The Alpha Parent is caught lying

Alpha Parent liar

I’m sure you will be shocked, shocked to learn that The Alpha Parent has been caught lying.

Who would have thought that Allison Dixley, Kommandant of the Breastapo, would lie outright in her efforts to promote her personal brand of parenting? Sure she habitually spews mistruths, half truths and lies about breastfeeding. I guess she’s been getting away with it for so long that she figured she could extend the lying to C-sections.

What did she do? She posted this:

Alpha Parent Cesarean large

Given the wording, you might have thought that the ugly scar depicted in the image is a C-section scar. You would be wrong. It’s an abdominoplasty (tummy tuck) scar. How do I know? Aside from the fact that the original image described it as an abdominoplasty, you can tell because it is approximately 3X longer, extending from hip bone to hip bone, it involves tremendous bruising, and it is clearly not the fresh incision of a recently pregnant woman since her abdomen is flat.

Allison was caught out by her followers and everyone else. It was the perfect visual representation of the fundamental dishonesty of the typical crap that she spews about breastfeeding and formula feeding.

Allison doesn’t deny that she illustrated her message about C-sections with a picture of an entirely different, far more extensive surgery. How does she she justify the deception? It’s dramatic license! Excuse me while I pick myself up off the floor where I fell when laughing uncontrollably.

For those getting their thong trapped, remember this cosleeping ad? It wasn’t suggesting that babies actually sleep with knives. It’s called dramatic licence. Move on.

Alpha Parent excuse

Good to know, Allison. So that means that the image heading this post where I slap the label “LIAR!” on your logo is just dramatic license, too.

Bad news, Allison, your image does not represent dramatic license. It represents lying with images. As you so accurately point out, no one would look at the co-sleeping ad and imagine that it represents reality. It is a graphical analogy. You weren’t making an analogy with your image; you were simply telling a lie, trying to pass off an abdominoplasty incision AS a C-section incision.

No matter. What I love about people like Allison is that they make my job so much easier. I could tell you that Allison lies when it suits her purposes, but it’s far more powerful when she demonstrates her utter disregard for the truth. You can’t believe a word that woman says about breastfeeding, about C-sections or about anything else. She lies, and she thinks it’s okay to lie. You’d be a fool to take anything she writes seriously.

  • Voldemort

    But you lie all the time?! Pot. Kettle. Black.

    Never trust a fat doctor!

    • Poogles

      “Never trust a fat doctor!”

      And when you can’t refute someone’s arguments, you attack them personally – so smart, so original @@

      • Belle

        Exactly!

    • Bombshellrisa

      So only skinny doctors know what a C-section scar looks like?

  • Jane

    Rad. What a croc. Scaring women with self serving lies.
    Not impressed.

  • mostlyclueless

    I made some edits to help Allison get the facts straight: http://imgur.com/k8JiajX

    • Karen in SC

      Excellent. did you tweet it to her?

    • Cobalt

      Love it!

  • Kara Neely

    Uh I’m so glad she was caught lying, I absolutely HATE that blog. So much misinformation that moms believe.

  • CALMama

    That looked just like me after I had a “modified abdominoplasty with vertical incision”. My bruising went away after 5-7 days; the vertical scar took more like 6 months to lighten. But other than that it looks just like my scar. I used to have a c-section scar, which looked nothing like that. My c-section scar was lower and 1/3 the length of that one. It faded way more too.

  • Who?

    At first (no glasses on) I thought the bunchy stuff under the scar was more skin. THAT would be a horrible scar. This is long but surely will fade over time, and the image of an otherwise healthy-looking body and that beautiful little one is so moving.

    Just one more reason to never wear flesh coloured undies…

  • sdsures

    Medical question: are there different types of c-section scars, depending on circumstance, patient history (i.e. RCS), and emergent or routine?

    • Short answer, yes. Longitudinal or transverse. But…the longitudinal incision nowadays is extremely rare [anyone watch the first episode of “The Knick”? The C/S was handled very badly; I nearly stopped watching then. The problem in 1900 wasn’t technique but infection]. In fact, the surgeon goes through a number of layers to get to the uterus: skin, fat, muscle, peritoneum — before he gets to the uterus and the layers are not simply slashed through, but cut/separated/torn in different ways. The Pfanninstiel incision is for the skin layer, and the uterine incision is not actually in the uterus at all, but at the junction between the cervix and uterus, and does not need to be any larger than sufficiently wide to let the baby’s head out, the head being the largest part of the baby.

      • Smoochagator

        At the junction of the uterus and cervix? That’s very interesting. I had no idea!

        • A disclaimer: I’m going to oversimplify. But the uterus is a muscle, what is known as “smooth muscle”, which isn’t under your voluntary control — you can’t make your uterus contract as you can raise your arm. The cervix looks, for all intents and purposes, as part of the uterus, but it isn’t the same kind of tissue. [For one thing, the nervous supply is different]. When the uterus contracts, it opens the cervix [so to speak] by pulling it back and up. In first births, there is usually a long period prior to the onset of actual labor [dilatation] when the cervix thins out [effacement] first, which makes it easier to be pulled back later on. In second and subsequent births [unless there is a long period of some years between births], the two processes of effacement and dilatation often occur together. Think of trying to get into a brand new pair of pantyhose, or a pair previously worn. Often, too, when wanting to smooth out a pair of socks, one doesn’t have to pull at the toe but rather at the top, and the toe part becomes unwrinkled, if you want another analogy of how uterine contractions can affect the cervical opening.

          In point of fact, the scar of a previous C/S rarely tears–it is very strong and inelastic, like gristle, but the uterine muscular tissue can pull away from the scar, which is why, if at all possible, the surgeon wants to cut below the muscle fibers as much as he can.

  • Certified Hamster Midwife

    OT, but tangentially related to c-sections. Have any of the regular commenters here gone on to have a successful pregnancy after a salpingectomy? How about vaginal delivery (though that’s not so important to me)?

    I’ve never been pregnant and have just been diagnosed with fibroids, three of them, roughly golf ball-sized. I’m not planning to get pregnant anytime soon, but I would like to in the next 5 years. Out of my current options I am leaning toward surgery to remove the tumors but leave my uterus.

    • Medwife

      So the fibroids are blocking your Fallopian tube?

      • Certified Hamster Midwife

        Not that I know of, though they are pushing one of my ovaries out of place.

        • Deborah

          Well, if they’re bothering you, they’ve got to go, but I’ve also had loads of patients do ok with pregnancy with their fibroids still in place.

          • Dr Jay

            Exactly. If they aren’t bothering you, or distorting the cavity, you could theoretically leave them in place and wait until after you deliver to have them removed.

      • Certified Hamster Midwife

        They are causing bowel and bladder problems and generally awful periods.

    • CanDoc

      I think you might mean a myomectomy to remove the fibroids.

      • Certified Hamster Midwife

        Doh. I have no idea why my brain coughed up the wrong surgery name. I’ll edit the comment when I’m back on my computer.

        • Young CC Prof

          Actually, my friend got pregnant (unplanned!) in her late 30s after several fibroid surgeries. She had to have a c-section at 37 weeks, because the doctor didn’t want her body to even think about going into labor, but they were both fine.

    • fiftyfifty1

      “Has anyone here gone on to have a successful pregnancy after a myomectomy? How about vaginal delivery (though that’s not really a priority)?”

      I have a number of patients who have had myomectomies and have gone on to have successful pregnancies. All of them but one have delivered by CS. The one who delivered vaginally was from Africa, and her myomectomy as well as subsequent pregnancy and vaginal birth occurred there. I can’t give more advice/insight than that as I am an FP who doesn’t do OB care.

      • Siri

        Just out of interest, were the sections a direct consequence of the myomectomies, or were they due to other factors, eg advanced maternal age, sub-fertility/precious pregnancy etc?

        • Depends on the size and placement of the myomas. I once had a haredi lady who had such large myomas that she looked about 7 months pregnant when she wasn’t pregnant at all. For religious reasons she refused a hysterectomy as they were too extensive for a myomectomy, and carried 4 of her 9 pregnancies to term, but she had to be on bedrest from early in the pregnancy [and looked as if she was pregnant with twins] and of course delivered by C/S.

          We used to tease her that we’d put a plaque on her room with “Reserved for…” since she seemed to spend part of every year with us.

          • Siri

            Thank you Antigonos! 🙂

      • Medwife

        I have had quite a few patients with history of myomectomy, too. I don’t really remember how many delivered vaginally vs c/s, I’m thinking more had c/s than vaginal. But they tended to be older African-American women, so might have had any number of risk factors necessitating c/s.

    • rachel

      It depends on the location of the fibroids and surgical approach. If they’re submucosal (growing into the uterine cavity) and treated hysteroscopically (camera thru the vagina) with no entry into the muscle layer of the uterus you can delivery vaginally. If they’re intramural (in the muscle layer) and treated abdominally you’ll need a C-section. The concern is that the scar is in the contractile portion of the uterus and increases the risk of uterine rupture during a trial of labor. We treat women with that type of myomectomy the same as if they had a prior classical C-section with slightly early delivery to prevent spontaneous labor and minimize the risk of rupture. Pedunculated fibroids are basically hanging off a stalk in the abdomen and treatment would depend on the extent of surgery.

  • GentryHL

    I look at my 4″ scar one year later, and am still quite happy with my very elective c-section. I guess that makes me a CBAVD! (cesarean birth after vaginal delivery). Also thanks to Dr. Teuter; who took the time to answer my emails regarding the safety of the elective procedure. Without judgement.

  • Ash

    Photo original source:
    https://www.flickr.com/photos/wespionage/304594029/in/photostream/

    From photo comments:
    “Thanks everyone. I’m lucky to live with such strong, brave, and loving women.

    And Jodi — Not a dumb question. It’s the result of corrections to the way C-sections healed internally.”

  • Thankfulmom
  • An Actual Attorney

    Well, it turns out everyone was wrong about the pic.

    Here’s the original:

    https://www.flickr.com/photos/wespionage/304594029/

    Here’s the photographer’s explanation:

    “Not a dumb question. It’s the result of corrections to the way C-sections healed internally.”

    Here’s another in the series: https://www.flickr.com/photos/wespionage/304594381/

    • An Actual Attorney

      Just also wanted to say, in case the photographer sees the link, he really is amazing and I’m glad I looked through his flicker stream. Well worth a bit of time to check out.

    • Elizabeth A

      They are amazing photos. I’d be interested to see if anyone can comment on what repair surgeries could have left that scar, because it’s extraordinarily long for anything but abdominoplasty.

      I don’t grudge anyone a tummy tuck, or snuggly pics with their kids, but it pains me to see that scar presented as a risk of c-section.

      • An Actual Attorney

        I don’t have the impression that was the original intent. He takes a lot of pictures of his family, and this seems like a thing that happened. None of the titles say cs. He just answered in response to questions.

        • Elizabeth A

          Oh, it’s not the photographer who pains me… more the hay I know TAP would make of the information.

          • An Actual Attorney

            Oh, yes. I agree.

    • Amy Tuteur, MD

      I can’t imagine any kind of repair that would require an incision of that size. I still suspect that it was an abdominoplasty.

      • Elizabeth A

        Someone on another site suggested post c-section necrosis. I have no idea what that scar would look like.

        • Sue

          Even if this were something to do with Cesarean surgery, it would be highly unusual to have
          (a) such a long scar, extending that far laterally; and
          (b) a major complication in an abdominal wound in a woman with so slight a build.

          If Gamma-Grade Parent wanted to portray a reailstic picture, she could just as well have shown a neat, short scar below the bikini line, which is at least as easy to find pictures of on the net.

          Poetic license my foot! Nothing poetic about that person!

      • PollyPocketRN

        If it was an abdominoplasty (and at first glance, it certainly looks like it), the picture is still confusing.

        1. The high incision laterally is an older technique. There is no reason to put such a visible incision, especially given the patients’ build.

        2. There is skin and fatty tissue that overhangs the c-section insicion, centrally. This should not be the case, especially so early on, after an abdominoplasty.

        3. It is unclear whether the umbilical stalk was removed and reattached (if so, the incision around the umbilicus would look like the abdominal incision.) This is standard in adbominoplasties.

        4. Based on bruising, the patient appears to be no more than 2 weeks postop. There are no drains or drains sites. While it is certainly possible to do an abdominoplasty without drains, having drains is more common than not.

        5. It is also unusual for a patient to be able to stand completely upright in the first 2-3 weeks. Because of the amount of skin taken, patients are bent forward at the waist. The angle of the picture makes it hard to say this with any degree of certainty.

        6. It is unclear that the incision crosses midline. The pictures were all taken from one angle.

        So if it was an abdominoplasty, I’d be really curious to know who the surgeon was.

        • SiulaGrande

          I found the photographer’s Facebook page and contacted him, but the message went to his “Other” folder. I also contacted him via his Flickr account. I’m pretty sure he gives his location on Flickr, so is it okay to post it here?

        • sdsures

          Dr Photoshop, I presume?

      • CanDoc

        Agree 100%. Clearly abdominoplasty. There is NO other surgery I can think of that continues so far LATERALLY. There is nothing intra-abdominal being accessed so far from the midline. From the upper picture it is appreciable that the incision continues to the left of the midline. I don’t know where @PollyPocketRN practices, but there are still several different techniques for abdominoplasty used, and it wouldn’t be uncommon for a thin woman like this to have her drains out well before her estimated “two weeks”. (Although with the degree of contraction I would guess that this wound is a little older that that, and she just had extensive bruising.) I’m not a plastic surgeon but I sleep with one who agrees, has to be abdominoplasty. BUT not necessarily from cesarean section – a thin woman who had large babies, multiple gestations, or a lot of weight gain could easily end up with a pannus (overhang) requiring surgical repair, cesarean or not. There’s no necrosis in this wound (a), not black, b) if it was necrotic she’d be in hospital and very sick, not posing for photos with a child pressed against her necrotic abdomen.)

        • Dr Kitty

          It isn’t a scar from a hysterectomy.
          It isn’t a scar from adhesiolysis
          It isn’t a scar from bladder repair or bowel repair.
          It isn’t a scar from a cosmetic revision of a CS scar.
          It is an abdominoplasty scar.

          It just IS.

          The woman may have had all sorts of internal repairs and chosen to get abdominoplasty at the same time for cosmetic reasons, but that scar is NOT the normal result of any CS. It just isn’t.

          • sdsures

            I didn’t know people could even get revisions of CS scars! Wouldn’t that just lead to more adhesions? (I’m not a medical person, but I have had multiple major abdominal surgeries for ventricular shunt revisions. So I know a tiny bit: the more you dig around in previously-scarred areas and close them up, one scar builds on top of another.)

          • Dr Kitty

            For cosmetic scar revision you just cut the old scar out of the skin and suture the edges together. Very superficial, no adhesions because you don’t go deep enough.

            It is pretty straight forward.

            For example for a RCS you have three options.
            1) make a new incision above or below the old one.
            2) go through the old incision
            3) cut out the old scar, essentially going through the old incision but leaving only one new scar.

            Where I did OB Gyn, everyone did option 3.
            If it was a true emergency, you might go through the old scar at the start and then, once everything was calm at the end tidy things up and remove the old scar tissue.

            You’re talking removing millimeters of skin, literally just the width of the scarring.

            It works pretty well for hypertrophic scars or bad scars from wound infections or reactions to suture material, less so for people prone to keloid.

          • sdsures

            How often are these done?

          • The Bofa, Being of the Sofa

            OK, OBs weight in:
            Have you ever seen a scar like this in conjunction with a c-section, of any sort?

          • CanDoc

            No. Never.
            BUT there is “rumor” that the stars look so good after they give birth because they have an abdominoplasty at the same time as their elective cesarean section. Not sure I believe this because plastic surgeons HATE to do any intraabdominal surgery (ie where you enter the abdominal cavity, like a hysterectomy or cesarean section) concurrently with an abdominoplasty unless ABSOLUTELY necessary (eg extremely obese woman with cancer and a large overhanging “pannus”) because it increases the risk of infection.

          • An Actual Attorney

            I looked into doing that for a bit — like a few afternoons on the computer to. I was curious if I could get a tummy tuck at the same time as my CS. Turns out, between the increased blood flow and the fact that the uterus would still be huge, there didn’t seem to be a responsible surgeon who would even consider it.

            I’m no star, but figured if I was there anyway…

  • Guest

    Alpha parent: ” Fact: Babies born by caesarean between 37 & 39 weeks are 120 x more likely to need help with breathing”
    My 39 weeks vaginally delivered baby had a heart rate drop twice during labor and came out not breathing too!. My 36 weeks baby that came through CS was FINE! Also it is stress free and I LIKE IT!

    • Young CC Prof

      120X compared to what, healthy toddlers?

      There is an increased incidence of TTN among babies born at early term by no-labor c-section, but it sure isn’t 120 times higher. 5 times at the most, depending what you’re using as a comparison group, with a total incidence of about 10% among 37-weekers delivered without labor.

      Also and more importantly, TTN is a routine, treatable condition not associated with long-term problems, unlike some side effects of vaginal birth gone wrong.

    • momofone

      My son was born by c-section at 38 weeks, 3 days, after a biophysical profile showed significant placental calcification. I’ll take breathing help after a live birth over starving my baby of oxygen in utero any day.

    • Elizabeth A

      I have no idea where she got that factoid from, but there’s about a million ways to refute it.

      – It’s probably not the c-section that makes those babies need help. Babies born by c-section are likely to be born that way because of indications of fetal distress.

      – Define “help with breathing”. Does “a firm pat on the back” or “a quick suctioning of airway” count?

      – My 32-weeker needed considerable help with breathing, but the
      c-section was performed to help both her and me keep our blood on our insides, where it belongs.

    • Jenny_from_da_Bloc

      This Alpha lady is more like alpha insane. I’m a Resp therapist and if that 120x was real stat nobody would have time to blink. If she is going to lie at least pick a number that is remotely believable. Without doing any research and making an educated guess I would say it is less than or closer to 5%-10% of c-sections

    • KarenJJ

      What’s the bet she left off the percentage sign for “dramatic license”?

      • Young CC Prof

        120% more likely (as in a bit more than twice as often) actually sounds plausible.

        • sdsures

          Could her maths be off?

    • Kate

      My 37 weeker needed breathing help in NICU…after an induction and vaginal birth. The neonatologist said it was likely due to his gestational age and my GD, not how he was born.

    • Mishimoo

      My cousin-in-law’s baby is 2 weeks old and still on oxygen, after being an hour-long labour and vaginal delivery at 40+6. I hate that the Alpha Parent is blaming the caesarean instead of looking at foetal distress being the issue.

      • Young CC Prof

        Yikes, sorry to hear that. Hope the baby improves and goes home soon.

        • Mishimoo

          Thanks, we hope so too. His mum is so awesome and a really lovely person, and I really wish this wasn’t happening to her. They’re going to try weaning him off the oxygen this week, so hopefully he’ll be home by next weekend (if they’re lucky).

  • Who?

    I think she’s taken it down, couldn’t see it on the site.

    That’s concentrated crazy over there, I didn’t read much as my intolerance of stupid and vicious meter was climbing into the danger zone.

    • Elizabeth A

      It was on her FB – I’d love it if she took it down, but I suspect it’s still there.

      • SiulaGrande

        It’s still there.

  • MS

    I have seen this picture before, used for something claiming to be “CSection Awareness Day.” The event, real or fake, was to bring to light the “dirty reality” of how horrible C sections were. I found it on accident somewhere in the bowels of the internet late one evening, and was disgusted (by the event, not the picture).

    For the record, my c section was awesome (though the ciscumstances surrounding it were not), my incision was small, healed easily, and my scar is a dainty little thing barely visible after a little over a year. My daughter, however, is a happy toddler that practically bounces around the house!

  • MLE

    Let’s give her the benefit of the doubt here. If they pulled that five year old out of my abdomen, I’m sure the scar would be about the same size.

  • But, but, but women who have c-sections are supposed to “feel” terribly disfigured and an actual picture of the average cesarean mom just wouldn’t do justice to those feelings…. I hate the need of pro-NCB to blow cesareans out of proportion. Women need real information, and they need to know that if they *liked* their cesarean that is just as okay as *not liking* a natural birth.

    • The Bofa, Being of the Sofa

      But, but, but women who have c-sections are supposed to “feel” terribly disfigured and an actual picture of the average cesarean mom just wouldn’t do justice to those feelings.

      As I’ve said before, I have never even SEEN my wife’s c-section scar. And it’s not for lack of looking down there.

      Hard to look disfigured when you can’t see it.

      • Agree – mine is pretty non-existent. Far less noticeable than my gall bladder scar.

        • Dr Kitty

          At this point I have spinal surgery scars,scars from multiple laparoscopic surgeries for endometriosis and ovarian cysts and facial scars because I was a clumsy child.
          The only one that is covered when I wear a bikini?
          You guessed it.
          The CS scar.

          If I was bothered by my scars I’d be in a burka.

          • The Bofa, Being of the Sofa

            My wife’s laparoscope belly-button scar from her appendectomy is more noticeable than her c-section scar.

          • momofone

            I have the old-school vertical incision from my c-section, and STILL can barely see it.

          • Dr Kitty

            I do find it odd that so many of the all natural NCB people who seem to freak out over the idea of CS and resulting scars have multiple tattoos and piercings.

            Which says, to me, that for them the issues with surgical scars is not about bodily integrity but everything about control.

            I.e.
            I don’t mind being permanently and visibly marked for all to see if I sat down and thought about it, planned it, paid for it and endured hours of pain. The tattoo is therefore a badge of honour and something to be celebrated.

            I object to being permanently and visibly marked for only me and my very intimates to see if I sat down and thought about my perfect birth plan, paid for it, endured hours of pain…and didn’t get exactly what I wanted.

          • Dr Kitty

            On further reflection, both my sisters have very lovely tattoos and lots of piercings. I don’t and I’m the only one with scars.
            Maybe I’m happy to let life mark me, and don’t feel the need to add to it.

            I have seen absolutely stunning tattoos done to cover scars, which is certainly one way to get control back and reclaim your body post-op, but not an option that has ever appealed to me personally.

          • Roadstergal

            I have both planned (highly planned) tattoos and piercings, and less well-planned surgical scars, and I like them all for very different reasons… On the topic of CS, I had a PT after my latest surgery (I love proper PTs as much as I love good surgeons) who, in addition to working on getting my strength and flexibility back, also did a lot of ‘scar work’ to break up the scar and its attachment to the skin underneath. She mentioned CS as another type of scar she addresses, to keep ‘tightness’ from being an issue. I found her work marvelous – the skin moves over my plated collarbone as easily as it moves over my normal one now, and speaking as someone who likes to wear shirts that show off my neck and shoulders, I find the finished scar to be quite beautiful…

          • Young CC Prof

            I was lucky enough to do some PT a few months after my c-section. It wasn’t specifically addressing that, but incidentally my core muscles got really effectively rebuilt. (I thought they were most of the way back already, the PT very kindly showed me I was wrong, then showed me how to fix it.)

            I totally recommend it.

          • Rachele Willoughby

            I intend to have “Emergency Exit Only” tattooed over my scar.

          • Kq

            I’m getting an Exit sign over mine. All the funnier because my son has been OBSESSED with exit signs since he was about 8 months old!

    • Amy

      I’m far more disfigured by my second pregnancy, since it’s when I got stretch marks. None whatsoever with my first. The c-section scar is tiny by comparison and nobody can see it when I’m wearing a bikini or underwear…..unlike the stretch marks.

      And what about women who tear while pushing? That seems to me like it has the potential to be a lot worse than a small incision scar.

      • Rachele Willoughby

        Word. My c-section incision was nothing compared to the way the OB had to reconstruct my inner labia after my youngest son was born. It definitely figured into my decision to do a section for my breech baby. Since it was unlikely that I’d be able to VB her without tearing I was pretty much choosing where I wanted the stitches. 😉

        • Cobalt

          If I had to have stitches and could choose, I would go for in front instead of underneath any day.

          • Rachele Willoughby

            And twice on Sundays!

  • Carolina

    Well, that just talked me out of a tummy tuck some day. Money saved!
    My C-section scar is so small I’m amazed they pulled a 7 lb 20 inch baby out of it.

    • Maria

      My thoughts exactly! I think I will stick with a bit of a belly than go for a surgery that gives me a scar like that!

    • theadequatemother

      this picture is a relatively fresh surgical site. Based on the bruising and swelling it’s likely just a couple of weeks old. That is not the result that you would expect after a abdominoplasty, nor is it representative of the final result after DIEP or tram flaps for reconstruction after mastectomy.

      have a gander via google at abdominoplasty and DIEP scars and the progression over months after the surgery.

      I think its a beautiful picture and shows the resilience of the human organism and the way that (most importantly for the AP and her followers to understand) surgery doesn’t have to represent a barrier to your relationship with your children (assuming that little girl is the daughter of the woman in the picture. I find the way she looks at her really heartwarming. She’s probably just thrilled to have mom back home after a 2-5 day hospital stay).

      • Elizabeth A

        It is a lovely photo once you know it for what it is. It certainly speaks to my experience with cancer, recon, and small children. The little girl’s curiosity and tenderness are captured beautifully.

        • Careri

          I really wanted this to be a post-reconstruction picture, though it sounds like you discovered it’s not. Two and a half months after my DIEP, one of my daughters still checks my scars everyday, pronouncing “your boo boos are healing good, mama.” Curiosity, tenderness and resilence. Gotta love them.

          • Careri

            I should add that even though it doesn’t match my exact experience, it’s still cool to re-see it not as a grotesque, butchery but a moment of resilence and tenderness. Thanks for that, Elizabeth A.

          • Elizabeth A

            Rule for looking at pictures of scars on living people: Put “Landslide” on infinite repeat first. (Stevie Nicks or Dixie Chicks, your choice. Smashing Pumpkins if you wanna be wrong like that.)

          • Joy

            Smashing Pumpkins is so so wrong.

          • MLE

            But then you can’t see through the tears…

  • Elizabeth A

    Has anyone tracked down the source of this photo?

    I’m seeing a lot of chat on other sites about “why does this picture even exist?” and I think – based on no evidence – that it may be somebody’s post-mastectomy/recon photo shoot.

    If you get a tummy tuck, you’re probably pretty happy about it. This photo doesn’t convey that mood at all – it seems like a very realistic and emotional picture from a totally different experience.

    • Dr Kitty

      It is obviously not a Pfannenstiel incision.

      Elizabeth, I looked at that pic and immediately though DIEP flap, given the thin arms and legs, presence of the young child and the fact that this person chose to have professional photos taken while still bruised and healing.

      The says “diary of a cancer survivor” more than “cosmetic surgery after weight loss” to me.

      • The Bofa, Being of the Sofa

        The says “diary of a cancer survivor” more than “cosmetic surgery after weight loss” to me.

        Interesting. If that were true, not only would that not be a bad picture, it would be something to celebrate!

        • Dr Kitty

          And not only is AD using it completely out of context, she may well be missing the whole point of the photo.

          I wonder how the woman in the photo feels about AD using it that way?
          I bet she’s probably not thrilled.
          Did AD seek her permission do you think?

          • Elizabeth A

            AP seems to have a history of using other people’s photos without permission or attribution, so… no, I don’t think she got permission this time either.

        • Smoochagator

          Even cosmetic surgery after weight loss is something to celebrate. Significant weight loss takes a great deal of dedication, whether the individual loses the weight surgically or the “old-fashioned” way. Oftentimes, incredible changes happen on the inside of the individual, because the huge outward changes challenge the way he/she perceives and feels about him/herself, and the ways that others relate to him/her.

      • MaineJen

        Cancer…survivor. So it’s official: she’s either co-opted a sick woman’s photo for her own purposes (and is completely heartless), or she really truly thought this was a c section scar and didn’t bother to find out the truth (and is completely clueless). Heartless…or clueless?

        • Dr Kitty

          Not official, just educated guesswork.
          I can’t find the original image, so I obviously don’t know if my guesswork is on the right track.

          The idea that AD might actually know the story behind the image and still use it if it is what I suspect…

          The actions of an Omega human being.

        • LibrarianSarah

          Heartless or clueless?

          Based on her past writings I am going to say that the answer is “both.”

    • theadequatemother

      its totally DIEP or tram flaps.

      if it was plastic surgery they would have done more contouring.

    • Joy

      Yes, someone I know on FB has claimed she tracked down the source and contacted the photographer. No response yet.

  • Young CC Prof

    Apparently quite a lot of her followers are outraged. She lies all the time, but this is the first time many of them are recognizing it.

    You get into a weird place mentally when you get trapped by a chronic liar. First come the little lies. This person is charismatic, and the first lie is flattering, so you swallow the little lie. Once the little lie goes down the hatch, the slightly bigger one follows. Then come the “You’re a bad person” lies, and those are eaten up as well.

    Then one day, along comes a statement that is obviously false. When you spit that one back up, the others often come along for the ride. It’s a confusing experience, but it’s MARvelous.

    • Kq

      PREACH.

  • moto_librarian

    It is fascinating to watch how some of her followers react now that they find themselves on the other side of the equation. Most of them never bat an eye when TAP spreads her pernicious lies about formula feeding, and you can bet that many of them are only too happy to pile on when it comes to shaming formula feeding mothers. Several people (including myself) have challenged them to think about whether or not anything that TAP posts qualifies as accurate information, and to realize that the hurt that they are feeling is all too familiar to those of us who are routinely targeted by her and her followers. This page’s existence was never about educating anyone – it’s a typical mean girls forum designed to shame anyone who doesn’t live up to TAP’s narrow definition of a good mother.

    • Ellen Mary

      The very name SHOULD tip people off to that . . . WTHeck is an ‘alpha parent’ . . . Parents do not now, and never have travelled in packs . . . We are all the Alpha human to our sweet little betas . . .

      • Elizabeth A

        I am pretty sure I wound up as beta in a household of ravening alphas, actually… At least, I think that was the message behind DD’s declaration that today was Daughter’s Day, when you’re supposed to bring your daughter cinnamon toast in bed.

      • The Bofa, Being of the Sofa

        The very name SHOULD tip people off to that . . . WTHeck is an ‘alpha parent’

        I hinted at this below, but, yeah.

        Since when is being a self-proclaimed “alpha-parent” a good thing?

        • Siri

          Again, I can only assume you don’t see yourself as an alpha parent. Which is probably part of why you’re so popular on here. 🙂

          • Siri

            If you thought you were one, you’d say, What the heck is wrong with being an alpha parent?!

          • The Bofa, Being of the Sofa

            If you thought you were one, you’d say, What the heck is wrong with being an alpha parent?!

            I guess that’s the problem.

            Who in the heck thinks they are such great parents to call themselves an “alpha” parent? And how can anyone take a person who proclaims to be such a great parent seriously?

          • The Bofa, Being of the Sofa

            Even Jan Brady had to be voted “Most Popular Girl in the Class”

          • Amy M

            Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!@!!!!

          • Siri

            1. Stupid people with an exaggerated sense of self-worth. 2. With great difficulty.

          • KarenJJ

            Her poor kids, relegated to Beta status..

          • The Bofa, Being of the Sofa

            Ha. At first glance, I thought that said “relegated to Bofa status,” and I thought, indeed, her poor kids…

          • Young CC Prof

            I read that as “betta status,” as in very small fish that are easy to raise in tanks.

            Kids like that would be boring, I must say.

          • Sue

            I’d re-name TAP “Gamma Grade” – better aliteration than C-grade…

          • Ellen Mary

            I am guessing you are talking to Bofa, because I am NOT popular on here! ROFL. I am more popular than say ‘I win’ or ‘Poop on Dr. Amy’ but that hardly says much!

          • Siri

            EVERYONE is popular with me today because a) I’m in hospital and have just had my first meal in 72 hours and b) I’ve been bumped up to the private wing and the food is bloody gorgeous! Yay greedyguts! I love you all! (No, it’s not calorie-induced euphoria. I’m just a really mellow, loving gal).

          • Siri

            Here’s hugs to you, Ellen Mary (( )), kisses for Bofa xx, and a laurel and hearty handshake to the jolly lot of you. P.s. I’ve also had fentanyl and morphine.

          • Siri

            P.p.s. don’t tell anyone, but I quite fancy my surgeon.

          • Elizabeth A

            I thought the surgeon who did my c/s looked like Alan Alda.

            My post-partum follow-up visit had some unpleasant shocks in it about that.

          • Siri

            Yeah… pretty sure those recovery nurses (male or female) I wanted to marry would have turned out to be rather ordinary-looking people after my drug haze wore off…

          • Ellen Mary

            I fancied my anesthesiologist . . . He had the biggest wedding band I had ever seen, so I guess he had someone who knew he was very fancy.

          • Siri

            I’ve fallen in love with every recovery nurse who’s ever given me iv morphine! They’ve all been the world’s most beautiful creatures in my post-op eyes..

          • Dr Kitty

            The last time I was in recovery the delightful anaesthetist and I discussed his upcoming civil partnership, and I hope to goodness he took no notice of my morphine influenced suggestions for jazzing up the reception!

            Mostly I loved him because he checked my notes and went “oh, you’ll need more morphine than the average punter. Keep breathing, ok, because I am ramping this UP.”

          • Roadstergal

            The surgeon who did my collarbone is totally hot. And, demonstrably, has great hands. Happy recovery, and consider stool softeners… (OMG, I am usually very, very regular, but opiate pain relief totally put a cork in things.)

          • Bombshellrisa

            I am guessing you are your nurse’s favorite patient and the darling of the ward : )

          • Dr Kitty

            Get well soon Siri!

      • Squillo

        Generally speaking, anyone who has to identify him/herself as “alpha” isn’t.

  • mythsayer

    It’s true fear mongering. My CS scar was like 5 inches. My TT scar extends behind my hip bones because my excess skin extended around my hips was so far back (had gastric bypass) and the TT scar went right over the CS scar… you’d never know I even had a CS and the TT scar is really small. I keloid scar and it’s STILL tiny. Even at it’s worst, my TT scar never looked like that. Artistic license is one thing. This is just trying to create terror.

  • Ellen Mary

    Some days I disagree or take exception . . . Some days I stand up and cheer . . . This is one of those days. THANK YOU! Promoting fear of Cesarean is emotionally damaging to women and it is potentially lethal to their babies.

    • Ellen Mary

      I went to her thread and posted this Pic of a Cesarean Mark from Google . . . It is super easy to see how great they look . . . I am literally *thrilled* with how low impact the actual Mark is on my body . . .

  • ArmyChick

    The Alpha Parent makes The Feminist Breeder look sane.

  • GiddyUpGo123

    Oh, I’ve got one! Let’s post a photo of a woman after a radical mastectomy. We’ll use the title “Breastfeeding Causes Nipple Damage.” What, you don’t like that Allison? Dramatic license! Move on.

    • Amy M

      Well, she would still insist that the woman in the picture should breastfeed. “No breasts? No problem! If you want it enough, it’ll work…you want to give the baby the best don’t you?”

      Then she would suggest getting donated milk, regardless of the source. I really hope that no women or babies have been harmed by Alpha Parent, but I believe I read a post somewhere about a woman who ended up with PPD, triggered by Alpha Parent and Lunatic Jerks.

      • Kate

        Or buy it from this lady I saw on my local Craigslist…who is selling hers for $5 an OUNCE. Because she eats Paleo.

        • Young CC Prof

          Dang, for that kind of money, I’d have kept pumping.

          • Siri

            Lol. 🙂

          • Kate

            I EP, and when I saw that, I was like, “Why am I wasting money feeding my kid with this?”

            Seriously, I could switch to formula and still come out ahead.

        • Cobalt

          Well I have quantum homeopathic breast milk, and I’m going to start selling it for $15 an ounce.

          • Young CC Prof

            If it’s homeopathic, why would the baby need a whole ounce?

          • Cobalt

            Because I wouldn’t make enough money selling it by the drop. Instead I take an ounce of my super quantum breast milk and add it to a gallon of organic water. Now it’s homeopathic too.

          • Siri

            Aah, water’s vague memory of breastmilk. .. make sure you don’t accidentally tell it ‘Hitler’ though!

          • Bombshellrisa

            I commented on that too-we will do reverse psychology and yell “joy”, “good health” and whatever affirmation at the water to infuse it.

          • Cobalt

            Another product to add to my lineup- noise canceling bras. So your breast milk doesn’t pick up on negative vibrations (anti-affirmations?) when other people tell you that you’re taking the breastfeeding thing way too far.

          • Amy M

            Can you wear them on your ears?

          • Cobalt

            For ears I have special crystal breastfeeding ear clips (because pierced ears are unnatural head mutilation). The crystals are holistically collected, chakra vibrational, and harmonically set in elfin silver that glows blue in the presence of anesthesiologists.

            These empowered ear clips will not only increase your milk supply and block negative vibrations, but will also warn you of impending epidural attacks.

          • Siri

            ELVEN, not elfin! And I rather think it’s not just silver, but true-silver (mithril). Plus, it’s not anaesthesiologists; it’s anaesthetiORClogists.

          • Siri

            P.s. and I think you mean impending attacks from epi-Barad-Dur-als.

          • Bombshellrisa

            We would be rich if we dropped our ethics and pandered to the woo

          • Siri

            ‘Money! Riches! Filthy Luca – sorry, lucre!’

          • Young CC Prof

            So if I take a drop of my breast milk and add it to a bottle of infant formula, can I claim the baby is breastfed? I’ll make sure to do the succussion correctly…

          • Cobalt

            Just breast milk fed. For the complete homeopathic breastfeeding experience, you have to flash your breasts at all your baby’s feeding equipment for 8 seconds every third day.

          • Young CC Prof

            Somehow I think pumping or combination feeding mothers have this taken care of, especially in the newborn days.

          • Cobalt

            Shhh! You’re educating the customer! I already had to make my product quantum to boost prices.

          • Bombshellrisa

            Remember the idiot who claimed water takes on a new molecular make up when you yell bad words at it? Maybe we can talk to the formula as we mix it! I once had a Bastyr woo type tell me that I could write words on a paper and tape the words inward to a water bottle and the words would infuse the water with intention. Maybe we ought to write down every benefit of breast feeding on a piece of paper and taping it to the bottle we feed our babies out of.

          • Cobalt

            I have special sparkly homeopathic paper just for that. Very reasonably priced.

          • Amy M

            I am continually astounded by the stupidity of some people. I work with very smart people—lots of PhDs and such. I kinda feel like I’m the dumbest one in the room sometimes. And then I see something like this, and realize that I am not that dumb after all.

          • Siri

            But is it epigenetic? Is it microbiomatically sound?

          • Young CC Prof

            No! It must NOT provoke epigenetic changes! Those cause obesity and asthma! All epigenetic changes do that, I read it on the Internet.

          • Siri

            I’m reclaiming epigenetic. It’s the new epic. Wow, that new Justin Bieber single is really epigenetic!

          • Cobalt

            It’s got QUANTUM written on the all natural label with an unvaccinated Sharpie. In English and some ancient runes I found in the back of a notebook from middle school. I have also applied henna tattoos to my breasts according to some custom I do not understand and have seriously misconstrued. All epigenes present are the detoxifying kind, as I have never been within a mile of a microwave oven.

            Surely this fine, wholesome, essential product is worth $15 per ounce!

            “And that’s cutting my own throat, it is!”

          • Young CC Prof

            Dang, you almost made me laugh loud enough to wake the baby.

        • Ellen Mary

          It is deeply, and I mean DEEPLY unethical to sell breastmilk . . . It really upsets me . . . It is also risky, there is no way to verify that Craigslist purchased breast milk is free of HIV and HepB . . .

          • Bombshellrisa

            Exactly-if you want to do some good and have a really awesome supply, consider pumping and donating to the milk bank. There was something on the news recently where the local milk banks were begging for donations for the NICU. I had a friend who did this.
            I imagine the woman selling her breast milk is a great deal like a home birth midwife-something is best, but she isn’t going to go out of her way and do a good deed, she wants to make sure she is making a profit from it

          • Cobalt

            Or they aren’t donor candidates but don’t see that as a reason not to go into business. For example, I can’t donate because I am taking blood pressure meds. It is safe for me to feed my baby, but they don’t want that in the donor pool. I think it would be an additional ethics violation to sell my milk with the meds in it, beyond the base violation of selling it in the first place. Same for smokers, drinkers, etc.

          • Siri

            There’s a woman on TAP asking for donor milk for her 16-month-old – why risk his health to give him something he doesn’t need?

        • araikwao

          There is no amount of internet acronyms that can capture the way I feel about that..

      • Siri

        I’ve heard you can have breastmilk extracted from your armpits using a long needle. Did I say ‘can’? I meant ‘should’.

    • Siri

      Or a photo of a woman post-vulvectomy and say, this is what vaginal birth can do to your bits! Dramatic licence!

  • Aria

    Allison Dixley is the internet equivalent of the guy on the side of the road screaming that world is going to end. She’s uneducated, and her brand of dramatics is only going to attract people who are equally determined to ignore facts because of their personal feelings..

    • Guesteleh

      It seems like half her readers are people who show up to scream at her. If she’s a troll (and I think she is), it’s brilliantly done.

      • Young CC Prof

        I did see a bunch of people who claimed they were unfollowing her after this picture was posted.

  • Amy M

    I don’t understand how she has any followers. She is SO over the top, she out-crazies most NCBers.

    • Guesteleh

      I think she’s a Poe. It’s too ridiculous to be real.

      • Siri

        Sadly I think she’s all too real.

    • Siri

      Her followers are crazy too. I’ve seen them advocate child abuse.

      • Smoochagator

        WHAT

        • Siri

          Oh yes. Disguised as ‘discipline’. Emotional abuse, physical abuse, it would turn your stomach.

          • Smoochagator

            That’s really sad and scary. Usually you see that in extreme religious fundamentalist groups, which seem to collect a lot of home birthing “crunchy” types, but now it’s creeping out into more secular spheres. Yikes.

    • The Bofa, Being of the Sofa

      Personally, I don’t understand why anyone would follow a self-proclaimed “alpha parent,” and, even if you did, why would you take any of it seriously and not just consider it a humor site?

      • Siri

        That can only mean you don’t define yourself as an alpha parent! There are plenty who do, and who feel validated by Allison’s breastfeeding supremacist tosh.

        • The Bofa, Being of the Sofa

          That can only mean you don’t define yourself as an alpha parent!

          But this is the problem. Even in a pack in the wild, the alpha member doesn’t get to define themselves as the alpha member. That has to be earned.

          • Cobalt

            And you can’t be an Alpha parent if you’re following an Alpha parent. If you’re following anyone, you’re a best a Beta.

          • The Bofa, Being of the Sofa

            That, too.

            Why would a self-proclaimed alpha parent want to follow her? They should be kicking her ass, right?

            That’s what members of the pack/tribe who want to be the alpha do – they kick out the current alpha.

            None of it makes any sense.

            Actually, that’s not true. It makes a whole lot of sense. It’s just high school.

            Of course, most people grow up. Some people, unfortunately, don’t

          • Siri

            Sure you can. Just ask Sunshine Mary’s loyal followers; they’re all self-defined Alphas.