Just what we need, Onision mansplainin’ breastfeeding to us womenfolk

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Don’t you just love it when men “mansplain” breastfeeding to women?

What is “mansplaining”?

According to Urban Dictionary, it’s:

… explanations delivered with rock solid confidence of rightness and that slimy certainty that of course he is right, because he is the man in this conversation.

Consider these gems from YouTube “entertainer” Greg Jackson, also known as Onision.

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Why don’t all moms breastfeed their babies? Your breasts are literally designed to feed them. What are you a moron?

And:

How could you have two tits hanging from your chest most of your life and not know what they’re meant for?

Formula moms: Failed parents.

And:

“Formula costs so much, why are babies so expensive?” Hey, genius, you got two sacks of free milk hanging from your chest. Use them.

What is it about some men that makes them think they have the right to tell women when and how to use their body parts?

Is their arrogance a testosterone problem, a stupidity problem … or both?

What makes Greg think he knows ANYTHING about breastfeeding? Let me guess: He saw one woman breastfeed and he thinks that makes him an expert, not merely capable of shooting his mouth off as if he knows what he’s talking about, but compelled to be obnoxious because he knows better than women what is good for them and for their children.

The idea that women’s bodies are their own to control is apparently a concept too sophisticated for him to understand, so let’s make it easy for him:

Don’t tell women what to do with their ovaries.

Don’t tell them what to do with their uteri.

Don’t tell them what to do with their vaginas.

And don’t tell them what to do with their breasts.

Worry about your own body parts, Greg, and we’ll worry about ours. Women don’t need breastfeeding mansplained to them and certainly not by you.

  • AV

    Yes, Onision is an a-hole. But what has his douchery to do with him being a man? If I got a dollar for everytime a woman, especially feminist woman, tells men how we should live our lives, change, we are morons, why circumcision is a non issue and so on, I could quit my dayjob.
    And remember, Onision declare himself a feminist. A laidies man.

  • Lawrence Newman

    A bit like you womansplainin’ the foreskin to us men, right?

  • Nikki Mador

    Dr. Amy, I love your blog. Please keep up the good work.

  • DelphiniumFalcon

    Twatwaffle is a good one too! Also douchecanoe.

  • sdsures

    What an arrogant, misogynistic *****.

  • lawyer jane

    Thank you for introducing this bizarre personage to me. To be honest I think it might be impossible for anyone older than 30 to understand the phenomenon of a youtube/Twitter star! It’s like performance art but more intense.

    • Sarah

      I’m 30 and I don’t get it.

  • Allie P

    i am currently breastfeeding — as in typing with one hand while cradling my infant with the other– and I’d love to tell this marginal internet celebrity to go kiss my ass. my kid has had two ounces of formula this month, but for the first two months of her life, she had closer to two ounces a day, and it helped my supply!

  • Froggggggg

    How old is he? About 17, judging by these little pearls of wisdom?

  • Who?

    I used to work for a fellow who indulged in this behaviour, and he was also a master at it. He’d honed it on his first two wives, and was practising for the third (already pregnant) but did it with his staff and colleagues just to keep his hand in.

    Best Day Ever was when in an unguarded moment he did it to me in a meeting with two other people. Things changed a lot after that. If only marriages worked like good workplaces.

  • PrimaryCareDoc

    Oh. My. God. From the YouTube Wiki-

    “Jackson’s fan-base is predominantly American females in the 11 to 16 age demographic.”….

    “Jackson married his second wife in 2012. Her name is Taylor Anderson, but better known as her alias on Youtube, ‘Laineybot’.

    Taylor came into the picture as a fangirl of Onision in late 2011 and in September. After one of his break ups with Shiloh, Taylor began to tweet him. Onision started to reply to her both via his forums and twitter every so often over the next few months although he had gotten back together with Shiloh, that is until their final break up by Late December 2011/early January of 2012. It is believed that they started interacting with one another more, via Skype and other ways of communication. Then they met in person when Onision (secretly) flew down to New Mexico where she lives. He decided to rent a house there and he did until she graduated high school, as she was only 17.

    Onision and her had tried to keep their relationship a secret, perhaps because he knows of the backlash he will receive for dating another under age girl.”

    • Who?

      He’s got that man/child thing going on, very attractive to girls in that age range. Which was one thing back in the day when all it did was sell records (Peter Frampton, anyone?).

      Sounds like a predatory creep, wonder how long this young wife will last-until she’s not so young, or wakes up to his abuse, whichever comes first.

      • Mishimoo

        He is 30. 30!! To borrow from Tumblr, I can’t even.

      • An Actual Attorney

        If some 30 year old moved to my town to stalk my high school age daughter, the cops would have to be called. On me. For murder.

        • Megan

          My thoughts exactly. But my husband would’ve fought me to get to him first… I imagine getting shot with a civil war rifled musket with a miniball wouldn’t feel too good.

        • Who?

          Quite so. Though I’m sure you could devise a way of getting rid of him without ending up in jail yourself.

          This young girl may not have had the benefit of parents to look after her interests, or even worse may have parents who are taken in by his charms, such as they are.

          • Megan

            I hear a very large dose of insulin is a great way to commit murder… I can think of a few inconspicuous places to inject it too. Just saying…

          • Who?

            Look I was thinking of more social shaming and getting rid of him that way, but whatever…it’s always advisable to have a back up plan. And I guess my plan would leave him free to predate on someone else.

            I’ve always been attracted by the icicle through the heart, myself.

          • Mariana

            That reminds me of a crazy true story. A friend of mine had her car stolen, she has diabetes and uses injectable insulin. She had to import her insulin and needles as they didn’t have that specific type close to where we lived, so she’d buy it in shipments good for 3 months. So, the criminals steal her car and find vials with liquid inside and lots of needles and syringes. They decide then to inject themselves with it (wanting to get high, maybe?). The police found the car the next day, with the two guys dead inside and a bunch of syringes around them (and a large part of her insuline gone)

          • An Actual Attorney

            Oh, don’t worry. I know many ways to make someone disappear for good. Career hazard.

          • Allie

            You’ve got to lime the body. My husband is stocking up on lime now (our daughter is 2 1/2) so the police don’t catch him purchasing a bunch of lime when he needs it ; )

          • Who?

            Nice.

            So many inventive-and practical-thoughts.

            Though was it lime in the bathtub that went wrong in the first season of Breaking Bad?

          • Roadstergal

            Time to call Mike – I’m sure he wouldn’t have any compunctions about ‘taking care’ of a creeper on underage girls.

          • I think that was hydrochloric acid. They had that figured out by the last season, though.

          • KeeperOfTheBooks

            See, here in Texas we have a wild hog problem.
            Problem, that is, unless you need to dispose of a body. Then having 200-300 pound omnivores who’ll eat anything (and I do mean ANYTHING) hanging around is something of a plus.

          • Who?

            He doesn’t look like he’d be more than a snack for a wild hog.

            Hypothetically speaking.

          • LibrarianSarah

            I know this is wrong but I just pictured your husband dumping a truckload of limes (the fruit) on the body and screaming “why isn’t this working.”

            My dad just says he will “take him out fishing in the middle of Sebago Lake.” Rumor has it that the lake is so deep and so cold that if you fall in at the deepest point all the air leaves your body and you sink right to the bottom never to be seen again. Now that is how you commit a murder.

          • sdsures

            Cement shoes?

          • LibrarianSarah

            Diving reflex.

          • DelphiniumFalcon

            My dad just likes to scare the crap out of people so he can watch them suffer. One guyguy dating my sister’s best friend spit on me on the bus in high school. My dad just gave him the evil eye as he was brought to the principal’s office then gave him the “I’m watching you” gesture as he left. He asked the assistant principal who that guy was and the assistant principal who we go to church with an knows my dad just smiles and says, “Oh, thats Delphi’s dad.” It’s been over ten years and this guy is in the marines now and has been deployed overseas several times. My dad still scares him shitless. He dropped my sister’s friend off at the end of the block to avoid running in to my dad for years.

            My dad’s a 6’2″ electric lineman that actually did/sometimes still does climb poles. His biceps are bigger than my thighs. Bald with the biker goatee and almost always wearing sunglasses as his job is outside. My mom has to alter his shirts sometimes because his shoulders are too big for shirts that fit his neck properly. She also has to alter his left work glove because he’s missing a finger. He’s kind of scary looking.

            He likes to take creepers like this Onision that won’t leave my sister or I alone after we’ve told them to go away, put his arm around them, smile, and speak quietly, “You know, I’m not afraid to go back to jail. They can feed me peanuts through the bars the rest of my life. It’ll be worth it after what I do to you. Stay away from my daughters.” Then pats him on the back and walks away.

            He’s never been the jail, I don’t think he’s even had a speeding ticket. But they don’t know that. And my husband puts it even my dad’s regular speaking voice is “shit-your-pants scary authority figure.”

            My sister and I can take care of ourselves now, but he still offers if needed.

          • sdsures

            I read way too much about serial killers not to be reasonably well-informed about hiding bodies and destroying evidence that might incriminate me. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kLG66ER0UUM

      • DelphiniumFalcon

        Anyone else getting that scene from a Simpson’s episode where Spring Break hosts have a chip in their hand which signals when the turn mid twenties and they’re instantly replaced with a newer, younger model? Because my mind totally went there.

    • MaineJen

      Eeeeeew.

  • monojo

    OT: Lifehacker article about low milk supply. All the usual cast of characters in the comments.
    http://vitals.lifehacker.com/low-milk-supply-don-t-give-up-breastfeeding-just-yet-1730805989
    ETA: The tone of the article is not judgmental at all, and the author very helpfully dismisses the woo-y ways to increase supply. There is a tiny hint of “the bottle may derail your breastfeeding goals,” but that is not the overall focus. Some of the commenters take that tiny hint and really run with it.

    • An Actual Attorney

      I read that article, but the first comment made me close my browser in disgust. I really don’t understand why breasts are the only organ that is expected to work every time.

      • Megan

        Yeah, I loved the women who was “less judgmental now” but says that she doesn’t believe any women who says they have low supply because it’s “just supply and demand.” If I could be bothered to care more about a random internet idiot, I’d have some choice words for her.

        • Who?

          We all know how well supply and demand works in our wonderful free market, too-everyone has all they need (shelter, food, work) at a price they can afford to pay, right?

          Right?

        • An Actual Attorney

          Isn’t that how the pancreas works with sugar and insulin? Those lazy diabetics.

          • Rachele Willoughby

            In the spirit of the NCB/lactivism movement I do, on occasion, tell my dad that he only has diabetes because he doesn’t “Trust Metabolism” and he’s being duped by Big Insulin.

        • Mariana

          Insuline production is also supply and demand, right? And some people have trouble with that too…

      • Sarah

        There’s uteruses and vaginas as well, of course. And placentas. They always work too, which is why nobody’s sections were necessary.

      • DelphiniumFalcon

        Then there’s Schrödinger’s penis.

        If it doesn’t perform its not his fault and the girl/guy must have been fugly. If it doesn’t perform it is his fault and he’s less than a man.

        Which statement is true? Hell if know, they both are until certain mysterious conditions are met?

  • Azuran

    I have a few ones for him:
    -Infertility treatment are so expensive.
    Hey genius, you have two balls full of free sperm between your legs. Use them.
    -How could you have a penis between your legs most of your life and not know what it’s meant for.
    Viagra using man = failed man.
    -Why don’t all men impregnate all the women they see. Your testicles and penis were literally designed to impregnate women. What are you, a moron?

  • briar

    This asshole calls people who eat meat “murderers” while he killed his own pet tortoise. He also has atrocious views on depression and thinks people who were abused were asking for it, even children.

    Vile piece of work, so this is none too surprising.

    • DelphiniumFalcon

      So who is this nutter and why are people paying attention to him?

      I mean I’m curious and all but I’m not going to lie, I’m not curious enough to Google this waste of space myself.

      • DelphiniumFalcon

        Never mind. My curiosity got the better of me. There’s an evening I’ll never get back. Also wracking my brain because I swear I saw him at Sakuracon in the mid 2000s before he was a YouTube star. Not sure though. Don’t know if he ever goes to Sakuracon but he’s in the right area and the con is huge. I don’t remember for sure which means he wasn’t totally awesome and we must exchange email addresses and he wasn’t a total creeper that I had to tell repeatedly to stop following me around the con or to stop following my underage sister. So if he was there and I did run into him, he was thoroughly unimpressive.

    • Sarah

      Well, there’s the rapist mentality again.

  • DelphiniumFalcon

    I don’t know how seriously I can take a person who presents themselves as commenting on a serious issue choosing the word “tits” for breasts. I mean there’s other words that don’t seem so bawdy. Boobs, boobies, fun bags, melons. It just seems to take away from his message.

    I mean tits is a funny word. But I think it’s one of those words that has to be used with precision. Otherwise it just kind of hangs out there. Like a pair of tits!

    I mean his whole delivery is wtf.

    If I want to talk to a guy about testicular or penile cancer do I choose to word my message as, “Hey dickweed, you’ve only been jerking it down there more than half your life now. You should know how your body is supposed to feel/look, you morons.”

    • MayonnaiseJane

      I’m no fan of that Onison dude… but I rather like “tits” for breasts. I think I’d rather mine were called that than anything else. *Shrug.*

  • Chelsie S

    This amazes me. I am always surprised when “feminist,” or “pro-choice,” or the modern man has strong opinions about breastfeeding.
    My pregnancy, my body, my breasts, my child, my choice. I
    had a massive PPH, my body was barely alive, my body never was able to produce enough milk. No matter what the lactavsts said and shamed me for- for my mental and physical health formula was necessary. To assume anything about a woman who chooses to formula feed is to assume you know them, and assume they have no sexual abuse or mental health stable enough to perform breastfeeding safely and enjoy it.
    My now one year old is thriving, never been sick, smart, and never once had an ear infection or anything of the sort. She’s not LESS than any other child her age and it makes me want to punch people in the face who imply she’s been disadvantaged. Geez, only privileged first world problems people could possibly say that.
    My next baby- I’ll try to breastfeed, if it’s working out and not exhausting me completely while caring for my first child then I’ll continue. Maybe a month, maybe a few months. Breastfeeding brought me great anxiety and stress. I panicked when out with my newborn at the thought of having to breastfeed near people. I couldn’t breastfeed in front of my own parents or in laws. My mental health is important, just as important as my precious children’s health.
    Only a privileged know it all could assume any woman who is formula feeding is a moron, and/or selfish. I shouldn’t ever have to explain myself. Ever.

    My pregnancy, my body, my breasts, my child, my choice.

    • Cartman36

      “To assume anything about a woman who chooses to formula feed is to assume you know them”

      YES, YES, YES… Thanks for posting this.

    • AmJam

      My wife also really disliked breastfeeding. She had a large supply so she kept at it for a year (and I think because I was breastfeeding our girls also she did not want to be excluded) and it’s the biggest thing she regrets about their first year. It deteriorated her mental health and she is much happier now that it is over (our girls are 18 months). People also look at her like she is crazy when she says she hated it. I’m sorry you had that experience, I’ve seen how rough it can be. Good for you for being able to choose the path that was healthier for you.

      • Chelsie S

        Im sorry that she felt that pressure and regrets that. It’s not fair that society places this above mental health. Nobody knows the story about each and every woman to say that breastfeeding is for everyone in every circumstance, and kids thrive with parents that are able to parent In Whatever way they feel is best. I’m sorry to hear she had a tough time and I hope she’s feeling great about parenting now. Thanks for sharing this

      • Kelly

        I had the same feelings about why I kept going. I had a great supply and so I felt obligated to keep at it. I really really wished that I had a “good” reason to stop such as low supply.

    • Allie

      I breastfed for almost 23 months and for the most part it sucks. It’s hard, it’s exhausting and it’s pretty thankless. My daughter loved it, but let’s face it – they’re not capable of appreciating it at that age, and frankly, why should they. Food is food. She loved breastfeeding because she was used to it. My nephew loved his baba (bottle) and soother because that’s what he was used to. And they are both extremely clingy with their mamas. That whole bonding thing is BS. They respond to care, regardless of who and how it’s provided. My daughter’s favorite teacher at day care is the one she threw up on because she cleaned her up afterwards just like mama or grandma would have, so she responded to that. Take care of yourself. It is absolutely your choice.

      • Allie

        Just to clarify, I wasn’t meaning to congratulate myself with the whole “it’s hard and exhausting” thing. It was my choice and it worked for us in our circumstances, but it wasn’t some glorious, magical thing, and I didn’t particularly enjoy it. Just wanted you to know you’re not alone and you’re certainly not a freak of nature or a child abuser.

        • Chelsie S

          Thank you for sharing, I truly admiring women who are successful apwith breastfeeding because it’s a lot of hard work and determination!

  • Anonymous

    Let’s see how it’d go if his wife was 100lbs and trying to deal with twins. I have a feeling he’d change his tune.

    • Sarah

      Or maybe he wouldn’t. I’m not sure which is worse.

    • Who?

      I have no doubt at all she’s 100lbs. Fat chicks, right??

      That, by the way, was sarcasm mixed with contempt for him and a dash of disgust.

      • Sarah

        Well, he seems to have a thing for pubescents.

  • Kelly

    Just had my child almost a week ago and formula has made my life so much better. I got eight hours of sleep the second night in the hospital. I have been able to take 2-3 hour naps while my Mom is here. I am not stressed out every time she wakes up. I cleaned my house yesterday and it felt great. My mental health has gotten so much better since I delivered and I am not showered by hormones. At this time with both kids, I was a wreck and thought I was drowning. When he has a child and has that child hooked up to his bleeding nipples every two hours, then he would understand how ridiculous he sounds. I keep asking my husband why I did not do this sooner. Also, this website and FFF has helped me fight off the guilt I have felt while I dry up my milk this week. I am so thankful to live in a country that has clean water.

    • Amazed

      Congrats on your new arrival! I wish all of you much joy. Thrilled by this change in your new parenthood experience.

    • araikwao

      Congrats on your (undoubtedly) beautiful baby! Glad things are going well!!

    • Jen

      How did the nurses treat you when you asked for a bottle? I’m really afraid of being helpless in bed with a c-section scar and having to deal with mean lactivist nurses.

      • Kelly

        They did not bat an eye. I am not at a baby friendly hospital and they gave me a formula samples. This is the second time I have delivered there. Last time I started out nursing and each of the nurses and the lactation consultant were pretty awesome. They gave me formula samples then too because I was intending on giving formula every now and again.

      • Charybdis

        You might want to talk with/tell your OB that you plan to use formula so they are on board with your wants. If you have already chosen a pediatrician, let them know as well, so they can also be on board and can write orders/a prescription for formula. Check with the hospital and tell them in no uncertain terms that you plan to use formula, either exclusively or as a supplement. Ask if they restrict access to formula and if a prescription and/or written doctor’s orders are required. If so, get them lined up before you go into the hospital. You might consider getting some ready-to-feed formula in the little 2 ounce nursette bottles and have them available in your room. They come with their own little nipple caps that you just screw on, feed the baby and toss the rest. I LOVED those little things. That way, you are not at the mercy of any lactivist nurses anti-formula agendas. Spell it out clearly beforehand so there is no confusion when you do deliver. Put it in your “birth plan” if you are doing one. I’d be tempted to write it on my forehead in black sharpie, maybe even across my breasts as well. Can’t make things too clear these days.

      • Hannah

        In my experience, the nurses hated the lactivists and made sure to actively support whatever choice I made. Obviously it depends on the hospital but I have heard from a few friends that the aftercare nurses were much more supportive than the lactation staff hence them being called Booby Trap Enablers.

  • Roadstergal

    Who is this doucheweasel, and why do I need to GAF what he thinks of my tits?

    • Mattie

      It’s only really relevant in the sense that he has a young, fairly impressionable audience.

      • Roadstergal

        That’s true. I GAF about all sorts of things I should have laughed off when I was young.

    • Sarah

      Because he’s a man, and he knows better than you do about your own body, and his manly views are ever so important.

    • DelphiniumFalcon

      I was wondering the exact same thing. Except replace doucheweasle with douchenozzel.

      Maybe he should do his duty to edumacate us bimbos by giving himself a case of gynecomastia and induce lactation.

      What? He refuses to do this AND says that’s not how it works? He’s just not trying hard enough!

  • Squillo

    OT: Lenz has prevailed in the 9th circuit in Lenz v. Universal Music corp. Per the Washington Post, the court ruled that “[w]hen a company like Universal wants to send a takedown notice under the Digital Millennium Copyright Act (DMCA), it must first consider whether the case in question could be construed as a legitimate ‘fair use’ of the copyrighted material.”

    • Amy Tuteur, MD

      My lawyers sent me the opinion. Many of the same people involved in that case were involved in mine.

      • FortyMegabytes

        At the time I was a little disappointed to hear that you had settled, Dr. Tuteur. You were in the right – fight to the end! But seeing that Lenz v Universal Music has been going on for eight years (and still isn’t over), I begin to see why you didn’t want to spend all your time and energy on the fight.

        So many corporations win because they can just wear down folks who don’t want to spend a decade fighting back, it’s nice to see a win for the good guys.

  • Angharad

    Also I’m sitting here wondering what he thinks will happen when women who planned to formula feed read his tweets.

    “Wow, isn’t it weird that human babies can only eat formula? And on an unrelated note, why are my breasts hard and leaking white stuff?”

    How could you have two tits hanging from your chest most of your life and not know what they’re meant for?

    “Oh… Oh! Lightbulb moment! I bet I could do breastfeeding. What a revolutionary idea that I had never known about before!”

  • Sarah

    I hope he’s a creationist. That’s really the only excuse for thinking anyone’s body was designed, as opposed to having evolved, to do anything.

    Also Greg the Geniusm if you’re reading, the reason I don’t use the ‘free’ sacks of milk hanging from my chest is because NOT HAVING TO DO ALL THE NIGHTFEEDS IS FUCKING PRICELESS.

    • DelphiniumFalcon

      I think even people that believe the human body was designed by God would give him a double take. Human breasts may be designed to produce milk but humans, based on available evidence of looking at the waiting room of my job, were also designed to have a variety of features and preferences. Which would include breasts with less glandular tissue, overly sensitive nipples, inverted nipples, not having that oh so special bonding experience, malnutrition, and so forth.

      Whether it’s evolution or creationism, they both end up at the same answer: breasts make milk but some breasts do it better than others.

      So either way he’s talking out of his ass.

      • ChrisKid

        Which is not what that part of his body was made for. How does he not know that?

        • DelphiniumFalcon

          You win the interwebz.

  • Megan

    Apparently he hasn’t figured out how to use his brain or he’d be smart enough to stay out of the whole breastfeeding argument at all! Seriously I think most men are smart enough to just keep their mouths shut. This guy is obviously “special.”

  • Angharad

    I never knew failure as a parent would have so few long- or short-term effects on my daughter’s happiness or health. Apparently it’s not a big deal at all!
    I will say it’s nice to see our monthly grocery bill decreasing as we stop buying formula and switch to milk (seriously, milk is so much cheaper!) but having a baby is still kind of expensive. Prenatal care, hospital bill, diapers and wipes, baby-proofing supplies, developmentally appropriate toys, new clothes every three months, etc. all have to be paid for whether you breast or bottlefeed.

    • demodocus

      Amen!

  • Squillo

    The only disturbing thing about this is that this gibbering man-child managed to reproduce.

  • Charybdis

    Is it wrong that I’ve been reading his name as “Onionson”? And I’d be likely to pump milk, fill an SNS, shave his hairy nipple, strap that puppy on and give him the baby to feed. For a whole weekend. Including comfort nursing, if the baby was into that, cluster feeding, night feedings, etc. He can have the entire breastfeeding experience, complete with sleep deprivation and the relative inability to do anything other than feed and tend the baby. I would then laze on the couch watching TV/play computer games/read/whatever I wanted to do and occasionally ask what we were having for lunch/supper and offering “helpful advice” when the baby cried. Feed it! Change it! Feed it AND change it! Bring me a Dr. Pepper next time you are in the kitchen, would you?

    He wins the Asshattery Award.

    • Sarah

      Indeed, several of us here have already decided that the penalty for a man who gobs off about breastfeeding needs to be forcibly induced lactation. Complete with off-label use of potentially dangerous medication and mastitis. It’s really the only way they’ll learn.

    • KeeperOfTheBooks

      I admit, I did too, and I honestly thought the original person who posted the link had been “taken” by someone who was basically someone Onionizing via Twitter.
      Which says quite a lot about what he had to say.

  • demodocus

    Oh, he’s a real catch, isn’t he?
    My bard couldn’t understand why women were upset about being legally obligated to have a transvaginal ultrasound to show them a 6 week old embryo’s heartbeat before an abortion. He, however, was freaking smart enough to not mention it to anyone except for a single comment to me along the lines of “what’s the big deal?”. Once he saw* me get one (to check for our munchkin’s existence), he was horrified at the idea of making women do that.
    *he’s not completely blind, though he couldn’t see the monitor and the woman doing the TVUS turned on the sound so he could hear the heartbeat. Their policy usually says not to that early. He cried in happiness; it was cute.

    • KeeperOfTheBooks

      I remember hearing DD’s heartbeat for the first time. One of the most beautiful sounds I ever heard.

  • Dr Kitty

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/mom-with-als-shares-incredible-breastfeeding-story-in-viral-facebook-post_55f2eb76e4b063ecbfa3fdf9

    Guys, have you seen this?
    It makes me sad.
    Not least because the baby likely has a 50% chance of having inherited her mother’s Familial ALS.
    This poor woman is martyring herself to give her baby breastmilk, not taking pain meds, worsening her own nutritional status, dealing with a lot of pain and inconvenience.
    Obviously, she feels it is worthwhile, and I support her decision to do this, but it still makes me feel sad for her, that for her being the best mother she can be requires so much pain.

    • KeeperOfTheBooks

      That poor mom. I’m glad she got the support she needed to do what she wanted, but still. Ugh.
      Also, that baby is SO FREAKING CUTE. I’m having massive baby fever here!

      • DelphiniumFalcon

        Stupid ovaries need to stfu. They don’t know what good timing is!

    • Daleth

      I don’t see her as martyring herself. She’s doing everything she can do to mother that child before she leaves her motherless on this earth. Breastfeeding is the one thing she CAN do (with, of course, a lot of help)… it’s not like she can run around outside and play with her daughter. I hope this gives her some peace and I hope her daughter grows up knowing how much her mama loved her.

      It’s really really sad.

    • Cobalt

      I wouldn’t begrudge her anything that lets her feel like she’s maximizing the amount of mothering she is giving her child in the tragic circumstances she’s in. I am not so kind about her personal feelings, personal experience, and personal way of coping with a devastating situation being used as a reference for anyone but her.

  • RMY

    This dude’s biggest claim to fame is “The Banana Song” — http://youtube.wikia.com/wiki/Onision

    Also, he’s an accused rapist. Yikes.

    • Sarah

      Actually that doesn’t surprise me. The mentality that leads a man to think a woman ought to use her body in the way he’s decided she should, regardless of her feelings on the matter, is very much on display in his tweets and is of course an essential part of being a rapist. If a man has no respect for a woman’s feelings about how she wants to use her breasts, he’s unlikely to suddenly develop any where her vagina is concerned.

    • Mattie

      Like I know a lot of youtubers are accused rapists, and at least one is in prison for nasty things but I didn’t think Onision was an accused rapist, a nasty rape apologist asshat (which is bad anyway so yeh) but not an actual rapist?

      • KarenJJ

        Nowadays I have doubts about any “rape apologist’s” background. There’s an awful lot of women that get raped and enough men out there giving commentary about how she must have done something to cause it…

      • We have absolutely no evidence or much reason to think he is a rapist, and I would not even dream of making that accusation. He is possibly a statutory rapist (he met his current wife when she was 17 and he was 30), but again, I don’t know if they were sexually active at the time or not.

        As KarenJJ said, though, the words he said mean something. They mean he doesn’t see women as full, independent persons, but rather subjects who should do what he says with their bodies. Expressing rape apologia is correlated with actually being a rapist; it’s not evidence, it will never be evidence, but for your own safety you should still stay far away from the guy at the bar telling the “hilarious” rape jokes. So, yeah, there it is.

        Onision is skeezy, and that puts up enough red flags that I would not trust him with my drink or my body, regardless of whether he has actually raped someone or not.

  • Who?

    It’s his wife I feel sorry for. If he’s prepared to be this publicly obnoxious over something that concerns him not at all, imagine how he behaves at home.

    She needs a better husband. Or none until her powers of choosing improve.

    Also, the child, who most likely will one day reveal itself as not perfect, particularly with such a judgemental dad.

    • Guested

      I told my ex husband that I did not intend to breastfeed. He told me that his child would recieve the very best and not breastfeeding was not an option for me. Every day I am grateful that we are no longer married.

      • demodocus

        yikes

      • Who?

        Glad you’re out of there. We’re hearing a lot about domestic violence in our world at the moment, and I’m supporting a number of friends going through divorces. The controlling behaviour of some of the husbands-including trying to manipulate their wife’s (femaie) lawyers, needs to be seen to be believed.

        • Guested

          Thanks for actually calling it domestic violence. It gets really hard explaining to people that even though he didn’t hit me my divorce was needed and justified and I didn’t just “give up because of a couple of fights”.

          • demodocus

            Mental abuse can be the worst, and the least understood ’cause the other two kinds are so much more visible.

          • Charybdis

            My evil ex was a prize abuser. He never hauled off and hit me, but there was plenty of mental, emotional, financial and sexual abuse. Yes, you can be raped if you are married. And trying to get other people to understand that “arguing occasionally and a difference of opinion” is no reason to get divorced. You know, get counseling, work on your marriage, all the advice you get from those who don’t know the reality of the situation and wouldn’t believe you even if you told them the extent of the abuse, doesn’t help when you are looking for support to leave. I’m glad I’m gone and I’m glad you are out as well.

          • Guested

            There has to be a class somewhere in knowing how to walk the line. My horrible ex always knew what to do to crush me without giving me a story that would sound like any big deal. Like he would tickle me which sounds innocent, but to me tickling feels bad and nervy and it triggers my asthma and it would go on really long and I couldn’t breathe and I was crying and begging him to stop and he wouldn’t until I agreed to do what he wanted. I tried to tell our therapist but even he was just “Lol, tickling is affection!”
            Nothing feels better than being out of that kind of relationship and I am so happy you are free as well.

        • Mishimoo

          My father (whom I no longer talk to because he was acting weird around my kids and claimed I was imagining it/overreacting) has recently remarried and has reportedly gone straight to abuse already. According to my siblings, his new wife has to fill out a spreadsheet each time she uses the dishwasher. How many dishes, detergent, which cycle, and sign it. They only live together part-time and he expects her to maintain the spreadsheet regardless. Knowing him, he would have made it sound fair and reasonable. I hope she realises how bad he is and leaves him soon, because if he’s doing that already, how bad is he going to get?

          • Who?

            Poor woman that is terrible. What goes on in his mind to impose such rules?

            There was a woman at the butcher shop the other day, being incredibly mean and cruel to her husband. You never know what goes on behind closed doors-it would be easy to judge her, but I wondered whether that is her only outlet.

            After three high profile deaths as a result of domestic violence (four including the man who shot himself) in the last week, perhaps there will be enough momentum to make some changes to help women recognise that what they are dealing with is not okay, there is help and that it’s possible to safely accept that help.

            And good on you for protecting your kids. You’ve alluded to your difficult upbringing, and you’ve broken the cycle. That’s a wonderful achievement.

          • Mishimoo

            I imagine it would be much like what goes on in Onision’s head, where he is being attacked by those awful women who refuse to respect his authority. They even have the same opinions on breastfeeding and circumcision.

            Things really need to change, the amount of domestic violence is ridiculous especially given that there is still so much that people don’t recognise as abuse.

            Thanks, I didn’t realise how bad he was until I started judging his actions by what I would expect from my friends, and talking to my (male) friends about his behaviours. They all expressed disgust and surprise that he’s not in jail. I tried to talk to him and set boundaries, he claimed I was insane and then it just snowballed from there. He thankfully has no way to guilt-trip me back into a relationship.

          • KeeperOfTheBooks

            *snort*
            Fond though my accountant husband is of spreadsheets, if he tried that one with me, he’d become very intimately acquainted with the spreadsheet, and that rather quickly. Like, he’d probably be legally married to the thing in several states.
            ETA: also, good on you for doing what you need to to keep your kids safe. My parents don’t even know that DD exists. I’ve seen what sort of parents they are, and I’m not risking DD’s physical, mental, or emotional health anywhere near them. Haven’t talked to them in nearly three years, and it was one of the better decisions I’ve ever made, if one of the harder.

          • Who?

            With you on possible uses for the spreadsheet.

            And well done you re DD and your family as well. It can’t be easy but sounds like it has put you on a good path.

          • Mishimoo

            Thanks! I’m glad you’re protecting your kid too, it’s really not worth the risk.

          • KeeperOfTheBooks

            Indeed.

      • KeeperOfTheBooks

        *cringes*
        Good heavens.
        I got nothin’ besides a) I can see why he’s an ex-husband and b) I’m glad you’re out of that situation.

      • Bugsy

        Glad you’re out of there. Wish my friend the Crazy Lactivist had done something similar. At the point we “unfriended” them on Facebook, her husband had taken to posting routinely on the benefits of breastmilk. Wish he’d spontaneously lactate.

  • wookie130

    I think for his remarks to fall under the category of “mansplaining” he must first be a man. He can call us all back and attempt to reengage us when he grows some pubes.

    • MaineJen

      So…boysplaining? Or manchildsplaining?

  • Cobalt

    Wait, let me guess…he was “just joking”.

    • NoLongerCrunching
      • Cobalt

        That’s the one.

        Next he’ll have been “taken out of context” and “ganged up on by angry man haters who deliberately don’t hear what he clearly didn’t actually say” and “shouldn’t be subject to consequences for trying to police other’s bodies” and “of course he didn’t mean ALL women, just the ones who deserved be be shamed and marginalized”.

        By this time tomorrow it will be all the women’s fault for having breasts outside the home in the first place.

        • Roadstergal

          #NotAllBullies

        • AirPlant

          He already “Can’t figure out why people with medical issues would think his statements apply to them”

          • Sarah

            Couldn’t be anything to do with him not having specified that they didn’t, of course. Personally, I have no medical issues and would be greatly disappointed to be considered a good parent by this cumrag of a man.

  • Elisabetta Aurora

    He looks (and thinks) like he’s 22.

    • Sue

      Age or IQ?

  • Anna

    So many men bully their wifes for failing to breastfeed because they truly believe it offers some exclusive benefit, whereas formula is deadly… Yeah, they are victims to all this propaganda as well. But why not use their brain a little bit and realize that life isn’t that simple and black-and-white.

    • RMY

      I think some men also just think “breastmilk is free, formula is expensive”– if my mom had failed to breastfeed, that would’ve been my dad’s reason for being mad about it.

      • Liz Leyden

        The one time I managed to produce 15 cc of breastmilk, my husband said “This is going to save us so much money.” He’s lucky I didn’t slap him.

    • AirPlant

      The guys at work like to “joke” about how breastfeeding meant that they never had to get up in the night. They also think it is fun to boast about never changing a diaper because “She was just so much better at it”.

  • Cartman36

    “How could you have two tits hanging from your chest most of your life and not know what they’re meant for?”

    A dick is for meant procreation and you don’t see me online telling all the menfolk what do with theirs.

    Edit… Can I say dick here???

    • Elisabetta Aurora

      “How could you have two tits hanging from your chest most of your life and not know what they’re meant for?”

      The same reason so many men can have a dick hanging between their legs and still not know how to use it properly.

      • AirPlant

        They are meant for getting free drinks. Duh.

        • Megan

          I thought they were meant for getting beads at Mardi Gras… You mean…they’re not? Shucks.

          • AirPlant

            Well mine have a convenient can holding mechanism so who I am to say that they can’t be multipurpose?

          • Megan

            Oh yes, mine are great drink shelves. They didn’t work so much for breastfeeding despite my best efforts but they haven’t been useless!

          • Kelly

            I thought mine were to swing them to and fro, to tie them in a knot or a bow and then to hang very very low.

          • Roadstergal

            Can you throw them over your shoulder, like a continental soldier?

          • Kelly

            Ha ha. Yes.

          • The Bofa on the Sofa

            And where are you going to tuck your cell phone when wearing hootchie skirts?

          • Cobalt

            Or yoga pants…

            Seriously, what is up with the relative lack of functional pockets on women’s clothes!

          • Roadstergal

            I like yoga pants for casual weekend wear, and particularly the snug fit. I therefore often wear bicycle jerseys or the like to give me some place to put my phone, wallet, and keys. I look pretty dweebish.

            Tucking my phone back away in my jersey is also a great way to freak out the ‘cell phones cause cancer’ crowd. I’d put it into my cleavage, but you’d struggle to fit a little flip-phone in there.

          • Poogles

            “Seriously, what is up with the relative lack of functional pockets on women’s clothes!”

            OMG, this is SUCH a pet peeve of mine! I had a male coworker of mine recently ask if I knew what the small “pocket” in the bottom of his regular front pocket in his dress pants was for (apparently watches??) and I was so irked to discover those little “extra” pockets exist, lol! I have such a hard time finding dress pants with actual, functional front pockets at all, and here the men’s pants have “double-pockets”! LOL!

          • DelphiniumFalcon

            My husband discovered the oddity of the missing pockets on feminine clothing when we were first married and doing laundry. He grabbed a pair of my work pants and went to make sure the back pockets were tucked it when he realized the back pockets were fake.

            So he asked me wtf was wrong with my pants and I had to explain most feminine pants don’t have real pockets or they’re not very deep. He didn’t believe me until I showed him all my other pants.

            He decided that feminists need to latch on to this problem right away because that’s just a complete injustice right there.

        • An Actual Attorney

          I was thinking of the line from Erin Brokovitch.

      • DelphiniumFalcon

        I thought they were good kitten holders. Stuff ’em in your cleavage and let them take a nap and purr away. Or maybe my cat was just the reincarnation of a dirty old man. He really liked boobs.

        They’re also good phone stands.

    • And here I thought it was just for peeing with…

  • Vanessa

    He thinks he knows about breastfeeding because he got married, had a baby and his wife had no problems breastfeeding so now he thinks all women should be like his wife. What an asshole!

    • AirPlant

      I had a coworker whose wife had a homebirth in the bathtub. He was surprisingly vocal about how he believed that women were wimps for going to the hospital and how he thought pain relief should not be offered because his wife got through just fine and even a small chance of risk to the baby wasn’t worth it for something so unneeded.

      • KeeperOfTheBooks

        Perhaps I’m just crazy, but why on earth did he think it was his business while in the workplace to tell women how to use their vaginas?

        • AirPlant

          Because he is a weird conservative christian nutjob with no sense of personal boundaries and an overinflated sense of his own importance. He also liked to tell me I was going to be an old maid when I wasn’t married by 25…

          • demodocus

            lovely fellow.

          • KeeperOfTheBooks

            Um. Wow.
            The man sounds like a massive HR lawsuit waiting to happen.

          • Dr Kitty

            Why is always the people with the worst opinions who feel compelled to share them?

            Ah yes, because only the worst type of people feel able to disregard personal space, boundaries and social etiquette in the mistaken belief that their opinions are uniquely worthy of attention, despite all evidence to the contrary.

            A very cold “well, you are entitled to an opinion, but I can’t say that I agree, and I’m not sure I care to discuss this further” and then walking away is my usual response.

      • Fallow

        Ha ha, I love it. To this fool, any minute risk of pain relief is untenable. But the large, present risk of a birth without medical professionals, into feces-contaminated water, far from life-saving equipment? Now there’s a risk that makes sense!

      • Azuran

        He should let his wife hold on to his testicles during the birth, then I’d care to hear his opinion on pain relief.

  • Ardea

    Oh no, the midnight YouTube vortex begins. I had never heard of this gem of a man, so I went to his facebook page and watched an oddly nihilistic video of him revealing his wife’s pregnancy. It was one of the odder things I have watched. Just tell me to go to bed. I have to get up and teach tomorrow: biology, cell biology and zoology. That’s my day, not enriched for this particular video, except to hope that my young students find more depth in life than this clown.