The language of natural childbirth: English to English translation

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The most important thing you need to know about the philosophy of natural childbirth is that it is a business. It is a multimillion dollar business that includes trade organizations, public relations people and government lobbyists.

There’s nothing wrong with the fact that natural childbirth is a business. In a capitalist society like ours, when people have an idea, they monetize it. That’s the American way.

Once you understand that natural childbirth is a business, and that midwives, doulas and childbirth educators are the financial beneficiaries, you will never look at their claims the same way again. We understand this about other industries — you would never look to Big Oil for accurate information about solar power — and it makes us better consumers. Women need to bring the same level of skepticism to the claims of the natural childbirth industry as they would bring to the claims of the oil industry.

[pullquote align=”right” color=””]Once you understand that natural childbirth is a business, you will never look at its claims the same way again.[/pullquote]

Toward that end, I’ve created an helpful guide to the language of natural childbirth, an English to English translation of what members of the natural childbirth industry say and what they really mean. Unlike obstetricians who are educated and trained for vaginal birth, C-sections and operative vaginal deliveries, members of the natural childbirth industry can only profit from vaginal birth. That influences their views on the practices of modern obstetrics in the exact same way that the fact that Big Oil can only profit from oil influences their views on solar power.

So without further ado, let’s examine what members of the natural childbirth industry say and what they really mean in reference to their economic interest self-interest.

When they say: Vaginal birth is the standard,
What they really mean is that vaginal birth is the only form of birth they can profit from.

When they say: natural childbirth is better,
What they really mean is we don’t know how to use and therefore cannot profit from the latest life saving obstetric technology.

When they say: Unmedicated birth is healthiest,
What they really mean is we cannot provide epidurals so we cannot profit from them.

When they say: technology interferes with birth
What they really mean is we can’t profit from life saving technology because we don’t know how to use it.

When they say: Epidurals interfere with labor and harm babies,
What they really mean is we make our money by convincing women that they need us to deal with the pain of labor. A technology that safely and effectively abolishes labor pain destroys our business model.

When they say: C-sections are bad,
What they really mean is we can’t profit from C-sections.

When they say: C-sections are more expensive than vaginal births,
What they really mean is we can’t charge for C-sections.

When they say: Electronic fetal monitoring is useless,
What they really mean is electronic fetal monitoring leads to the identification of complications and therefore less profit for us.

When they say: Breech birth is a variation of normal,
What they really mean is C-sections for breech may save lives but they cost the natural childbirth industry money.

When they say: Prenatal screening tests are worthless because they don’t provide a definitive diagnosis,
What they really mean is prenatal screening tests rob of us of patients by identifying women and babies at high risk for pregnancy complications.

When they say: A healthy baby is not all that matters,
What they really mean is we cannot ensure a healthy baby if you follow our recommendations that your baby will be healthy.

These English to English translations represent just a few of the many mistruths, half truths and outright lies promoted by the natural childbirth industry; there are many more. You can figure them out for yourself if you just follow the money. When the natural childbirth industry makes a claim just apply this simple rule:

Does it enhance the profits of the natural childbirth industry?

If it does, you should view the claim with deep skepticism.

But aren’t the claims of obstetricians similar? No they’re not, for one very important reason. Obstetricians profit regardless of whether the birth is a vaginal delivery, a C-section or involves forceps or vaccuum extraction. Obstetricians are usually salaried or receive a global fee for the entirety of prenatal care and childbirth and that fee is unaffected by the use of epidurals or life saving technology. Obstetricians don’t profit by identifying pregnancy complications; often they profit less because the patient needs more time, more appointments and more attention during labor than a patient who has an uncomplicated vaginal delivery.

Obstetricians aren’t saints, but since they are capable of profiting from birth regardless of whether it is an uncomplicated vaginal birth without pain relief, a highly complicated C-section proceeded by every technological innovation ever invented, or anything in between they have no economic incentive to downplay complications, venerate C-sections, or lie about the benefits and risks of epidurals.

In contrast, midwives, doulas and childbirth educators of the natural childbirth industry can only profit from uncomplicated, unmedicated vaginal birth; therefore it is in their economic interest to deny or disregard complications, demonize C-sections, and ignore the excruciating pain of labor and the suffering that it causes.

Listen carefully to the claims of midwives, doulas and childbirth educators; apply the same skepticism that you would apply to any industry; and, above all, follow the money. An obstetrician has no incentive to deprive women of uncomplicated, unmedicated vaginal births. The natural childbirth industry, on the other hand, has a tremendous financial incentive to deprive women and babies of life saving, pain relieving, highly technological care. Who is more likely to tell you the truth about what is safest and healthiest for you and for your baby?