A woman’s virtue is not in her vagina


For most of human history a woman was judged by her vagina, specifically what went into it.

As in the rest of the animal world, the male human’s greatest fear was of being cuckolded, raising another male’s child as his own. Hence the elaborate attempts to ensure virginity and fidelity, ranging from female genital mutilation to chastity belts, to burqas to honor killings. Women have been cut, confined and crushed, both literally and figuratively, in order to insure that their vaginae were not breached by any man besides their husbands. That extended even to forced sexual violation. Even today, women who are raped are married off to the rapist to preserve her “honor” or killed by the male members of her own family to preserve their honor.

In the past hundred years women have increasingly discovered what Sohaila Abdulai explained in a recent op-ed piece in The New York Times. Writing in the wake of a horrific gang rape in India that resulted in the death of a young medical student, she proclaims what should be obvious to everyone. Rape is horrible because it is a violation:

It is not horrible because you lose your “virtue.” It is not horrible because your father and your brother are dishonored. I reject the notion that my virtue is located in my vagina …

Here in the US we have undoubtedly made progress in divorcing a woman’s virtue from her vagina. That’s why it is very disturbing to find a group of women who continue to insist that women’s honor resides in her vagina, specifically what comes through it. Natural childbirth advocates have located women’s fulfillment and authenticity in her ability to push a baby out through her vagina. It is precisely this fetishism of the vagina that is responsible for the central tenets of natural childbirth advocacy, including:

  • the veneration of process (vaginal birth) over outcome (healthy mother and baby)
  • the insistence that vaginal birth is better for babies
  • the desperate search for purported advantages in vaginal birth, ranging from supposed decreases in everything from chronic diseases to tooth decay
  • an obsession with lowering the C-section rate
  • a rejection of the autonomy of women who prefer C-sections
  • hideous lies about the effects of C-sections on woman’s ability to bond with her baby
  • the bizarre concepts of birth rape and obstetric “violence”

These ideas, which are central to natural childbirth advocacy, locate a woman’s virtue in her ability to pass a baby through her vagina, and her “shame” in being unable or unwilling to do so.

It is hardly surprising that the originators and greatest proponents of the philosophy of natural childbirth, Grantly Dick-Read, Fernand Lamaze, Robert Bradley and Michel Odent, were and are men eager to trap women in traditional gender roles. It is deeply distressing to me, however, that most contemporary natural childbirth advocates are women, wittingly or unwittingly seeking to trap women in traditional gender roles.

A woman’s virtue is NOT located in her vagina. She is not at her most authentic and fulfilled by pushing a child through her vagina. And no woman should ever be shamed into thinking that being unable or unwilling to push a baby through her vagina is a failure.

There is no honor in vaginal birth and it is despicable for anyone to insist that there is.

14 Responses to “A woman’s virtue is not in her vagina”

  1. November 26, 2013 at 11:00 am #

    Im our times boys are the ones likely to be mutilated by so-called cirdumcission. Happily I am not one of these. But as a child I was mutilated at the other end of the body by unneccesary orthodics, a horrible practice that in most cases does more harm than good,
    Reghards Knut Holt

  2. Nicole
    July 2, 2013 at 12:28 am #

    “Rip us Open?” Please, get a grip and inform yourself. There isn’t a single credentialed physician who is out there to ‘rip’ a woman open. You sound like a typical hysterical and reactive brainwashed birth groupie. Please take a deep breath and calm down.

  3. Nicky Mancinelli
    June 2, 2013 at 8:47 am #

    yes I DO, if not for her vagina, she would be rendered OBSOLETE as in useless, meaningless, and purposeless, IMAGINE if women did not have vaginas, men would NOT deal with them IN ANY way for ANY Reason, Period

    • Anj Fabian
      June 2, 2013 at 8:57 am #

      If I were a man, I’d be incredibly insulted. This is nearly as bad as the “Men can’t keep themselves from raping.”.

      I feel sorry for you and the men and women in your life and I sincerely hope you have never raised children.

      • Nicky Mancinelli
        June 2, 2013 at 10:02 am #

        I stand corrected, there is also Some Virtue in her breasts as well

    • Certified Hamster Midwife
      July 2, 2013 at 1:04 am #

      We don’t use our vaginas to cook. At least, I don’t.

      • Nicky Mancinelli
        July 11, 2013 at 7:50 pm #

        good point, but since women don’t cook anymore their vagina is now their ONLY virtue

        • Certified Hamster Midwife
          July 12, 2013 at 2:06 pm #

          Troll harder, troll.

          • Nicky Mancinelli
            July 16, 2013 at 10:07 pm #

            troll? this ain’t about “trolling” btw don’t use that word with me copycat, this is about new age FACT women today don’t and can’t cook, LEAVING HER VAGINA AS THE ONLY THING LEFT TO BE DESIRED AND PURCHASED! What, you think I’m kidding or “trolling?” this is THE WAY IT IS IN 2013 GOLD-DIGGER NATION OF AMERIKA, we buy a woman for her virtue, her vagina, and she better keep the number LOW, very low otherwise her only virtue turns into “damaged goods”

  4. Nicky Mancinelli
    June 2, 2013 at 8:45 am #

    it ain’t?! wow you had me fooled


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