How science denialists know their team will win the Super Bowl

Football on the Field

Hi, folks, Ima Frawde here. I spend every working day denying the safety and effectiveness of vaccines, denying the reality of climate change and denying the deadliness of the COVID pandemic.

How do I relax?

I’m a football fan! I spend all my free time watching football, following my team on social media and reading about my team on fan websites.

My team is going to win the Super Bowl!

How do I know? Because football is just like science denial.

1. Our quarterback, the captain of our team, says we’re going to win the Super Bowl.

Just like with science denial, I always trust the claims of our leader.

2. Our fans say we’re going to win.

Just like with science denial, it always helps to associate exclusively with others who already agree with you.

3. I’ve watched extensive film of our team winning and compared it to extensive film of other teams losing.

As in science denial, you must cherry pick the data.

4. I’ve seen our team play mini-golf against other teams and they always win.

If you only watched the YouTube videos of our team winning at mini-golf you’d be equally impressed, too.

5. We won every game in the first half of the season.

Sure sportscasters often declared that our opponents won, but as I tell my fellow science denialists you can’t believe the mainstream media.

6. We also won every game in the second half of the season.

Yes the refs declared that we lost those games, but just as everyone knows scientists are paid to say whatever government or industry wants them to say, everyone knows refs are paid by the NFL to say which team won regardless of what really happened.

7. We had an undefeated season!

Like science denialists, true fans never change their minds based on actual evidence.

Wait, what? The only way you can tell which team is best is by having them play other teams and accepting the outcome of the contests?

Surely you’re joking.

As a professional science denialist I can assure you that would never work!

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  • 2020-2021 have been so weird, I’m sure the Browns are going to win the Super Bowl. 🙂