“I would do it all again…even knowing the outcome”

Valerie’s comment, found on this blog post:

“I think home birth is an ideal way to bring the blessing of a new life into the world, but certainly not the only way … I just know how fired up women can get on this topic!).

My story: I had five hospital births…the last one was a scheduled c-section because my OB/GYN wouldn’t attempt a version on a baby who was breech and estimated to be 10 1/2 to 11 lbs via ultrasound. I disagreed with her (having given birth to four large-ish sized babies, ranging from 8 lbs 5 oz to 9 lbs 8 oz at that point…all of whom who had been breech but either turned on their own or were manually turned through an external cephalic version and delivered vaginally), but ultimately felt like there was no other option and went through with the section…

My OB/GYN didn’t allow trial of labor after c-sections, so I was forced to find someone who would…my research led me to a wonderful midwife who only provided support for homebirthing mamas…

… I had a totally normal and text book pregnancy…at 40 weeks, 3 days we found out our first daughter was breech via ultrasound, despite my best efforts with chiropractic care during pregnancy to prove otherwise… so my midwife and I worked together and was able to get her head down…she stripped my membranes at my request and the next day my water broke and we prepared for my homebirth experience.

When my midwife arrived, I was already 8cm and in transition…but we found out our daughter had turned footling breech again. We prayed and had done our research and decided that the risks for a breech birth were low…especially given my previous ability to push out 8+ and 9+ pound kids, so we decided to move forward, knowing the risks…

Three hours later, my daughter’s cord prolapsed suddenly and within minutes I found myself and my midwife on a gurney en route to the ER. She died during the preparations for my emergency c-section and after 20 minutes of resuscitation attempts, the doctor finally pulled away from my daughter.

… I would do it all again…even knowing the outcome. For the first time in seven deliveries, I finally had the labor I knew I always could have had but never did. No IV’s…no being tied to a bed…no one telling me I couldn’t eat or drink…no one telling me when or when not to push…being able to have as many people in the room as I wanted…laughing and joking through the contractions with my friends and family surrounding me. I didn’t have that in the hospital.

… I will still cherish and forever hold my daughter’s “home labor” in my heart. I love to hear of the thousands of women who have perfectly normal and safe homebirths every year and wish the stereotypical OB wasn’t so anti-homebirth and anti-midwife…perhaps if the crossover between the two worlds wasn’t such an obvious one that few seem willing to cross, more women would be able to have the births they want rather than the ones they’re essentially told to have.”

40 Responses to ““I would do it all again…even knowing the outcome””

  1. Eminurse
    April 2, 2013 at 7:04 pm #

    I think your baby is having a better life in Heaven than she would have had on earth with you.


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