There is so much suffering in the world, and sadly, so much of it falls on small children … victims of earthquakes, famines, genocide and war.
But the suffering that angers me the most is that visited on small children by the selfishness of their parents. Such suffering comes in many different forms but can ultimately be traced back to the narcissism of mothers and fathers who think that fulfilling their own needs — whether that is a need to vent their anger, exercise their fists or bolster their fragile self esteem — is more important than meeting the needs of the children who depend on them for everything.
Case in point:
Heather Dexter proudly boasts about the medical neglect of her children on Like Minded Mamas. Not only is she unrepentant about the horror that she visited on them, she proud of it!
It’s been a year. Mid-October 2014 was a game changer for three tiny immune systems.
My oldest, Madilyn at this time was 6.5 years old…
Lucien, my second, … is the best hugger and sweetest cuddler that I know…
Emilia, my youngest, at this time was 9 months old. Millie, as we affectionately call her, was just beginning to gain her personality and figure out who she is as a little person…
How did Heather “change the game” for her children’s immune systems? Not by gently creating immunity to pertussis (whooping cough) with a vaccine. No, no vaccines for Heather’s kids. She wanted only natural immunity for them, so she let them get deathly ill with whooping cough.
The totally avoidable horror and suffering went on for more than 6 months!!
You can read the details in the link webcache of the post. I’ll just hit the highlights:
During the night, Lucien would cough until he barfed up mucus, proceeded by crying and screaming fits. He was genuinely terrified each and every time he woke from sleep without breath. At this point in time my husband, and I were now waking every 30-90 minutes through the night to clean up after or console one of two coughing, puking, screaming children…
Madilyn had been coughing for 60+ days. We hadn’t slept longer than 2 hours in months. UGGGGGH. Sleep, it’s for the select few parents who probably drug their kids or lock them in their rooms. How I just wanted to sleep for six hours straight for just one night, it would have been miraculous. The term “walking dead” described the new me.
Her husband feared the children were going to die:
It was during this time, the first week in December that my husband, Scott, sat me down, looked me in the eyes and said, “I trust you, but I am scared that one of our kids is going to die. You know it is just a matter of time before Millie develops whatever it is that Madilyn and Lucien have. She’s only 9 months old. It’s going to be bad, Heather. (my emphasis)
Heather could have alleviated her children’s suffering AT ANY TIME during these 6 months. All she had to do was to take them to a real doctor and get antibiotics. But, no, Heather’s self-image was on the line and it was all about Heather all the time.
Part of me felt blind-sided and hurt, unsupported and ready to blow…that was the exhausted me… However, I have learned that my truth does not belong to all of humanity. Each person is entitled to their beliefs and logic or training.
… I do believe their immune systems were built to handle this… They just haven’t been a whole lotta sick in their lives, babe! This is their time to gain immune stimulation.”
Heather relied on her “degree” from Google University:
Was I doing this to prove a point? What do my kids gain from true immunity? Why was I sooooooo opposed to putting them on antibiotics? This in itself is an entire new blog, but let me just give you some links to why antibiotics should be limited and not passed out like candy …
Ok…so hopefully if you found yourself saying, “What is she thinking?” … You’ve taken the time to watch or read some of the above listed links.
Heather’s father tried to reason with her and he hit the nail on the head:
During this time, however, I received a very stern “talking to” from my father. He’s a veterinarian and has been for just shy of 40 years. While holding Emilia, he said to me, “Heather, there is a time and place for every thing and the time to go get an antibiotic is now. It may be that your pride has got you confused… I would hate to see you make a poor choice with your children at the[ir] expense.”
But Heather’s pride was more important than her children’s suffering.
HOLY SHIT… What? Did he honestly believe I was sitting there doing nothing? Couldn’t he see I was taking all the care in the world trying to make this work and heal them naturally? My heart broke. Tears streamed down my face…
I called my mentor and the founder of my Naturopathy school to gain yet another naturopathic perspective. She had nothing but good things to say. She once again boosted my morale. It was all I needed to hold strong over the holiday season.
Now the baby got sick:
By mid-January, Madilyn was doing great. Lucien was turning the corner, for the better. He was now only coughing moderately throughout the day and waking only a couple times a night. But Emilia’s breathing had now reached the scary point. She was now coughing until she puked, often times turning purple in the process. This was followed by crying, which would cause the process to repeat itself until often times she would just fall asleep due to pure exhaustion.
Ultimately, everyone recovered so Heather could return to patting herself on the back fulltime.
Look at how she had suffered to “protect” her children:
It took a good 120-150 days from the start of the coughing for each of them to eliminate the bronchial damage and lung weakness caused by the bacterial infection, Pertussis. We spent hundreds of dollars on natural health products and consultations with various Naturopathic Professionals. It was a living HELL. Every day. It had an intense effect on my marriage and relationship with my husband. It caused me to question everything I knew about Natural Health.
Heather was indeed the hero of her own story:
We made it through using only natural remedies. Seeking no medical attention. We did it. My children developed REAL and TRUE immunity from being exposed to this bacteria and fighting it off naturally. It has been my biggest challenge to date as a mother. This mother conquered. (my emphasis)
And just in case you hadn’t already reached the obvious conclusion that Heather is an idiot, she offered this to make it crystal clear:
I just want you to ask yourself… How did people make it through for thousands of years? How did they get through the Spanish Influenza, the Black Plague, fevers and other ailments?
Made it through?
More people died of the Spanish flu than died in WWI. Two-thirds of the population did NOT make it through the Black Death. Both were holocausts that took the lives of tens of millions.
Heather was so proud of herself, but then it turned out that the rest of the world was not nearly so impressed. They considered what she had done to be child abuse, and it was a form of child abuse known as medical neglect.
Heather and colleagues shut down their blog and Facebook page and sent out this message to their supporters.
Just in case you thought anti-vax was about anything other than mothers’ ego, they set us straight:
Recently, we shared a heart-felt story with you on Heather’s journey to healing her kiddos whooping cough naturally. We know and trust that all of our experiences are lessons. And the whole premise of this blog is to share these hard lessons, these times in stormy weather, with you dear reader. It wasn’t easy for Heather to write that post, but she did grounded in hope that it would empower you in times of similar situations.
Immediately, we received an outpour of support and love. Readers thanked us for being so transparent and honoring a mother’s intuition and our beautiful immune systems. This story without a doubt touched the hearts of many…
Then last week, the story found itself in the hands of those who are out to destruct. Threat after threat has made its way into this window of our lives. While we are aware that this is all part of the territory of speaking our truths, our system wasn’t ready to withstand the ambush of attacks.
Heather and her buddies have learned nothing!
One thing is for sure. We know that our voice is needed now more than ever. In fact, this experience has shown us that we need to be even louder.
The sad truth is that Heather could have spared her children MONTHS OF AGONY. If she had immunized her children against whooping cough the odds are very high that they wouldn’t have got whooping cough in the first place. Heather could have shortened the MONTHS OF AGONY. She could have let real medical professionals treat them with antibiotics. But no, Heather forced them to cough until they vomited and screamed, forced them to endure lung damage that may be permanent, and for what? For “natural immunity.” And how does this benefit Madilyn, Lucien and Millie. Heather never tells us.
But it did bolster Heather’s self-esteem and what’s 6 months of 3 small children coughing, vomiting, and screaming compared to that?