Guest post: My baby died before labor began but my homebirth midwife had no idea


Naomi Desir endured an excruciating labor at home only to learn that her homebirth midwife had no idea that baby Boaz had died days before labor began. Naomi wrote to me: “I want to tell you my story so I can hopefully help other people understand the dangers of home birth and direct entry midwives. “

I was once naive and foolish to think that home birth was safe and that it had better outcomes for mom and baby than hospital births. I bought into all of the lies, brainwashing, and bullshit you talk about so often on skepticalob. I trusted the wrong people and I have to live with the consequences of my mistake for the rest of my life. The trauma and the loss has changed me forever. At the very least I hope my story will help change the mind of some mom to be out there who is considering having a home birth with a midwife.

[pullquote align=”right” cite=”” link=”” color=”” class=”” size=””]Sweet baby Boaz is gone forever. And I am changed forever.[/pullquote]

Moreover, I need to be heard. I need to tell my story. I have had very little voice since this tragedy. I feel that the people who matter to me the most don’t believe me, they don’t think there is any legitimacy or reality to my story, nor are they able to see the reckless incompetence of midwives and the dangers of home birth. I hope someone will listen.

In 2014 I had a home birth attended by a DEM, I was 41 weeks and 4 days pregnant. My midwife did no fetal monitoring or vaginal exams prior to me going into labor. Like so many oblivious midwives, she never saw my babies demise coming.

I went into labor very early in the morning. My contractions started out strong and came one right after the other; I could barely catch my breath. It didn’t take long for the fatigue and pain to become unbearable.

As the hours passed my contractions and fatigue only got worse. So there I was in a tub full of luke warm water pushing in agony; I was so exhausted I fell asleep in between contractions and pushing. My midwife ignored my exhaustion and instructed me to get out of the tub; she then had me move in various positions in hope of helping the baby reposition, it was torture and completely useless.

At some point during me moving this way and that way the midwife no longer was able to find babies heartbeat so she frantically called 911. Somehow I was able to get out of bed to prepare to go to the hospital, as I did this I felt something wet trickle down my legs, so I looked down and saw blood dripping down my legs and on to the carpet. I knew it was way too late for him; my son was dead.

In her wisdom, the midwife speculated that I had a prolapsed cord that was causing the loss of the heartbeat; this too was an incorrect assumption. However, she attempted to mitigate the problem by sticking her fingers into my vagina while I was on all fours with my head faced down. I rode all the way to the hospital this way. I screamed in pain and agony the entire ride to the hospital.

When we arrived at the hospital I exited the ambulance the same way I entered it. The nurses scrambled to get me into the hospital room. I was immediately taken back for an ultrasound and the doctor confirmed what I already knew, there was no heartbeat, our son was dead.

I continued to contract and push, (with my midwife standing at the end of the bed telling me how I don’t want a c-section because they are really difficult to recover from). I ended up having the unavoidable c-section. After hours of painful and non-productive pushing, all due to me being convinced and persuaded that vaginal birth was best, I finally caved. My body could no longer take it. I was practically begging for a c section at that point; I Was convulsing In pain and I just wanted to stop.

After somewhere between 20-24hrs baby Boaz was delivered via c-section. He was 9lbs 3oz, and 22.5in long; he was perfect, and he was gone forever. We found out later that our son was believed to have died days before I went into labor. There was never a heartbeat to monitor or lose; baby Boaz was already dead and the midwife never realized it; she was dumb founded.

The doctors said I had massive infection and was going septic. My recovery was long, I was in the hospital for a week and recovering at home for weeks after. My husband held our lifeless son, he bathed and kissed him, and wept, he said goodbye. I, however, was not able to hold Boaz for more than a couple of minutes and I barely looked at him; I was afraid to. I didn’t say goodbye. I couldn’t say goodbye. Sweet baby Boaz is gone forever. And I am changed forever.

I would hope that you will share my story on your website, and I hope someone listens.

99 Responses to “Guest post: My baby died before labor began but my homebirth midwife had no idea”

  1. mandy jones
    August 18, 2016 at 6:51 pm #

    Forsake why didn’t the mid wife have medical supplies? This why all mid-wives and doula should 4-8 years of medical training. Anyway thank you for not keeping your mouth close.

  2. julietvanree
    July 9, 2016 at 6:18 am #

    I’m so shocked to hear this, and I’m so sorry for the loss of your beautiful little baby. Is there no standard in the US that midwives are held to? In the Netherlands a lot of people give birth at home but always within good range of an hospital and the midwife is medically trained for 4 years and has to be registered as such. No monitoring is an absolute bad thing. The heartbeat should be listened to during and prior to giving birth. I really hope some strict guidelines will appear in the US for midwives.

    • Azuran
      July 9, 2016 at 10:49 am #

      Thing is, there are 2 kinds of midwives in the USA, and that is a huge part of the problem.
      CNM are real nurse midwive with a training basically equivalent to those in the netherlands and every other industrialised country. As nurses, they mostly practice in hospital, under OB supervision, follow strict guideline and are held accountable for their acts.

      CPM or DEM (as in this case) are basically anyone who decided they want to catch babies and follow either a correspondence course on the internet or does an apprenticeship with another uneducated CPM. They aren’t medical professional, they do not have any real training in midwifery, they don’t have insurance and can hardly be held responsible since the mother does have the right to give birth however she wants.

  3. rachelmarie Acosta
    July 6, 2016 at 1:13 pm #

    Secondly your very brave and courageous rest in peace little Boaz

  4. rachelmarie Acosta
    July 6, 2016 at 1:08 pm #

    Report your midwife deny her the ability to do this again.

  5. Wubbsy
    July 5, 2016 at 3:36 am #

    Can this incompetent cow be sued for what she did to you?

    • westcoast
      July 13, 2016 at 1:20 pm #

      incompetent cow has a net worth so low that most lawyers will not sue.

  6. Puffin
    July 4, 2016 at 5:16 pm #

    I am so, so very sorry for the loss of your beautiful Boaz.

    While I know it can do nothing to ease the pain, I do want you to know that the stories shared here do make a difference. I’m only alive today (training to become a doctor myself, now) because of stories I read here convincing me not to make what would have been a fatal decision. Speaking up does make a difference. Thank you for sharing your story.

  7. FormerPhysicist
    July 2, 2016 at 10:31 am #

    I’m so so sorry.

  8. yentavegan
    June 30, 2016 at 9:35 pm #

    Thank you for bravely sharing your story. You will save another family from the homebirth/out of hospital birth propaganda. Your willingness to open up your painful wounds has saved a life.

  9. Isa
    June 30, 2016 at 4:23 am #

    Terrible, so sorry for you. Losing a child is the worst
    I send you a lot of love and courage
    Thank you for sharing, it is very brave

  10. Platos_Redhaired_Stepchild
    June 29, 2016 at 11:45 pm #

    Dear Naomi, I am so sorry you suffered this terrible loss.

  11. Rhybellious
    June 29, 2016 at 12:29 pm #

    Naomi, as a loss mom, I know the courage that it takes to stand up and tell your son’s story. Thank you for summoning that strength and sharing Boaz’s story. Losing a child does change you forever and I am so very sorry that you have had to face the heart shattering pain of losing your precious son. Knowing that it was due to someone else’s incompetence can only makes that grief more complicated. I know that nothing I can say will lessen your pain, I only hope that knowing that you sharing your story made me feel less alone in my grief this morning- and I know that I am not the first, nor I am the last person who you have helped with your courage and strength. Thank you.

  12. MI Dawn
    June 29, 2016 at 8:39 am #

    Seconding what has been said many times. Such a heartbreak. As a nurse and as a CNM, I find your story so very sad. You trusted and that person badly betrayed you for her own use. Thank you for sharing your story.

  13. Mishimoo
    June 29, 2016 at 5:16 am #

    I am so very sorry for your loss of sweet baby Boaz. Thank you for sharing your story, I really hope it gets through to people because no one should go through that.

  14. Margo
    June 29, 2016 at 3:30 am #

    Naomi, what a heart break for you and your family. Thankyou for sharing your story.

  15. Lee McCain MD
    June 28, 2016 at 11:53 pm #

    Naomi I am deeply sorry for your loss. In my many years as an
    Obstetrician I have fortunately had only a few term fetal demises and
    each has been utterly heart wrenching. The birth you describe sounds
    completely humiliating and unnecessary. I do think the failings of the
    midwife began a few weeks prior to your labor. The data coming out of
    very recent studies shows that term demise risks begin to climb after 39
    weeks and are substantial past 41 weeks. In our practice now we
    perform an ultrasound at 40 weeks and non stress test twice weekly and
    have an induction conversation. At 41 weeks we strongly recommend
    induction and discuss risks of demise in very strong terms. And even
    then sometimes horrific things can happen. I realize the homebirth and
    midwife community are critical of this kind of “overtesting” however I
    feel if I prevent just one loss like yours then I have saved a couple a
    lifetime of heartache and loss and more importantly saved a life. Maybe
    I will do a hundred or thousand ultrasounds for that one but for me
    that is well worth it. Thank you for your bravery in telling your

    • Naomi Desir
      June 29, 2016 at 10:16 am #

      Was extremely humiliating and uneccessary! I’ve e learned so much through this and I’m thankful for the feedback and compassion I’ve received on my story. Thank you.

  16. Lee McCain MD
    June 28, 2016 at 11:43 pm #

    Naomi I am deeply sorry for your loss. In my 25 years as an Obstetrician I have fortunately had only a few term fetal demises and each has been utterly heart wrenching. The birth you describe sounds completely humiliating and unnecessary. I do think the failings of the midwife began a few weeks prior to your labor. The data coming out of very recent studies shows that term demise risks begin to climb after 39 weeks and are substantial past 41 weeks. In our practice now we perform an ultrasound at 40 weeks and non stress test twice weekly and have an induction conversation. At 41 weeks we strongly recommend induction and discuss risks of demise in very strong terms. And even then sometimes horrific things can happen. I realize the homebirth and midwife community are critical of this kind of “overtesting” however I feel if I prevent just one loss like yours then I have saved a couple a lifetime of heartache and loss and more importantly saved a life. Maybe I will do a hundred or thousand ultrasounds for that one but for me that is well worth it. Thank you for your bravery in telling your story.

  17. OttawaAlison
    June 28, 2016 at 10:24 pm #

    Naomi – I’m a stillbirth mom as well. I’m so sorry for your loss. Mine happened at 37w1d and it was either a cord accident or placenta failure. Again I’m so sorry.

  18. June 28, 2016 at 9:12 pm #

    Naomi, I cried for your baby. I am so very sorry.

  19. mt
    June 28, 2016 at 8:22 pm #

    It’s hard typing through these tears… tears of grief for Naomi and her sweet baby, and tears of rage for this idiotic “natural” cult that is being allowed to swindle and kill helpless people. I hope people read this, mull it over, and really take the message to heart. The *idea* of “natural” is only appealing to us because in our modern society we are lucky enough to rarely have to see the ugly truth about nature: that it doesn’t care. Respect nature, don’t trust it. And NEVER trust a person who tells you to trust nature– because it is a guarantee that that person has no idea what nature really means. I was sucked in by the comforting cult of the “natural” movement as well. My son and I very nearly died because I trusted the wrong people. There’s no reason why we are alive and so many others are not.

    • nomofear
      July 2, 2016 at 9:51 am #

      That realization is core-shattering, isn’t it? My oldest came out of a birth center delivery perfectly fine, but it was only when I was looking into it again with my second baby and a link to this site came up that I was able to confront my real feelings on the “natural”, embrace modern medicine, and understand that it was pure luck that my oldest was fine. I pushed for three hours with her because it hurt so badly I went into a fugue state. I also just simply didn’t understand the danger to the baby inherent to the pushing stage. I was totally sold on the natural-is-safer line of bs.

      As a side benefit, I’ve been able to revisit other beliefs with a clear eye. I now prefer conventional farming and GMO technology to organic, and, when I want to lose some weight, I don’t look for the newest, greatest cult fad – I just count calories. This site has had such a positive influence on my life, and, because you never know what could have happened, may have averted disaster with my second baby.

  20. Marlo Williams
    June 28, 2016 at 8:20 pm #

    It’s hard typing through these tears… tears of grief for Naomi and her sweet baby, and tears of rage for this idiotic “natural” cult that is being allowed to swindle and kill helpless people. I hope people read this, mull it over, and really take the message to heart. The *idea* of “natural” is only appealing to us because in our modern society we are lucky enough to rarely have to see the ugly truth about nature: that it doesn’t care. Respect nature, don’t trust it. And NEVER trust a person who tells you to trust nature– because it is a guarantee that that person has no idea what nature really means. I was sucked in by the comforting cult of the “natural” movement as well. My son and I very nearly died because I trusted the wrong people. There’s no reason why we are alive and so many others are not.

  21. Deborah
    June 28, 2016 at 7:54 pm #

    I really hope some halfway decent policy makers discover your blog Dr Amy or otherwise hear of these terrible birth outcomes at the hands of these birth hobbyists.
    In what other field of medicine is it acceptable to practice, FOR A FEE, with nothing more than a high school diploma and a non regulated course of “apprenticeship” and supervision by other practitioners who only have a high school diploma themselves? Would we go to, say, a dentist? A neurosurgeon? A psychologist? Would we even trust the care of our pets to someone without tertiary level education and training?
    A huge fleece has been pulled over the eyes of unsuspecting women. Women who just want the best for themselves and their babies. Women who have, in good faith, believed the lies and tropes that are continually served up to them – “trust birth”, “babies are not library books – they know when to be born” and “childbirth pain is good pain”. As usual it is women who suffer. As usual it is women and children who are paying the price. And in the most diabolical irony, women are the instigators and perpetrators of this injustice to other women. I am furious.
    RIP baby Boaz
    Heartfelt condolences to Naomi and family

    • Amy
      June 28, 2016 at 8:05 pm #

      Forget medical practice, in what other field, period? We expect hairdressers, carpenters, plumbers, mechanics, electricians, accountants, and preschool teachers to have at least a vocational program (not necessarily tertiary, but if not, a dedicated program of study during high school and more likely some sort of tertiary training after that) and certification through a public agency, complete with a state license number and insurance.

      If we want to stay in the land of woo, even massage therapists and chiropractors have to have tertiary training.

      Yet when it comes to midwifery, these people insist that such training poses an undue burden on its practitioners. That’s insane.

      • Bombshellrisa
        June 29, 2016 at 3:52 am #

        The guys who fix small dents and paint scratches on cars at car dealerships can’t even become a vendor without a driver’s license, state business license and an insurance policy that covers at least two million dollars in damages. Those guys don’t even drive the cars further than a few feet on a car lot either, so their chances of damaging anything or anyone is pretty low. They may learn their trade through apprenticeship, but they are expected to operate as professionals and can be sued as such.

      • Kelly
        July 13, 2016 at 10:39 pm #

        In order to renew my teaching license, I had to take a college course, learn first aid, CPR, how to work an AED, and take an online course on local and state government. That was just to renew it. I also had to take four years of college in my field, three practicums, and take two course tests to make sure I was competent. I was evaluated throughout the year by administration as well. There are probably other things that I am missing but this was all so that I could teach history. I also get a background check and fingerprinted before I can even work. I am not in a field that deals with life or death on a regular basis either.

        • Amy
          July 13, 2016 at 11:19 pm #

          I know, I’m a teacher too!

          Four year degree, fifteen post-grad credits that didn’t count toward a master’s degree, passing three licensure exams, a criminal background check, a practicum, and a portfolio submitted to the department of education my first year of teaching– all to get the initial license.

          Professional licensure requires a three-year mentoring program, a master’s degree including at least twelve graduate credits in the subject area (and if the degree program doesn’t include subject-specific courses, as many ed degrees don’t, you have to take those on the side).

          And now we also have to have digital fingerprints on file with the state, and every three years do an online state ethics training with an exam at the end, because about ten years ago a few politicians got caught on camera accepting bribes, so now every public employee has to suffer.

          And yeah, while events of the past two years have certainly shown that teaching CAN devolve into life-or-death situations (I’m thinking Sandy Hook and Oregon), most of the time it doesn’t get any more dangerous for me than convergence tests and integration methods.

          • Kelly
            July 14, 2016 at 12:20 pm #

            It is so ridiculous the amount of money and time we have to put into our degrees when I can take a couple of months and then walk in and deliver a baby.

  22. Ally Rose
    June 28, 2016 at 7:44 pm #

    This is heartbreaking. I’m so very very sorry.

  23. MaineJen
    June 28, 2016 at 6:59 pm #

    Naomi, my heart is breaking for you. There is no excuse for that midwife not realizing that the baby was in trouble or already gone. And how ridiculous and callous of her to be STILL counseling you against a c section, after all you’d been through and all you were still facing. I assure you, you will find nothing but support here.

  24. Tori
    June 28, 2016 at 6:50 pm #

    I am so sorry Naomi for the loss of your son. Thank you for telling your story.

  25. J.B.
    June 28, 2016 at 5:54 pm #

    I am so sorry, and I know remembering is so important.

  26. Amazed
    June 28, 2016 at 5:45 pm #

    I am so sorry, Naomi. Thank you for sharing and trying to make something good to come out of your tragedy. Your son will not be forgotten.

  27. Marki
    June 28, 2016 at 4:48 pm #

    Informed choises is importen for sure I just lost a baby at work ,Induktion 42 weeks pregnant mom got an infection was treated with antibiotics baby was moniterd all the time with Stan 21 everything normal with the heart beat until 20min before birth It was droppen to 80 /min emergensi alarm was activated (this was in the hospital special ward for complicated labour) doctor was late 40 min baby should be out 20min from the alarme goes on Baby was stressed had a bad infections Apgar score 2.1.1 Died 4 days later.
    What did this Midwife do wrong ….

    • moto_librarian
      June 28, 2016 at 5:09 pm #

      It would be quicker to list what this midwife did correctly. TL;DR not much.

      • Roadstergal
        June 30, 2016 at 4:38 pm #

        Is there a damn thing she did right? I don’t count ‘calling 911,’ because it was way, way, way too late.

    • moto_librarian
      June 28, 2016 at 5:12 pm #

      And in what capacity were you “working?” Are you a HCP?

      • Marki
        June 28, 2016 at 5:19 pm #

        Maternety hospital high risk ward Sweden Doctor in Midwifery

        • Karen in SC
          June 28, 2016 at 8:19 pm #

          The c-section should have been ordered as soon as the infection was detected in the labor of a 42 week pregnancy. Why didn’t you do so? At the least, an OB should have been on the floor. 42 weekers have a higher chance of failed inductions.

          • Majsan
            July 1, 2016 at 6:19 pm #

            I dont think that wold have ben the best thing to do In this case C – section dos not treated the infection antibiotics do. Of cours there was a OB there it was a high risk labour but the OB is not arround all the time at The same floor thats why the CS was deliyed when the emergency alarme came the OB was not close to the ward and The CS was deliyed.

        • AnnaPDE
          June 28, 2016 at 10:21 pm #

          Hard to believe, as you don’t even seem to be able to string together a single coherent sentence. (And don’t even start on “English isn’t my first language” excuse — it isn’t mine either, but they teach it in school in Sweden.)
          So either something doesn’t check out with you and the story, or that hospital is staffed by total incompetents, including Marki.

          • Majsan
            July 1, 2016 at 6:32 pm #

            Im Sorry for puttning the words wrong In english but Im doing It in my Swdich as well since Im dyslectic,hope u understand /MARKI

        • Green Fish
          June 29, 2016 at 12:54 pm #

          I have an inkling who this is but I’m not sure if we’re allowed to post such speculations…

          • Eater of Worlds
            July 12, 2016 at 10:37 am #

            I’m certainly curious, especially since she answered as both Marking and Maiden, I think it was.

    • MichelleJo
      June 28, 2016 at 5:21 pm #

      She put this woman through torture, for a baby that she couldn’t even detect was dead. She had no clue how to see the signs that would have preceded it and prevented it. She also put the woman through a terribly painful, useless and humiliating experience once she finally thought something may be off. In the hospital, knowing the baby was dead and with the mother convulsing from pain, she scare mongered her into continued contractions. In your story, the baby was monitored and action was taken immediately when there were signs of distress. The delay caused by the doctor was most certainly circumstantial, and not because the doctor thought it better to wait 40 minutes rather than 20 to save a distressed baby.

    • lilin
      June 28, 2016 at 5:34 pm #

      What do you mean “what did this midwife to wrong”? Would you let a woman labor uselessly for hours when a baby was already dead? Would you tell an exhausted woman to get into difficult positions in the hopes that a dead infant would reposition itself? Would you stick your hand into a woman’s vagina, causing her agony, to “save” a baby that had been dead for days?

    • Sean Jungian
      June 28, 2016 at 5:42 pm #

      Sounds like the “Deaths happen in hospitals, too” gambit.

    • Amazed
      June 28, 2016 at 5:44 pm #

      What she did wrong?!

      Not knowing that the baby was dead, for starters! And I can’t help but notice that in this “Babies die in hospitals, too!” drivel, “midwife” goes with a capital letter. Enamoured much?

    • AA
      June 28, 2016 at 5:46 pm #

      Unrelated to the original story, but is offering induction at 42 weeks the standard of care in Sweden in absence of other indications?

    • Who?
      June 28, 2016 at 6:18 pm #

      Marki you need to do the ‘babies die in hospital’ gambit much better if you hope to travel under the radar.

      • Marki
        July 7, 2016 at 5:49 pm #

        Well do it better ….I was hoping for ur advice in what way I could have done things better I followed the OBs order and The hospital guidelance and yes babies do die in hospital is that all you can give me..I didnt want the babie to die

        • Azuran
          July 7, 2016 at 7:33 pm #

          I think your story and the post story are very different.
          That first midwive (a DEM, so clearly uneducated) let a women go post date (how much warning of the dangers she gave the mother is not mentioned) and did not properly monitor a post date gestation. Then, baby died without her noticing and let the woman labour for hours for a dead baby without even knowing it. That is gross incompetence.

          Since you say you worked under an OB, I suppose you are a properly trained midwife. In your case, I guess there are some things that could have been done better, but I’m not saying anything is particularly your fault or that you personally could have done something different.
          42 weeks for an induction seems late. An earlier induction would have probably changed everything. So who made the decision of waiting this long and was the mother properly aware of the risks of going post date? Did she refuse earlier induction or did she show up at the hospital like that?
          Since this was a 42 weeks induction with a mother with infection, maybe a c-section should have been recommended from the start? (totally a guess, probably depends on a lot of factors I do not know about, it might have been contraindicated as well)
          At the very least, seems to me people should have been ready for an emergency c-section at any time with this woman, so the time response is clearly also a potential problem (though it depend on the reason for the delay, was the OB doing another crash c-section at the same time?)

          I don’t think what happened is particularly your fault. But obviously there were some things that probably could have gone better. Without doing a witch hunt or trying to assign blame, it is important to look at the factor that played a role in this tragedy and try to fix them.

        • Daleth
          July 12, 2016 at 11:14 am #

          Why did you let the woman go so late (42 weeks)? Why was the doctor late–in other words why wasn’t there a doctor available right away? Why did you let a 42-week mother with an infection attempt a vaginal birth instead of recommending a c-section right away?

          Did you guys recommend earlier induction and then recommend a c-section due to her being postdates and having an infection, and did the mother refuse? Did you warn her of the risks? Or not?

          • Marki
            July 13, 2016 at 6:47 pm #

            Well In Sweden we never induce before42 weeks is completed if there is not any medical reason for it and moms have special check upp every other day so nothing is missing and we do have The higest right of vaginaly births witout complication for mom and baby and also the lowest outcome for stillbirth from week 39 to 42 anser ur question the Mother did not have any infection before the labour started and C section do not treat infection antibiotics does so thats the first thing u need to give her and she had. When the baby showed signals that he did not like the situation whe called for emergency CS the OB was informed of the progres all the time and absolutly involverad of the care. But and that can happend in any high risk ward at night the doctor was busy with some other emergency with some other patient the other doctors to and I cant do a CS by my self right. She was deliyed for 20 minuter and that was to long for this baby.

          • swbarnes2
            July 13, 2016 at 7:19 pm #

            “A gradually more proactive and differential earlier labour induction practice is likely to have mainly been responsible for the substantial reduction in stillbirths in Denmark….We report a decrease in risk of fetal death after 37 weeks to 0.14% on a national level, which is the lowest risk ever reported in Denmark. Nor has any similar rate to our knowledge been published elsewhere….The significant reduction in fetal deaths seen in Denmark has not been observed in Sweden, where the handling of post-term pregnancies has undergone less change.”


            Again, what you are saying is that an induction weeks prior, or a C-section as soon as she arrived, and the baby would have lived. The baby died because your midwife-based care system couldn’t handle two emergencies at the same time.

          • swbarnes2
            July 16, 2016 at 7:37 pm #

            But you JUST told a story abut a woman whose baby died because she was NOT one of those mothers who was best off with a midwife, but needed OB care and didn’t get it in time.

          • Azuran
            July 16, 2016 at 8:08 pm #

            I think you are being way too rough on her. The woman was induced, inductions are not done by midwife (unless they are in Sweden?), which means that an OB was included in her care from the beginning and decided that her case was low risk enough for a midwife to monitor the birth. If induction at 42 weeks is a standard practice of obstretric in sweden it has nothing to do with Marki, she’s a midwive, it’s not her call.
            From what she said, the woman had no signs of infection when she was induced, so again, not her fault she developed infection. She was then later put on antibiotics, which means that the signs of infection where notices and once again, means she was evaluated by an OB (unless midwives have the right to prescribe medication in sweden?) who then decided it was safe to continue labour. It’s not her fault the OB was then busy with another emergency when things went to hell with this woman and that the hospital didn’t have another one on backup.

            I do think a lot of those things could have been avoided and the way labour (especially for overdue women) is handled and how they prepare for emergency could be improved. But I don’t think any of this is something that Marki herself could have prevented.

          • Who?
            July 16, 2016 at 8:46 pm #

            Let’s hope Marki’s employer is as concerned as Marki is about it.

          • Marki
            July 17, 2016 at 5:06 pm #

            Thank u dear u have got my case absolutly right, Im glad u made ur Pont thank u .

          • corblimeybot
            July 13, 2016 at 8:11 pm #

            How are you in OB care and have no idea that fetal mortality starts rising at 39 fucking weeks?

          • Who?
            July 13, 2016 at 8:27 pm #

            So it all went really well until the baby died? That is the home birth hobbyist’s number 1 excuse.

            I get that it was traumatic and difficult for the staff involved, but clearly the ‘special check up’ wasn’t special enough on this occasion.

            The baby died because the system wasn’t equipped to deal with anything but ‘normal’, despite the acknowledged increasing risk of going past due date.

          • Marki
            July 15, 2016 at 7:50 pm #

            It all went wery well until the mom got infection and we treated her. And yes it was a terrible night and for sure all the parametrars att mom was wery well so nothing to tell from that and since everyon that is having any normal pregnancy is going to 42 weeks and normal babies is delivered without any complication thats why its stil is going on like this. Well high risk patiens with Bmi over 35 and smokers etc will have to be induction earlyer. So tell med is nothing ever going wrong in the laborward in the US

          • swbarnes2
            July 15, 2016 at 8:18 pm #

            What everyone is saying is that

            1) Most labor wards in the US are OB-led, so there are enough OB’s to handle two emergencies. (That being the most charitable explanation as to why an OB wasn’t there as soon as you called for one)
            2) In the US, OB’s would have DONE SOMETHING, when they detected an infection, not sat around and waited for an emergency to happen.

          • Marki
            July 16, 2016 at 6:28 pm #

            Well all ur labour ward in sweden are OB led so thats not the problem but this OB was not able to handled this emergency situatiation right, antibiotics was allready given to mom and also to the baby after birth but the OB did not take my worries for the baby and did not listen she was not doing her job well and did not ask her OB doctors for help or advice and The baby Died 4 days later becourse of that.

          • swbarnes2
            July 16, 2016 at 7:29 pm #

            Sigh. Nothing you have written makes any sense, and I suspect its because you are wildly backtracking.
            If you sincerely believe that baby in your hospital died because midwifery techniques were insufficient, why are you so confused that a midwife who did even less monitoring and had less training, and less ability to do anything at all also had a terrible outcome?

          • Azuran
            July 13, 2016 at 8:52 pm #

            C-section does not treat infection. But getting the baby out as soon as there were signs of infection could have lowered the risks of said infection getting into the baby.
            Baby could have gotten IV antibiotics too, and other kind of treatment.
            How long did the labour even last if the mother had no sign of infection when it started but developped visible signs during the labour.
            I still don’t think anything is your fault, you are obviously following your hospital guidelines. But those do appear to be lacking in some ways.

          • AnnaPDE
            July 13, 2016 at 10:22 pm #

            Well, you and your colleagues can be proud of having killed a baby that would have survived in a place with actual medical treatment. I wonder how you live with that.
            If this went according to hospital policy, then it was institutionalised malpractice. Otherwise just incredible irresponsibility and lack of care. The whole point of obstetrics is ro recognise situations like this before they become deadly.

          • Marki
            July 15, 2016 at 7:33 pm #

            How i live with that!! what kind of question is that.well I reported the doctor so she had to leave but that will not bring the baby back hopefully we will save some others Im traying to tell that some Times its the opposit story midwifes who is traying to get the Ob to Come and do there Jobs and she was there many Times without understanding that she have to take action. Its not always midwifes to blame like in the other case and she was not even a midwife if u ask me.So again things are not just always black and white and for a fruitfull diskussion whe need to understand how different we are working like In my country non is having any home labour but are happy to get a normal delivery at the hospital . So homelabour is things that i have non experiences of and I will not have them for sure

          • AnnaPDE
            July 16, 2016 at 10:36 pm #

            Good on you for reporting that doctor. They clearly weren’t able or willing to give decent care during birth.
            I still don’t understand though why you’re defending the midwife in Dr. tutor’s post. The issue was similar to your story: waiting/being delayed too long instead of medical intervention when things even started to look tricky. Which is exactly what doctors are usually blamed for: “unnecessary” induction, caesarean, episiotomy, etc., basically for playing it safe instead of waiting it out until things go very bad.
            This “let’s just wait, she’ll be right” philosophy is most prevalent with home birth midwives (the very idea of a home birth away from a hospital’s equipment is already a sign of that). It’s no better though when a doctor or a whole health system has the same outlook.

          • Daleth
            July 14, 2016 at 12:22 pm #

            The medical reason for inducing before 42 weeks is that the stillbirth rate goes up dramatically when babies reach term. In other words, once babies reach full term, they are more likely to die if you leave them in than if they are born, and the risk of dying if you leave them in goes steadily up the longer you leave them in.

            Here’s a quote from a study that looked at all nonanomalous (i.e., healthy baby) term births in California over a ten-year period (and the population of California is about 30 million, or more than three times the population of Sweden, so this study is clearly large enough to be accurate):

            The risk of stillbirth at term increases with gestational age from 2.1 per 10,000 ongoing pregnancies at 37 weeks of gestation up to 10.8 per
            10,000 ongoing pregnancies at 42 weeks of gestation.
            At 38 weeks of gestation, the risk of expectant management carries a similar risk of
            death as delivery, but at each later gestational age, the mortality risk of expectant management is higher than the risk of delivery (39 weeks of gestation: 12.9 compared with 8.8 per 10,000; 40 weeks of gestation:
            14.9 compared with 9.5 per 10,000; 41 weeks of gestation: 17.6 compared with 10.8 per 10,000).”


    • Platos_Redhaired_Stepchild
      June 29, 2016 at 12:08 am #

      American midwives are typically untrained and uneducated but still charge thousands of dollars for their “services”. They frequently lie to pregnant women that their high risk pregnancy or post-date pregnancy isn’t dangerous so the patient does not go to a real doctor or deliver in a hospital because if the patient goes to a real doctor or delivers in a hospital the midwife doesn’t get a fat check for her non-existent skills.

  28. Trixie
    June 28, 2016 at 3:38 pm #

    Naomi, thank you so much for bravely sharing your family’s story here. I respect and admire you for telling it publicly, so much. I am very, very sorry for the loss of your beautiful baby boy.

  29. Gene
    June 28, 2016 at 3:13 pm #

    I’m so sorry. Thank you for coming forward.

    From a medical perspective, I’m curious if your midwife was checking for fetal heart tones at any point prior to the one that prompted your transfer. Did she say the fht were normal (until they weren’t) or just never checked. In other words, was she incompetent (can’t tell the difference between mom and baby) or just lying?

    • Naomi Desir
      July 1, 2016 at 1:06 am #

      She checked FHT off and on ,but there wasnt any, she was hearing my heartbeat the whole time.

      • Melaniexxxx
        July 1, 2016 at 2:46 am #

        Oh gosh 🙁 and yours are TOO SLOW for a normal healthy child in labour, yet she did nothing about that either

        • Gene
          July 1, 2016 at 3:29 pm #

          Unless the pain/anxiety of labor (plus chorio) raised her heartbeat. BUT STILL NO EXCUSE!!! Mom’s pulse and baby’s should never be the same rate! Naomi, that is absolutely inexcusable. Being able to tell the difference between baby and mom is something that even the brand new nursing students are able to do in my ED.

          That is beyond malpractice and has entered into negligent homicide!

          • fiftyfifty1
            July 1, 2016 at 6:31 pm #

            Yes, I had a heart rate in the 130’s-140’s due to pain before I got the epidural (I have a baseline tendency toward tachycardia), and yet they were careful to differentiate my HR from that of the baby’s.

  30. Box of Salt
    June 28, 2016 at 2:16 pm #

    I am sorry for your (and your family’s) loss

  31. momofone
    June 28, 2016 at 1:55 pm #

    I am so sorry. Thank you for sharing Boaz and his story with us.

  32. Amy
    June 28, 2016 at 1:53 pm #

    I am so sorry for your loss and for everything you went through 🙁

  33. Jocelyn
    June 28, 2016 at 1:10 pm #

    I am so, so sorry.

  34. Spamamander
    June 28, 2016 at 12:39 pm #

    I can’t imagine the heartache. Thank you for finding the strength to share. You may be saving someone.

  35. moto_librarian
    June 28, 2016 at 12:38 pm #

    Naomi, my heart breaks for you, your husband, and your dear son Boaz. I am not going to stop speaking out against the incompetence of American homebirth midwifery until this madness ends. I am so very sorry that you number among the victims of these hacks. Thank you for sharing your son with us. We will remember him with you.

  36. Trina Alexander
    June 28, 2016 at 12:30 pm #

    I am so so sorry for your loss, Naomi. Thank you for being brave enough to speak out. Boaz will not be forgotten.

  37. BeatriceC
    June 28, 2016 at 12:27 pm #

    I’m crying into my coffee this morning. I’m so sorry that you, your husband and your son were victimized by the NCB movement. As somebody else already commented, many of us here are on a mission to make sure babies like Boaz aren’t “buried twice”. I am deeply saddened that we have to add your son to our list of babies we remember, but be assured, your son will never be forgotten.

  38. Madtowngirl
    June 28, 2016 at 12:25 pm #

    Naomi, I have tears in my eyes after reading your story. I’m so sorry this happened to you. Thank you for sharing your story.

  39. Amy M
    June 28, 2016 at 12:06 pm #

    I’m sorry for your loss, Naomi. Your story is heartbreaking and I hope that you feel heard…we are listening, here.

  40. Montserrat Blanco
    June 28, 2016 at 11:52 am #

    Dear Naomi,

    I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your story.

  41. demodocus
    June 28, 2016 at 11:46 am #

    i’m sorry for your and your husband’s loss. Thank you for sharing Boaz with us.

  42. Megan
    June 28, 2016 at 11:25 am #

    Your story is so touching and sad. I am teary-eyed at work reading it and my heart breaks for you and your family. Know that you will help someone with your story. Thank you for sharing it. You are very brave. Boaz will not be forgotten.

  43. can't fool me twice
    June 28, 2016 at 10:34 am #

    Dear Naomi,
    I am crying reading your story, and am so sorry to hear that you and your husband lost your precious boy. I lurk but rarely comment here. That said, when the commenters here learn of a loss, they don’t forget that baby’s name. No doubt your sharing your story will ensure that Boaz will not be forgotten, and another baby will be saved. Thank you.

  44. guest
    June 28, 2016 at 10:34 am #

    I am so sorry for your loss. <3

  45. June 28, 2016 at 10:24 am #

    Dear Naomi,

    I am so sorry for the loss of your son. There are lots of people here who are hearing your story. Thank you for sharing it.

  46. Sue
    June 28, 2016 at 10:17 am #

    Thank you for sharing your painful story. So sorry for your loss.

  47. Allie P
    June 28, 2016 at 10:15 am #

    Dear Naomi, I’m so sorry for the tragic loss of your son. Thank you for sharing your story, as hard as it was to do. I pray for you and your boy. I am sitting here in tears.

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.