working with this one boy – crazy intensely – for three years now. The boy has been held back in first grade twice. So, he’s 8-years-old, but in the first grade. After three years in grade school, and two years at the same grade level, he functions as a beginning of kindergarten level, and *that* has been an incredible struggle. My friend has never quite been able to figure it out. The parents are very lax about obtaining a proper diagnosis, which makes my friend’s job harder (advocating for services), while perplexing her. Though the psychiatric evaluations have shown nothing wrong with him. In desperation, she has taken to some independent research. He cannot retain information. Just one day away from school will cause him to lose nearly everything he has learned. He will “space out” for several minutes (eyes open but glossed over, totally unresponsive) in what my friend swears are small seizures, but tests say no. In short, in 15+ years she has never seen a kid with such a short-term memory problem and she’s losing hope for him.
Here’s the fascinating part, and I’m not sure what it means: the boy’s mother shares the other day his birth story. He was breech. But because mom had the older sibling via cesarean she, “wanted to experience a vaginal birth,” so she denied a repeat cesarean for breech presentation. I guess she was in labor for a long time, with him breech, when during labor the doctor, “put his arm inside of her, up to his elbow, and ‘turned’ the baby.” The baby was born a short time after that “turning.”
I have never heard of such a thing. Is this a procedure? My friend has always been convinced that the kid was deprived oxygen at birth, and his mom sharing this story now has her more convinced.
Could a botched breech delivery lead to oxygen deprivation and resulting profound cognitive disability (he has some mild physical disabilities as well)?
The short answer is yes. The longer answer is that that is not necessarily what is going on and he needs a proper evaluation, including a neurological evaluation. I wonder if he doesn’t have hippocampal damage, if he’s having memory issues.
I wonder if his parents are delaying having a thorough evaluation because they suspect his troubles are related to oxygen deprivation at birth and don’t want to face the idea that the mom’s choices were, in hindsight, bad ones.
Or maybe they’re the kind of parents who are distrustful of psychiatry.
Could be. Or they may just be kind of disorganized and overwhelmed with other things. Though if it were my kid still in first grade at age 8 I’d be worried enough to make it a priority.
OT: Update on the newest little guy
A premature surgical birth. Surgery of his own his first day of life to correct a life threatening defect. A month and a half NICU stay. His momma didn’t trust shit … that’s why he finally made it home today!!
Congratulations!
Glad he’s safe and home.
Congratulations! Glad newest one is home and safe!
Awwww,,,,precious.
Reading some patient notes, I came across an extremely high risk and ballsy way of getting an MRCS at 37weeks.
Present at 37weeks reporting PPROM.
Refuse VEs.
Agree to oxytocin after 48hrs.
Refuse any dose increases.
After contractions haven’t started after 24hrs, refuse a VE, refuse further oxytocin, request CS.
At CS, copious liquor is discovered!
Patient tells everyone she had 3days of labour and “had” to have a CS because nothing was happening.
oh my…
OT: In France, midwives (who, btw, are trained and certified nurse-midwives) will now be able to deliver emergency contraception and administer vaccines “to babies and their mothers according to the vaccine schedule”. I think it’s a clever move to enlist midwives in the promotion of vaccines. The crunchy families who distrust doctors and turn to midwives for the birth of their babies will now have someone they trust tell them: “And now for junior’s vaccines – btw, ma’am, where are you with yours?”
I wonder if that’s why our local uptake is so good despite it being a very crunchy baby wearing natural birth pursuing vbac pushing breast feeding until self weaning crowd. All our vaccinations are done by the Health Visitors not evil Doctors.
(Talking of evil Doctors, I can have a GA along as I attend a “Birth Options” meeting at around 30 weeks to discuss “ALL” options. Thinking this is mostly a win because A. I accept that I may change my mind and B. I’ve got it in writing if I don’t.)
Hooray! Good for you for sticking to your guns and pushing for your best interests!
That is great news, and I’m sure it is a load off your mind.
I’ll offer both my congrats and a standard-puzzled-American question: what’s a GA? General attorney? General anesthetist? (It’s amazing how Americans and Brits speak the same language, yet it can come across so differently…)
General anaesthetic I think (as opposed to a spinal anaesthetic for a c section)
Great news Erin, sorry you’ve had to fight so hard for it.
Woot!!
That is something.
If all else fails, in writing:
“I understand you are concerned and are recommending an epidural but to me the risks of your preferred treatment option are unacceptable and my preference is for GA as I find the higher risks of X, Yand Z are worth the benefit of A and B and the avoidance of C. Informed consent requires you to consider that my views on risk/benefit profile will be affected by my life experiences, and may be different to yours. If you truly wish to respect me as an individual with autonomy and provide holistic care, your should be willing to accept that my treatment preference may not be the same as yours”.
Well done. Sit nicely during the meeting. Lots of ‘I’ messages, as Dr Kitty proposes in writing below.
OT, but I need somewhere to vent: My parents are getting fined on their taxes because they are claiming me as a dependent and I don’t have insurance. I am a dependent and uninsured because I am unemployed and living in their house. I am unemployed and living in their house because I have Asperger’s and anxiety attacks that make it very very hard for me to hold a job. And because getting help with a disability is such an insane morass of red tape and rejection, I’ve been turned down for income assistance and have to try Vocational Rehabilitation Services. The same agency which I was working with as a teen until they suddenly stopped contacting us.
Hugs. That sounds like an all around crappy situation. Can your parents afford to hire a tax lawyer to try to get the fines removed?
The lawyer would probably cost more than the fines. AS it stands, the rebate for having a dependent is slightly more than the fines for 2015’s returns, but something will need to be done before next year. I really hope Voc Rehab can help since SSI fell through.
God, that sucks all around. I hope something will be done soon enough.
And you’re welcome to vent.
Thank you, and thanks to BeatriceC, since I forgot to say it earlier.
Did you go through all the appeals on SSI? It took two years, but my oldest son was just approved (I needed the medicaid that came along with it far more than the money, which I didn’t qualify for much of anyway). They certainly don’t make it easy.
I went through all the appeals on that application, yes. Apparently I can try again, which I will do if Voc Rehab doesn’t work out.
Ick. I’m sorry. Hopefully Voc Rehab will work out.
Aagh red tape! I’m sorry you’re all going through that.
That sucks. My cousin, who has 2 disabled children, is having to deal with similar stuff. As in “uh, no. My wheelchair-bound, mental age of 3 yrs daughter cannot get a job at age 22, and yes I am her legal guardian”. (Lather, rinse, repeat for the 21 year old daughter…).
Getting SSI, legal guardianship, Medicaid, etc has been an on-going battle for her (somehow, several government agencies don’t think her children are disabled). My sympathies to you and your parents, and I wish for all to do well.
OT: Sorry for not being around much. It seems I’ve missed some exciting announcements! MrC is out of town and I’m cleaning the entire house somewhat out of retaliation. It’s a long story, but let’s just say he’s a borderline hoarder and the junk piles make it practically impossible for me to keep up with the day to day stuff, plus contributes to my depression issues (if my environment is in chaos, I’m in chaos). Then he gets mad that the day to day stuff isn’t done. So I’m cleaning all approximately 4500 square feet of the house. It’s been a massive job, but it’s almost done. I’ve found features of the house I didn’t even know existed because they were buried under massive piles of junk and dust. I can now take pictures inside my house without carefully framing out the junk-filled parts. I’m not quite done, but close. I feel so much better. He’s going to freak out, but I didn’t get rid of anything, just organized, packed neatly and stored safely, so he’ll get over it.
My wife isn’t a horder (I’m more of a packrat than her), but she doesn’t like to do indoor chores and dislikes it if I try to clean when she’s relaxing, so when she works on a day I have off, I normally spend half the time cleaning.
I wish I’d taken more “before” pictures of this house. I have a few from when I moved in two years ago, but none of the master bedroom, and that was one of the biggest projects. I’ve had a few friends suggest I make a business out of hoarding/estate clean ups, because in actually really good at this sort of thing. Having before and after pictures of this house would be a great way to start a portfolio. I don’t do the best job at day to day stuff even under the best circumstance, but this sort of disaster clean up I can do quite well.
But I’m apparently not very good at typing on my phone. I just noticed at least one huge autocorrect induced typo.
I do that with photos too. One day I was shoving things from corner to corner as I was taking pictures all around a particular room. I am not a hoarder but I am working on being a pack rat.
Yeah, he’s basically a hoarder who gets away with it to an extent because his house is so huge. I can kind of understand how the house got the way it was. He bought it in late 1994, then his wife passed away in early 1998, leaving him to manage as a single father of teen twin girls while also working an 80hr/wk job. He had too much on his plate and just didn’t deal with her stuff or really anything but the critical repairs and bathroom/kitchen cleaning. The girls moved out just a few years later, leaving him alone in this giant house. With the exception of a couple years in the middle where he had another girlfriend living here (just her, as her kids were grown), he’s been all alone in this giant house. He just got blind to the stuff that was building up in all the rooms but the kitchen and informal dining room, which he also used as an office and a place to keep the birds, but then became blind to the piles of stuff that built up in there and in his bedroom. When I moved in most of the house was inhabitable. I got one bedroom cleared out right away, plus mostly dealt with the main floor (kitchen, living room, entry way, both dining rooms), and then slowly started working on the other bedrooms and the rest of the house. I left some things alone because I didn’t want to upset him, but this week I just sort of lost it. If he wants to yell at me for not keeping the house clean, then I need it in a condition where I can keep it clean. I can’t manage around piles of stuff. So I cleaned it. All of it. Including the parts I refused to touch before. And where I previously wouldn’t move furniture around (he handles change badly), this time I did. I didn’t get rid of anything (though I would like to), but everything, including his late wife’s clothing (which obscured the fact that there’s a built in vanity in the master bedroom, as they were piled on top of that to the ceiling and covered in inches of dust), is now packed neatly in boxes and stored safely in closets. So an example of what things were like and what they look like now. This is the living room now. It’s actually two separate spaces. In the foreground you can’t really see, but there’s a piano on the right and a chair, music stand, guitars, viola, violin, banjo and amps on the left. Closer to the entry there’s a little audience area. The far side of the room is the typical sofas and TV, along with my puzzle table. (I’ll put the “before” picture in a different comment).
[URL=http://s301.photobucket.com/user/mmsw1/media/Mobile%20Uploads/IMG_1987_zps8g6ojz6p.jpg.html][IMG]http://i301.photobucket.com/albums/nn67/mmsw1/Mobile%20Uploads/IMG_1987_zps8g6ojz6p.jpg[/IMG][/URL]
And here’s what it looked like when I moved in (this was not even the worst room, but the only room I have halfway decent pictures of both before and after):
[URL=http://s301.photobucket.com/user/mmsw1/media/Mobile%20Uploads/IMG_2002_zpscb1jna6d.jpg.html][IMG]http://i301.photobucket.com/albums/nn67/mmsw1/Mobile%20Uploads/IMG_2002_zpscb1jna6d.jpg[/IMG][/URL]
Great job!
I wish I could do something like that in my parent’s house, they are not hoarders as in unable to part with their stuff, but rather not capable of keeping up with organizing and cleaning. So there is always one room in house which is used for storing things that nobody will use ever again, but “just in case!!!!”, also some sentimental stuff (like decorations from my wedding). That room would be a project for a day or two, but with baby I can’t get to it.
Thanks! I’ve play d around with the idea of turning this sort of thing into a business. I’m maybe not the greatest at everyday housekeeping, but I’m really good at turning a disaster into a nice living space. And this sort of skill would be good not just for a hoarding clean up, but for people who are moving after a couple decades in a house, moving an elderly person into assisted living, or post tenant clean up, and other things of that nature. My parents had a bunch of rental houses and we kids were expected to help with the business. You’d be shocked how some people leave the houses when they move out. Plus they had 27 houses at the time of hurricane Andrew, all of which were completely destroyed. And I’ve helped rwo friends clean up hoards when they were threatened with eviction if they didn’t get it under control (two separate instances). I actually enjoy the work, but I have no clue how to make a business out of it.
I wish I could hire you!
And that’s exactly why I say there has to be a market and I just have to figure out how to go about finding it. Every time I mention this, a handful of people always say something like what you said or “I wish you were closer”, or something of that nature. I am so not a business person though. Maybe I should start finding resources to teach myself how to get a small business off the ground.
My concern is that people won’t want to pay-especially for you to divest them of their stuff. And you’ll end up in fights with them around what you’re doing, what they think they ask for, what they can cope with when they start etc.
The ‘starting a small business’ stuff is very interesting, but as someone who has just closed one, be very mindful of those who want to sell you something. Everyone does. Unscrupulous ‘colleagues’ made the whole thing quite unpleasant, from my perspective.
You could be the Marie Kondo of California!
Yup, those are all concerns, which is part of why I haven’t done anything about my thoughts. But one of the things I’m most proud of with this house is I managed to turn it from what it was to a really nice looking home without actually getting rid of anything. I’m pretty impressed with myself on that count. Of course a house that was hoarded much more severely wouldn’t be possible to do that with, but it’s a selling point on smaller problems.
I reckon families with young kids. The chaos wouldn’t be too deep, they’d be super grateful afterwards, and you’d be in and out pretty quickly. Cleaners get squicky about tidying, but if you could come in and help them get tidy and organised, they’d love it.
There is definitely a market for this! I’ve hired such a person myself. Make a web page, decide how to price things (hourly or flat rate–don’t do flat rate unless you’re good at estimating how long things take), start getting word of mouth… You might want to let local psychologists know of your services, because therapy is where a lot of people spend time saying, “My house is so chaotic and I’m so depressed” or “I’m a neat freak, my husband is a slob, this has to change or I don’t know any way out besides divorce.”
I also think a lot of people look at a mess that’s gotten out of control and just get overwhelmed even trying to think of a place to start. I’m really good at assessing a mess and creating a plan to clean and organize.
I’m really good at assessing a mess and creating a plan to clean and organize.
That is a rare skill. The woman we hired charged something like $40/hour. It’s a good gig.
It looks great! It is wonderful to accomplish things like that; I’m still dealing with unpacking from our water leak episode downstairs, but downstairs looks so much better than it did prior to the leak. There are still some boxes (stacked neatly along our long wall) that need to be dealt with, but if I do a box a week and consolidate as I unpack, it will be done soon.
It is strangely exhilarating, freeing and energizing to do this sort of thing.
Good Job, You!
I get it completely. My grandma was a bonafide hoarder to the extent that I would not let my kids off of my lap and made my daughter pee in a pull up in order to avoid the bathroom. My parents are clean but have a lot of junk as well. We are not looking forward to cleaning out their house when they move. I am working hard on getting rid of stuff. It is so hard though.
Wow! I can’t help feeling I’ve been invited into the world of a real life gothic novel! (In a good way :))
I hope his response is okay. It will be hard for him to see the changes you’ve made.
I’m surrounded by people who are somewhat comforted by their ‘collections’: the reaction to me sorting them out seems to depend very much on where they are in their own heads when they notice it.
It must be very satisfying-what a lovely room you’ve uncovered in the photo below!
I’ve been sending him pictures as I’ve worked. Academically, he’s happy. How he adjusts is another matter entirely. I think long term he will actually be happier, but short term there will probably be some tension. And thanks! Similar transformations have been made all over the house. I’m insanely happy with it.
Keeping him updated is a great idea. I agree the longterm will be good-esp if you are able, when he asks for some random object, to point to where it is now safely stored.
There was tension anyway-yours-you’re just sharing it around. And sharing is good, right?
Huzzah! That’s a real chore. And yeah, I don’t do well with clutter and disorder, either. The fact that I have boxes and clutter all over the house right now as I prepare for remodeling of the kitchen and Child #2 to move back in while she goes back for an RN degree is bugging me.
Yeah, it’s been a huge job. It doesn’t help that the house is so big, and there’s a bit of history here that helped get it to the shape it was in. I did some stuff when I moved in, but never really got it completely finished. Now it’s to a point where I’m happy. I will slowly start approaching the idea of getting rid of stuff in a few months, which will make things even better. There’s still some corners and closets that have a lot of junk in them, but it’s now a contained mess instead of all over the house.
On the news in Germany:
A midwife who attended the homebirth of a breach baby was sentenced to 6 years and 9 months of prison, and to pay €50.000in damages to the parents.
Why? Because the baby died and the midwife was found to having downplayed the risks of a breach vaginal birth, also by advising the parents to have a homebirth she violated the medical standard which is to be used in such cases (= birth in a hospital setting).
http://www.faz.net/aktuell/gesellschaft/kriminalitaet/riskante-hausgeburt-haftstrafe-fuer-hebamme-nach-tod-eines-saeuglings-14280223.html
I tried to find an English version of the story. “Anita R” possibly is Anna Rockel-Loenhoff which ‘Sisters In Chains’ describes as “Facing criminal sanction for supporting mothers in vaginal breech birth when the state only offers them cesarean section.”
http://www.sistersinchains.org/our-sisters-in-chains.html
Yeah, sounds like it. And of course they don’t even mention that a baby died because of the “support” given by this midwife.
And it’s not even true that cesarean section is the only option in Germany for mothers whose baby is breech. Many hospitals offer vaginal breech birth if they assess the situation as low risk (that can include an MRT to see whether the baby would fit through in this position).
So it’s all bullshit what they write there. Of course.
Interestingly, the article states that she is a (medical) doctor too. I don’t know what to make of that. There’s no further detail.
OT: Little miss is home! And her brother seemed pleased, ‘though I don’t know if he will be when he realizes she’s a permanent tenant, lol.
demodocus “brother seemed pleased, ‘though I don’t know if he will be when he realizes she’s a permanent tenant”
Tip from a mom of 2: have him help with baby care. E.g., ask him to hand you (or spouse) the diapers when she needs changing. Sure, it takes longer, but it decreases resentment since they both get attention.
Thank you. We were actually thinking about doing this sort of thing, but it was only the first diaper change.
I wish you luck in keeping them together permanently! Just in case he has a hard transition, remember this: soon, he won’t even remember that there was ever a time without her here. And he certainly won’t believe you when you tell him that yes, there was.
lol, DH and I are both 1sts, too, we know that score!
I completely agree with Box of Salt. The more he can “help” (even if it makes more work for you), the better he’s likely to be. That’s been my experience with my kids and my friends have all reported the same thing.
I have the same concerns about bringing home the one I’m expecting. My son LOVES babies but I don’t know how he will feel when he or she never leaves. Good luck and God bless!
Get him a baby of his own to take care of. We did that when we had our second, and our older guy still holds his baby in a special place.
Kerry has 2 babies of his own, because he stole my old doll as soon as he could crawl.
Luckily, my kids all adored their younger siblings (I think because toys showed up and baby wasn’t playing with them yet). But I apparently ask my mother to take my younger sibling back to the hospital and/or throw her in the trash!
Congrats! How did I miss her arrival??? I haven’t been good at checking in here everyday, so I’m sorry I missed it. I’m glad she’s home and that big brother seems to like her so far.
Congrats, congrats, congrats! Enjoy those newborn snuggles, and get yourself some rest (well, as much as you can with a newborn…).
I think the most helpful thing we did with the oldest was couching everything as “we” and “you” i.e. “We have a new baby in our family” and “You are now a big brother” etc. We made a huge deal of out how special being a big brother was and how helpful he was, etc. 2.5 years later they are the best of friends and when she falls he is the first to run over and hug her. 🙂
If the human body were designed to give birth, wouldn’t being pregnant be far more comfortable? Even when everything does go the way it’s supposed to, there’s a whole lot of sucky parts.
If the human body was perfectly designed to give birth, then trusting birth is not needed. Something perfect will work 100% of the time regardless of whether you trust it or not.
Unless you also believe in that “Law of Attraction” or similar. Woo travels in packs, you know.
Yea, but by definition, something that is affected by your emotions cannot be perfect. You can’t have it both way.
I know it’s clickbait, but George Takei shared this, and I thought some people here might enjoy it, as a few on the list are about crunchy people:
http://www.pref.com/a/jaw/23-of-the-funniest-things-people-have-said-during-childbirth-happy-birthday
But see, ALL of those are just because of poor nutrition which is why they used to be so common and why so many women still have them. But a well-nourished, vaccine free, modern woman who eats all Organic/nonGMO/Gluten-free/Sugar-free/only-good-fats/chakra-aligned/picked-naked-under-the-full-moon/regularly-acupunctured food will do JUST fine.
But if she is so selfish that she eats a conventionally grown apple during her pregnancy, well then, she brought on her own complications.
I’d give good money to hear their suggestions on how even the best nutrition could change my rhesus negative status (never been an issue before but boy is it a pain up the wazoo now I’m pregnant) – or should I just chant affirmations at my veins and hope for the best (anti-D is synthetic after all)?
It’s all YOUR fault that you didn’t pick an Rh negative man to be your spouse!
Nah, it’s because she’s too negative. If she was more positive about life, her Rh would also be positive.
I thought we Rh negative people were descended from the alien reptilian overlords/Merovingian/Illuminati? What’s not to like? Although my financial share of world domination is awfully late…
Mine too! Although the crunchies around me tell me it means I’m descended from spiritual neolithic hunter gatherers as opposed to those materialistic rhesus positives who are descended from the farmers who came in from the fertile crescent (whose descendants might not include me but presumably do include both of my rhesus positive parents so I’m not sure how that works).
I definitely saw at least one blogpost when I was pregnant which claimed that you can change your rhesus status through diet/ detox. I can’t remember for the life of me where I saw it but it was probably one of the usual suspects.
Here’s Tinkerbelle’s regimen for you, in part … faith, prayer, distilled water, and periwinkle.
http://hubpages.com/health/Natural-Birth-and-the-Rh-Negative-Mother
Oh Lordy now I’ve heard everything – I count anti-vax, herbal (interestingly her regime containes at least 3 potential abortofacient herbs that I know of), detox, raw food, organic, anti GMO and anti-fluoridisation woo all in one article (I’m deliberately not commenting on the biblical bit). Is this woman after some sort of deranged bingo?
Thanks for the giggle!
My pleasure 🙂 Reading it felt like a mental mouth full of my MIL’s Christmas fruitcake.
That made me so angry. I am an Rh-positive child who would have been stillborn without treatment (Mom was sensitized from my brother). I am so glad God was kind to her children after she endangered them like that.
There’s an addendum to the natural birth philosophy which claims
that while those things can happen, they are so very very rare – that they aren’t going to happen to you! Take our word for it!
Later, when one of those not-so-rare-after-all things happens,
and tragedy results – that’s life! There’s nothing that could have or should
have been done about it. Accept your tragedy (as we accept it – because it doesn’t affect us, and we don’t actually give a damn).
Excuse me, but I’d rather have a healthy baby and survive
childbirth myself than follow that philosophy.
Man, we could save so much money on the farm if we printed this list off, read it to the cows and stopped doing any management of bovine pregnancies……
But the heap of dead cows and calves….. *shudders*
*sh….udders*
(sorry)
Dealing with secondary infertility. Magically got pregnant. Lost it quickly.
I want to slap anyone who tries to tell me what my body is supposed to do. I know what it was “supposed” to do but in reality my baby died. Can these people not comprehend how painful their message is to people like me?
I am so sorry for your loss. Infertility followed by miscarriage is heartbreaking.
So sorry for your loss. So many people don’t know what to say when you’ve lost a baby, so try not to let thoughtless remarks stay with you. I found the most comforting people were the ones who had also had miscarriages. Only they understood the pain and the broken promise.
I was extremely fortunate when I miscarried last year in that those people around me who didn’t know what to say said exactly that: “I’m really sorry, I don’t know what to say. Is there anything I can do to help?” Which might not be Deep or Meaningful or whatever, but y’know, I’ll take “I want to help but don’t know how and I’m sorry you’re hurting” ANY DAY over what anh (or so many other loss moms) have heard.
I’m so sorry. I definitely hear you. I’m infertile too.
I am so very sorry. 🙁
But those things only happen when you’re tense and your sphincters don’t relax!!