Women are perfectly designed to give birth — NOT!


Thanks goodness for natural childbirth and homebirth advocates. They’ve rediscovered what our ancient ancestors knew all along: women’s bodies are perfectly designed to give birth!

[pullquote align=”right” cite=”” link=”” color=”#8B2626″ class=”” size=””]Trust birth![/pullquote]

How did they figure it out? They looked at basic facts about childbirth.


There is no infertility.

No baby ever dies in childbirth.

No mother ever dies in childbirth.

There are no premature babies.

There are no stillbirths.

There are no miscarriages.

No babies are breech.

No babies are transverse.

There are no twins, triplets or higher order multiples.

No babies are ever too big to fit through the birth canal.

No babies are ever deprived of oxygen during labor.

No babies fail to breathe when they are born.

No babies ever get an infection during labor.

The umbilical cord never prolapses.

The placenta never abrupts.

The placenta never grows over the opening of the cervix.

The placenta is never retained.

The uterus never gets infected.

There is no Rh incompatibility.

There are no birth defects.

No woman ever develops eclampsia.

There is no postpartum hemorrhage.

There are no vaginal tears.

There are no vaginal fistulas.

There is no incontinence after birth.

There is always enough breastmilk.

No breastfed baby ever gets sick.

No breastfed baby ever dies.

No nursing mother ever dies.

So there you have it. Add it all up and it is obvious that women’s bodies are perfectly designed to give birth. That’s why the key to perfection is simply to “trust birth.”

Natural childbirth and homebirth advocates know this; how can those foolish obstetricians think otherwise?

This piece first appeared in November 2013.

97 Responses to “Women are perfectly designed to give birth — NOT!”

  1. CSN0116
    June 14, 2016 at 7:55 am #

    Who wants to play Mystery Diagnosis? LOL

    A dear friend is a special education teacher, elementary. She’s actually the best teacher ever, but I may be bias and that’s not relevant anyway.

    She has been working with this one boy – crazy intensely – for three years now. The boy has been held back in first grade twice. So, he’s 8-years-old, but in the first grade. After three years in grade school, and two years at the same grade level, he functions as a beginning of kindergarten level, and *that* has been an incredible struggle. My friend has never quite been able to figure it out. The parents are very lax about obtaining a proper diagnosis, which makes my friend’s job harder (advocating for services), while perplexing her. Though the psychiatric evaluations have shown nothing wrong with him. In desperation, she has taken to some independent research. He cannot retain information. Just one day away from school will cause him to lose nearly everything he has learned. He will “space out” for several minutes (eyes open but glossed over, totally unresponsive) in what my friend swears are small seizures, but tests say no. In short, in 15+ years she has never seen a kid with such a short-term memory problem and she’s losing hope for him.

    Here’s the fascinating part, and I’m not sure what it means: the boy’s mother shares the other day his birth story. He was breech. But because mom had the older sibling via cesarean she, “wanted to experience a vaginal birth,” so she denied a repeat cesarean for breech presentation. I guess she was in labor for a long time, with him breech, when during labor the doctor, “put his arm inside of her, up to his elbow, and ‘turned’ the baby.” The baby was born a short time after that “turning.”

    I have never heard of such a thing. Is this a procedure? My friend has always been convinced that the kid was deprived oxygen at birth, and his mom sharing this story now has her more convinced.

    Could a botched breech delivery lead to oxygen deprivation and resulting profound cognitive disability (he has some mild physical disabilities as well)?

    • The Computer Ate My Nym
      June 14, 2016 at 8:20 am #

      The short answer is yes. The longer answer is that that is not necessarily what is going on and he needs a proper evaluation, including a neurological evaluation. I wonder if he doesn’t have hippocampal damage, if he’s having memory issues.

      • Irène Delse
        June 14, 2016 at 9:04 am #

        I wonder if his parents are delaying having a thorough evaluation because they suspect his troubles are related to oxygen deprivation at birth and don’t want to face the idea that the mom’s choices were, in hindsight, bad ones.

        Or maybe they’re the kind of parents who are distrustful of psychiatry.

        • The Computer Ate My Nym
          June 14, 2016 at 9:44 am #

          Could be. Or they may just be kind of disorganized and overwhelmed with other things. Though if it were my kid still in first grade at age 8 I’d be worried enough to make it a priority.

  2. D/
    June 13, 2016 at 10:24 pm #

    OT: Update on the newest little guy

    A premature surgical birth. Surgery of his own his first day of life to correct a life threatening defect. A month and a half NICU stay. His momma didn’t trust shit … that’s why he finally made it home today!!

  3. Dr Kitty
    June 12, 2016 at 3:25 pm #

    Reading some patient notes, I came across an extremely high risk and ballsy way of getting an MRCS at 37weeks.

    Present at 37weeks reporting PPROM.
    Refuse VEs.
    Agree to oxytocin after 48hrs.
    Refuse any dose increases.
    After contractions haven’t started after 24hrs, refuse a VE, refuse further oxytocin, request CS.

    At CS, copious liquor is discovered!

    Patient tells everyone she had 3days of labour and “had” to have a CS because nothing was happening.

  4. Irène Delse
    June 12, 2016 at 10:11 am #

    OT: In France, midwives (who, btw, are trained and certified nurse-midwives) will now be able to deliver emergency contraception and administer vaccines “to babies and their mothers according to the vaccine schedule”. I think it’s a clever move to enlist midwives in the promotion of vaccines. The crunchy families who distrust doctors and turn to midwives for the birth of their babies will now have someone they trust tell them: “And now for junior’s vaccines – btw, ma’am, where are you with yours?”

    • Erin
      June 12, 2016 at 1:07 pm #

      I wonder if that’s why our local uptake is so good despite it being a very crunchy baby wearing natural birth pursuing vbac pushing breast feeding until self weaning crowd. All our vaccinations are done by the Health Visitors not evil Doctors.

      (Talking of evil Doctors, I can have a GA along as I attend a “Birth Options” meeting at around 30 weeks to discuss “ALL” options. Thinking this is mostly a win because A. I accept that I may change my mind and B. I’ve got it in writing if I don’t.)

      • Charybdis
        June 12, 2016 at 1:26 pm #

        Hooray! Good for you for sticking to your guns and pushing for your best interests!

        That is great news, and I’m sure it is a load off your mind.

      • KeeperOfTheBooks
        June 12, 2016 at 2:45 pm #

        I’ll offer both my congrats and a standard-puzzled-American question: what’s a GA? General attorney? General anesthetist? (It’s amazing how Americans and Brits speak the same language, yet it can come across so differently…)

        • Monkey Professor for a Head
          June 12, 2016 at 2:58 pm #

          General anaesthetic I think (as opposed to a spinal anaesthetic for a c section)

          Great news Erin, sorry you’ve had to fight so hard for it.

      • Dr Kitty
        June 12, 2016 at 3:20 pm #

        That is something.

        If all else fails, in writing:

        “I understand you are concerned and are recommending an epidural but to me the risks of your preferred treatment option are unacceptable and my preference is for GA as I find the higher risks of X, Yand Z are worth the benefit of A and B and the avoidance of C. Informed consent requires you to consider that my views on risk/benefit profile will be affected by my life experiences, and may be different to yours. If you truly wish to respect me as an individual with autonomy and provide holistic care, your should be willing to accept that my treatment preference may not be the same as yours”.

      • Who?
        June 12, 2016 at 6:50 pm #

        Well done. Sit nicely during the meeting. Lots of ‘I’ messages, as Dr Kitty proposes in writing below.

  5. Nick Sanders
    June 11, 2016 at 3:14 pm #

    OT, but I need somewhere to vent: My parents are getting fined on their taxes because they are claiming me as a dependent and I don’t have insurance. I am a dependent and uninsured because I am unemployed and living in their house. I am unemployed and living in their house because I have Asperger’s and anxiety attacks that make it very very hard for me to hold a job. And because getting help with a disability is such an insane morass of red tape and rejection, I’ve been turned down for income assistance and have to try Vocational Rehabilitation Services. The same agency which I was working with as a teen until they suddenly stopped contacting us.

    • BeatriceC
      June 11, 2016 at 3:27 pm #

      Hugs. That sounds like an all around crappy situation. Can your parents afford to hire a tax lawyer to try to get the fines removed?

      • Nick Sanders
        June 11, 2016 at 5:39 pm #

        The lawyer would probably cost more than the fines. AS it stands, the rebate for having a dependent is slightly more than the fines for 2015’s returns, but something will need to be done before next year. I really hope Voc Rehab can help since SSI fell through.

        • Amazed
          June 11, 2016 at 5:50 pm #

          God, that sucks all around. I hope something will be done soon enough.
          And you’re welcome to vent.

          • Nick Sanders
            June 11, 2016 at 6:06 pm #

            Thank you, and thanks to BeatriceC, since I forgot to say it earlier.

        • BeatriceC
          June 11, 2016 at 7:12 pm #

          Did you go through all the appeals on SSI? It took two years, but my oldest son was just approved (I needed the medicaid that came along with it far more than the money, which I didn’t qualify for much of anyway). They certainly don’t make it easy.

          • Nick Sanders
            June 11, 2016 at 8:52 pm #

            I went through all the appeals on that application, yes. Apparently I can try again, which I will do if Voc Rehab doesn’t work out.

          • BeatriceC
            June 11, 2016 at 11:51 pm #

            Ick. I’m sorry. Hopefully Voc Rehab will work out.

    • Who?
      June 11, 2016 at 11:40 pm #

      Aagh red tape! I’m sorry you’re all going through that.

    • MI Dawn
      June 13, 2016 at 9:58 am #

      That sucks. My cousin, who has 2 disabled children, is having to deal with similar stuff. As in “uh, no. My wheelchair-bound, mental age of 3 yrs daughter cannot get a job at age 22, and yes I am her legal guardian”. (Lather, rinse, repeat for the 21 year old daughter…).

      Getting SSI, legal guardianship, Medicaid, etc has been an on-going battle for her (somehow, several government agencies don’t think her children are disabled). My sympathies to you and your parents, and I wish for all to do well.

  6. BeatriceC
    June 11, 2016 at 2:24 pm #

    OT: Sorry for not being around much. It seems I’ve missed some exciting announcements! MrC is out of town and I’m cleaning the entire house somewhat out of retaliation. It’s a long story, but let’s just say he’s a borderline hoarder and the junk piles make it practically impossible for me to keep up with the day to day stuff, plus contributes to my depression issues (if my environment is in chaos, I’m in chaos). Then he gets mad that the day to day stuff isn’t done. So I’m cleaning all approximately 4500 square feet of the house. It’s been a massive job, but it’s almost done. I’ve found features of the house I didn’t even know existed because they were buried under massive piles of junk and dust. I can now take pictures inside my house without carefully framing out the junk-filled parts. I’m not quite done, but close. I feel so much better. He’s going to freak out, but I didn’t get rid of anything, just organized, packed neatly and stored safely, so he’ll get over it.

    • RMY
      June 11, 2016 at 2:54 pm #

      My wife isn’t a horder (I’m more of a packrat than her), but she doesn’t like to do indoor chores and dislikes it if I try to clean when she’s relaxing, so when she works on a day I have off, I normally spend half the time cleaning.

      • BeatriceC
        June 11, 2016 at 3:30 pm #

        I wish I’d taken more “before” pictures of this house. I have a few from when I moved in two years ago, but none of the master bedroom, and that was one of the biggest projects. I’ve had a few friends suggest I make a business out of hoarding/estate clean ups, because in actually really good at this sort of thing. Having before and after pictures of this house would be a great way to start a portfolio. I don’t do the best job at day to day stuff even under the best circumstance, but this sort of disaster clean up I can do quite well.

        • BeatriceC
          June 11, 2016 at 3:47 pm #

          But I’m apparently not very good at typing on my phone. I just noticed at least one huge autocorrect induced typo.

    • Kelly
      June 11, 2016 at 10:01 pm #

      I do that with photos too. One day I was shoving things from corner to corner as I was taking pictures all around a particular room. I am not a hoarder but I am working on being a pack rat.

      • BeatriceC
        June 11, 2016 at 11:23 pm #

        Yeah, he’s basically a hoarder who gets away with it to an extent because his house is so huge. I can kind of understand how the house got the way it was. He bought it in late 1994, then his wife passed away in early 1998, leaving him to manage as a single father of teen twin girls while also working an 80hr/wk job. He had too much on his plate and just didn’t deal with her stuff or really anything but the critical repairs and bathroom/kitchen cleaning. The girls moved out just a few years later, leaving him alone in this giant house. With the exception of a couple years in the middle where he had another girlfriend living here (just her, as her kids were grown), he’s been all alone in this giant house. He just got blind to the stuff that was building up in all the rooms but the kitchen and informal dining room, which he also used as an office and a place to keep the birds, but then became blind to the piles of stuff that built up in there and in his bedroom. When I moved in most of the house was inhabitable. I got one bedroom cleared out right away, plus mostly dealt with the main floor (kitchen, living room, entry way, both dining rooms), and then slowly started working on the other bedrooms and the rest of the house. I left some things alone because I didn’t want to upset him, but this week I just sort of lost it. If he wants to yell at me for not keeping the house clean, then I need it in a condition where I can keep it clean. I can’t manage around piles of stuff. So I cleaned it. All of it. Including the parts I refused to touch before. And where I previously wouldn’t move furniture around (he handles change badly), this time I did. I didn’t get rid of anything (though I would like to), but everything, including his late wife’s clothing (which obscured the fact that there’s a built in vanity in the master bedroom, as they were piled on top of that to the ceiling and covered in inches of dust), is now packed neatly in boxes and stored safely in closets. So an example of what things were like and what they look like now. This is the living room now. It’s actually two separate spaces. In the foreground you can’t really see, but there’s a piano on the right and a chair, music stand, guitars, viola, violin, banjo and amps on the left. Closer to the entry there’s a little audience area. The far side of the room is the typical sofas and TV, along with my puzzle table. (I’ll put the “before” picture in a different comment).


        • BeatriceC
          June 11, 2016 at 11:23 pm #

          And here’s what it looked like when I moved in (this was not even the worst room, but the only room I have halfway decent pictures of both before and after):


        • Inmara
          June 12, 2016 at 1:19 am #

          Great job!
          I wish I could do something like that in my parent’s house, they are not hoarders as in unable to part with their stuff, but rather not capable of keeping up with organizing and cleaning. So there is always one room in house which is used for storing things that nobody will use ever again, but “just in case!!!!”, also some sentimental stuff (like decorations from my wedding). That room would be a project for a day or two, but with baby I can’t get to it.

          • BeatriceC
            June 12, 2016 at 2:08 am #

            Thanks! I’ve play d around with the idea of turning this sort of thing into a business. I’m maybe not the greatest at everyday housekeeping, but I’m really good at turning a disaster into a nice living space. And this sort of skill would be good not just for a hoarding clean up, but for people who are moving after a couple decades in a house, moving an elderly person into assisted living, or post tenant clean up, and other things of that nature. My parents had a bunch of rental houses and we kids were expected to help with the business. You’d be shocked how some people leave the houses when they move out. Plus they had 27 houses at the time of hurricane Andrew, all of which were completely destroyed. And I’ve helped rwo friends clean up hoards when they were threatened with eviction if they didn’t get it under control (two separate instances). I actually enjoy the work, but I have no clue how to make a business out of it.

          • FormerPhysicist
            June 12, 2016 at 12:07 pm #

            I wish I could hire you!

          • BeatriceC
            June 12, 2016 at 4:23 pm #

            And that’s exactly why I say there has to be a market and I just have to figure out how to go about finding it. Every time I mention this, a handful of people always say something like what you said or “I wish you were closer”, or something of that nature. I am so not a business person though. Maybe I should start finding resources to teach myself how to get a small business off the ground.

          • Who?
            June 12, 2016 at 6:31 pm #

            My concern is that people won’t want to pay-especially for you to divest them of their stuff. And you’ll end up in fights with them around what you’re doing, what they think they ask for, what they can cope with when they start etc.

            The ‘starting a small business’ stuff is very interesting, but as someone who has just closed one, be very mindful of those who want to sell you something. Everyone does. Unscrupulous ‘colleagues’ made the whole thing quite unpleasant, from my perspective.

            You could be the Marie Kondo of California!

          • BeatriceC
            June 12, 2016 at 9:48 pm #

            Yup, those are all concerns, which is part of why I haven’t done anything about my thoughts. But one of the things I’m most proud of with this house is I managed to turn it from what it was to a really nice looking home without actually getting rid of anything. I’m pretty impressed with myself on that count. Of course a house that was hoarded much more severely wouldn’t be possible to do that with, but it’s a selling point on smaller problems.

          • Who?
            June 12, 2016 at 9:59 pm #

            I reckon families with young kids. The chaos wouldn’t be too deep, they’d be super grateful afterwards, and you’d be in and out pretty quickly. Cleaners get squicky about tidying, but if you could come in and help them get tidy and organised, they’d love it.

          • Daleth
            June 13, 2016 at 1:34 pm #

            There is definitely a market for this! I’ve hired such a person myself. Make a web page, decide how to price things (hourly or flat rate–don’t do flat rate unless you’re good at estimating how long things take), start getting word of mouth… You might want to let local psychologists know of your services, because therapy is where a lot of people spend time saying, “My house is so chaotic and I’m so depressed” or “I’m a neat freak, my husband is a slob, this has to change or I don’t know any way out besides divorce.”

          • BeatriceC
            June 13, 2016 at 2:00 pm #

            I also think a lot of people look at a mess that’s gotten out of control and just get overwhelmed even trying to think of a place to start. I’m really good at assessing a mess and creating a plan to clean and organize.

          • Daleth
            June 14, 2016 at 12:53 pm #

            I’m really good at assessing a mess and creating a plan to clean and organize.

            That is a rare skill. The woman we hired charged something like $40/hour. It’s a good gig.

        • Charybdis
          June 12, 2016 at 11:51 am #

          It looks great! It is wonderful to accomplish things like that; I’m still dealing with unpacking from our water leak episode downstairs, but downstairs looks so much better than it did prior to the leak. There are still some boxes (stacked neatly along our long wall) that need to be dealt with, but if I do a box a week and consolidate as I unpack, it will be done soon.

          It is strangely exhilarating, freeing and energizing to do this sort of thing.

          Good Job, You!

        • Kelly
          June 12, 2016 at 6:03 pm #

          I get it completely. My grandma was a bonafide hoarder to the extent that I would not let my kids off of my lap and made my daughter pee in a pull up in order to avoid the bathroom. My parents are clean but have a lot of junk as well. We are not looking forward to cleaning out their house when they move. I am working hard on getting rid of stuff. It is so hard though.

        • Deborah
          June 12, 2016 at 6:21 pm #

          Wow! I can’t help feeling I’ve been invited into the world of a real life gothic novel! (In a good way :))

    • Who?
      June 12, 2016 at 6:55 pm #

      I hope his response is okay. It will be hard for him to see the changes you’ve made.

      I’m surrounded by people who are somewhat comforted by their ‘collections’: the reaction to me sorting them out seems to depend very much on where they are in their own heads when they notice it.

      It must be very satisfying-what a lovely room you’ve uncovered in the photo below!

      • BeatriceC
        June 12, 2016 at 9:39 pm #

        I’ve been sending him pictures as I’ve worked. Academically, he’s happy. How he adjusts is another matter entirely. I think long term he will actually be happier, but short term there will probably be some tension. And thanks! Similar transformations have been made all over the house. I’m insanely happy with it.

        • Who?
          June 12, 2016 at 10:00 pm #

          Keeping him updated is a great idea. I agree the longterm will be good-esp if you are able, when he asks for some random object, to point to where it is now safely stored.

          There was tension anyway-yours-you’re just sharing it around. And sharing is good, right?

    • MI Dawn
      June 13, 2016 at 10:00 am #

      Huzzah! That’s a real chore. And yeah, I don’t do well with clutter and disorder, either. The fact that I have boxes and clutter all over the house right now as I prepare for remodeling of the kitchen and Child #2 to move back in while she goes back for an RN degree is bugging me.

      • BeatriceC
        June 13, 2016 at 11:33 am #

        Yeah, it’s been a huge job. It doesn’t help that the house is so big, and there’s a bit of history here that helped get it to the shape it was in. I did some stuff when I moved in, but never really got it completely finished. Now it’s to a point where I’m happy. I will slowly start approaching the idea of getting rid of stuff in a few months, which will make things even better. There’s still some corners and closets that have a lot of junk in them, but it’s now a contained mess instead of all over the house.

  7. Green Fish
    June 11, 2016 at 7:32 am #

    On the news in Germany:
    A midwife who attended the homebirth of a breach baby was sentenced to 6 years and 9 months of prison, and to pay €50.000in damages to the parents.
    Why? Because the baby died and the midwife was found to having downplayed the risks of a breach vaginal birth, also by advising the parents to have a homebirth she violated the medical standard which is to be used in such cases (= birth in a hospital setting).


    • Platos_Redhaired_Stepchild
      June 11, 2016 at 1:06 pm #

      I tried to find an English version of the story. “Anita R” possibly is Anna Rockel-Loenhoff which ‘Sisters In Chains’ describes as “Facing criminal sanction for supporting mothers in vaginal breech birth when the state only offers them cesarean section.”


      • Green Fish
        June 11, 2016 at 5:29 pm #

        Yeah, sounds like it. And of course they don’t even mention that a baby died because of the “support” given by this midwife.

        And it’s not even true that cesarean section is the only option in Germany for mothers whose baby is breech. Many hospitals offer vaginal breech birth if they assess the situation as low risk (that can include an MRT to see whether the baby would fit through in this position).
        So it’s all bullshit what they write there. Of course.

    • Froggggggg
      June 12, 2016 at 12:28 am #

      Interestingly, the article states that she is a (medical) doctor too. I don’t know what to make of that. There’s no further detail.

  8. demodocus
    June 10, 2016 at 9:13 pm #

    OT: Little miss is home! And her brother seemed pleased, ‘though I don’t know if he will be when he realizes she’s a permanent tenant, lol.

    • Box of Salt
      June 10, 2016 at 10:17 pm #

      demodocus “brother seemed pleased, ‘though I don’t know if he will be when he realizes she’s a permanent tenant”

      Tip from a mom of 2: have him help with baby care. E.g., ask him to hand you (or spouse) the diapers when she needs changing. Sure, it takes longer, but it decreases resentment since they both get attention.

      • demodocus
        June 10, 2016 at 10:42 pm #

        Thank you. We were actually thinking about doing this sort of thing, but it was only the first diaper change.

        • Amazed
          June 11, 2016 at 9:14 am #

          I wish you luck in keeping them together permanently! Just in case he has a hard transition, remember this: soon, he won’t even remember that there was ever a time without her here. And he certainly won’t believe you when you tell him that yes, there was.

          • demodocus
            June 11, 2016 at 9:58 am #

            lol, DH and I are both 1sts, too, we know that score!

        • BeatriceC
          June 11, 2016 at 2:16 pm #

          I completely agree with Box of Salt. The more he can “help” (even if it makes more work for you), the better he’s likely to be. That’s been my experience with my kids and my friends have all reported the same thing.

    • Cartman36
      June 11, 2016 at 12:20 pm #

      I have the same concerns about bringing home the one I’m expecting. My son LOVES babies but I don’t know how he will feel when he or she never leaves. Good luck and God bless!

      • The Bofa on the Sofa
        June 11, 2016 at 1:19 pm #

        Get him a baby of his own to take care of. We did that when we had our second, and our older guy still holds his baby in a special place.

        • demodocus
          June 11, 2016 at 2:49 pm #

          Kerry has 2 babies of his own, because he stole my old doll as soon as he could crawl.

    • Gene
      June 11, 2016 at 2:02 pm #

      Luckily, my kids all adored their younger siblings (I think because toys showed up and baby wasn’t playing with them yet). But I apparently ask my mother to take my younger sibling back to the hospital and/or throw her in the trash!

    • BeatriceC
      June 11, 2016 at 2:15 pm #

      Congrats! How did I miss her arrival??? I haven’t been good at checking in here everyday, so I’m sorry I missed it. I’m glad she’s home and that big brother seems to like her so far.

    • KeeperOfTheBooks
      June 11, 2016 at 6:06 pm #

      Congrats, congrats, congrats! Enjoy those newborn snuggles, and get yourself some rest (well, as much as you can with a newborn…).

    • FEDUP MD
      June 12, 2016 at 8:16 am #

      I think the most helpful thing we did with the oldest was couching everything as “we” and “you” i.e. “We have a new baby in our family” and “You are now a big brother” etc. We made a huge deal of out how special being a big brother was and how helpful he was, etc. 2.5 years later they are the best of friends and when she falls he is the first to run over and hug her. 🙂

  9. guest
    June 10, 2016 at 7:28 pm #

    If the human body were designed to give birth, wouldn’t being pregnant be far more comfortable? Even when everything does go the way it’s supposed to, there’s a whole lot of sucky parts.

  10. Azuran
    June 10, 2016 at 3:51 pm #

    If the human body was perfectly designed to give birth, then trusting birth is not needed. Something perfect will work 100% of the time regardless of whether you trust it or not.

    • Nick Sanders
      June 10, 2016 at 4:15 pm #

      Unless you also believe in that “Law of Attraction” or similar. Woo travels in packs, you know.

      • Azuran
        June 10, 2016 at 4:43 pm #

        Yea, but by definition, something that is affected by your emotions cannot be perfect. You can’t have it both way.

  11. Nick Sanders
    June 10, 2016 at 1:39 pm #

    I know it’s clickbait, but George Takei shared this, and I thought some people here might enjoy it, as a few on the list are about crunchy people:

  12. Puffin
    June 10, 2016 at 1:24 pm #

    But see, ALL of those are just because of poor nutrition which is why they used to be so common and why so many women still have them. But a well-nourished, vaccine free, modern woman who eats all Organic/nonGMO/Gluten-free/Sugar-free/only-good-fats/chakra-aligned/picked-naked-under-the-full-moon/regularly-acupunctured food will do JUST fine.

    But if she is so selfish that she eats a conventionally grown apple during her pregnancy, well then, she brought on her own complications.

    • Lilly de Lure
      June 11, 2016 at 6:07 am #

      I’d give good money to hear their suggestions on how even the best nutrition could change my rhesus negative status (never been an issue before but boy is it a pain up the wazoo now I’m pregnant) – or should I just chant affirmations at my veins and hope for the best (anti-D is synthetic after all)?

      • June 11, 2016 at 7:45 am #

        It’s all YOUR fault that you didn’t pick an Rh negative man to be your spouse!

        • Azuran
          June 11, 2016 at 9:36 am #

          Nah, it’s because she’s too negative. If she was more positive about life, her Rh would also be positive.

          • Empliau
            June 11, 2016 at 3:02 pm #

            I thought we Rh negative people were descended from the alien reptilian overlords/Merovingian/Illuminati? What’s not to like? Although my financial share of world domination is awfully late…

          • Lilly de Lure
            June 15, 2016 at 11:21 am #

            Mine too! Although the crunchies around me tell me it means I’m descended from spiritual neolithic hunter gatherers as opposed to those materialistic rhesus positives who are descended from the farmers who came in from the fertile crescent (whose descendants might not include me but presumably do include both of my rhesus positive parents so I’m not sure how that works).

      • Fleur
        June 11, 2016 at 9:59 am #

        I definitely saw at least one blogpost when I was pregnant which claimed that you can change your rhesus status through diet/ detox. I can’t remember for the life of me where I saw it but it was probably one of the usual suspects.

      • D/
        June 11, 2016 at 10:31 am #

        Here’s Tinkerbelle’s regimen for you, in part … faith, prayer, distilled water, and periwinkle.


        • Lilly de Lure
          June 11, 2016 at 1:45 pm #

          Oh Lordy now I’ve heard everything – I count anti-vax, herbal (interestingly her regime containes at least 3 potential abortofacient herbs that I know of), detox, raw food, organic, anti GMO and anti-fluoridisation woo all in one article (I’m deliberately not commenting on the biblical bit). Is this woman after some sort of deranged bingo?

          Thanks for the giggle!

          • D/
            June 11, 2016 at 9:07 pm #

            My pleasure 🙂 Reading it felt like a mental mouth full of my MIL’s Christmas fruitcake.

        • Heidi_storage
          June 12, 2016 at 2:09 pm #

          That made me so angry. I am an Rh-positive child who would have been stillborn without treatment (Mom was sensitized from my brother). I am so glad God was kind to her children after she endangered them like that.

  13. EllenL
    June 10, 2016 at 12:23 pm #

    There’s an addendum to the natural birth philosophy which claims
    that while those things can happen, they are so very very rare – that they aren’t going to happen to you! Take our word for it!

    Later, when one of those not-so-rare-after-all things happens,
    and tragedy results – that’s life! There’s nothing that could have or should
    have been done about it. Accept your tragedy (as we accept it – because it doesn’t affect us, and we don’t actually give a damn).

    Excuse me, but I’d rather have a healthy baby and survive
    childbirth myself than follow that philosophy.

  14. June 10, 2016 at 11:52 am #

    Man, we could save so much money on the farm if we printed this list off, read it to the cows and stopped doing any management of bovine pregnancies……

    But the heap of dead cows and calves….. *shudders*

  15. anh
    June 10, 2016 at 11:21 am #

    Dealing with secondary infertility. Magically got pregnant. Lost it quickly.

    I want to slap anyone who tries to tell me what my body is supposed to do. I know what it was “supposed” to do but in reality my baby died. Can these people not comprehend how painful their message is to people like me?

    • AirPlant
      June 10, 2016 at 1:44 pm #

      I am so sorry for your loss. Infertility followed by miscarriage is heartbreaking.

    • cookiebaker
      June 10, 2016 at 7:29 pm #

      So sorry for your loss. So many people don’t know what to say when you’ve lost a baby, so try not to let thoughtless remarks stay with you. I found the most comforting people were the ones who had also had miscarriages. Only they understood the pain and the broken promise.

      • KeeperOfTheBooks
        June 11, 2016 at 6:10 pm #

        I was extremely fortunate when I miscarried last year in that those people around me who didn’t know what to say said exactly that: “I’m really sorry, I don’t know what to say. Is there anything I can do to help?” Which might not be Deep or Meaningful or whatever, but y’know, I’ll take “I want to help but don’t know how and I’m sorry you’re hurting” ANY DAY over what anh (or so many other loss moms) have heard.

    • RMY
      June 11, 2016 at 2:58 pm #

      I’m so sorry. I definitely hear you. I’m infertile too.

    • KeeperOfTheBooks
      June 11, 2016 at 6:08 pm #

      I am so very sorry. 🙁

  16. Roadstergal
    June 10, 2016 at 11:05 am #

    But those things only happen when you’re tense and your sphincters don’t relax!!

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