Photo contains graphic violence? Really?


After that title, you’re undoubtedly looking for the photo containing graphic violence. Would you believe that it’s the picture at the top of the post?

Yes, that picture of the beautiful baby Mary Beth in her coffin after her death at homebirth.

That picture was reported as containing graphic violence. Twice! Once when the picture was posted on one of my Facebook groups and once when Bambi, Mary Beth’s mother, posted it.


Who would report a beautiful, heart breaking photo as containing graphic violence and why? I have some ideas.

Gina Crosley-Corcoran, the Feminist Breeder, finds pictures of babies who died at homebirth to be profoundly frightening and has encouraged her readers to view them the same way.


In other words, Gina, like most homebirth advocates, desperately wants to bury babies who die at homebirth twice. First in a tiny coffin in the ground; a second time by erasing their existence from public view.

Gina, like most homebirth advocates, can’t handle the truth about homebirth: it kills babies who didn’t have to die.

And the claim about graphic violence? The extraordinary picture of Mary Beth does violence to the idea that homebirth is a safe, beautiful experience. If women understand that homebirth leads to preventable deaths, most of them are going to stop choosing homebirth. Rather than looking at women who choose homebirth as brave and empowered, they will start viewing such women with contempt, in the exact same way as parents who refuse to vaccinate are now viewed.

That fear is compounded by her rabid hatred of me. Referring to the Facebook group Fed up with natural childbirth where the photo was posted:


She can hate me all she wants. I’ve proven that I can defend myself quite well.

At this point, I view Gina as a bug on the windshield of my life: annoying, occasionally in my line of sight, but thoroughly squashed long ago.

Rail against me all you want Gina, but when it comes to women who read my blog and participate in my Facebook groups, have a little human decency. If a mother wants to post a beautiful picture of her baby who died at homebirth to prevent another mother from experiencing the never ending pain, don’t deride it as a scare tactic and don’t inspire others (or was it you?) to report those photos to Facebook for containing “graphic violence.” It makes you look like a heartless, hateful fool.

123 Responses to “Photo contains graphic violence? Really?”

  1. Sarah Bennett
    February 26, 2015 at 6:47 pm #

    Just to point out a logical fallacy, here–and don’t get me wrong in the least, I’m not a fan of The Feminist Breeder…at all–you both are taking this photo totally out of context. The woman posted a photo of her infant (so, so sad). That’s it. She didn’t say, “It doesn’t have to happen to you! Choose hospital births!” She just wanted to share a beautiful photo of her beautiful child who, unfortunately, through NO FAULT OF THE MOTHER, passed away. Utilizing this topic as fodder for anti-homebirthing is just as despicable as Gina’s ridiculous tantrums, IMHO. You are basically stating that the mother here who lost her child is at fault for her death because she homebirthed. Don’t pretend otherwise.

    You and Gina are equally insane. You wouldn’t exist without each other. Without your balance of hatred for one another’s differing opinions, the Universe would likely implode.

    • Amy Tuteur, MD
      February 26, 2015 at 7:22 pm #

      You’re mistaken. Aquila’s mother posted her photo as part of her ongoing attempt to alert other women to the dangers of homebirth. And the mother wanted me to write this post.

    • Jocelyn
      February 26, 2015 at 7:56 pm #

      You should probably read Liz (the mother)’s story she wrote for the blog “Hurt by Homebirth”:

      In her story she says, “We buried her on the 23rd of December…The depths I fell to are unimaginable to most. Since I lost Aquila I have lost much more. I have lost real word friends, online friends, family members. All because I was straightforward in sharing that my daughter would have lived if I had labored and birthed in the hospital.” So yes, I think she is in fact encouraging women to give birth in the hospital.

    • Who?
      February 26, 2015 at 8:10 pm #

      I’m pretty sure Dr T would be delighted to never write anothr post about the dangers of homebirth-unfortunately with the Ginas of the world doing their thing, Dr T is likely to be doing this for quite a while yet.

  2. May 28, 2014 at 1:29 am #

    A Practical Guide To Women Click Here It’s almost always the woman’s fault. Get rid of her ovaries and put her on HRT and then she won’t be crazy and she will have a libido.

  3. SuperGDZ
    April 8, 2014 at 5:21 pm #

    Posted a comment that said “Gina, just stop. The only appropriate response to a mother who posts a picture of a dead baby is ‘I’m sorry for your loss'”. Deleted and banned.

    • Siri
      April 9, 2014 at 3:40 am #

      Just posted a comment inspired by yours…

      • Siri
        April 9, 2014 at 2:06 pm #

        Deleted and banned! Oh Gina, you are such a coward……

        • Erin
          April 15, 2014 at 11:01 am #

          That’s common on facebook groups. Why would you want to let your readers know that there is any sort of thing as an opinion contrary to yours? Deleting & banning just gives the atmosphere of “everyone agrees with us, just look here!”
          It’s like calling a facebook group a “safe space.” They really mean “Anything disagreeing with our hive mind will be shown the door.”

  4. Guest
    April 8, 2014 at 8:46 am #

    Perinatal grief programs were long ago established protocols by nurses for photographing families and babies after a loss, long before programs such as NILMDTS were developed. Most families are unaware of the photographs being done in the moments of being consumed with acute grief. Days, months or years later when they are ready to see their photos, they can be an integral component of families processing grief and filling in the blanks of what the brain and heart tried to protect them from remembering. I’ve photographed babies anywhere from 14 weeks to 40weeks and take very seriously that every angle matters. Every loss parent fears the ‘forgetting’. When a parent awakens from sleep in tears because he or she cannot remember what her baby’s knees or ears looked like, those images are there.When life goes on and a sense of normalcy recurs, these photos are a sense of comfort and reminder to families that their baby did indeed exist even as the rest of world moves on. It is a privilege to serve in such a role to provide those momentos for families, no matter how macabre it may seem to those not involved.

    When loss mothers share these photos months, years or decades later, they are sharing an intimate part of their being and exposing a raw edge of their hearts that will never heal. Bambi, my heart hurts for the thoughtlessness and cruelty you have been exposed to long after your heart was first broken. I am thankful for your willingness to share Mary Beth’s photo. Anyone who has ever been affected by a loss knows just how much a gift from your heart it is to share her photograph representing the beauty and love of Mary Beth’s brief life and the tragedy of your loss. Thank you for sharing her with us.

    • Lombardi
      April 8, 2014 at 9:56 am #

      Thank you for posting this!

    • April 8, 2014 at 12:05 pm #

      Thank you for the work you do. Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep (NILMDTS) is an amazing organization. I treasure my babyloss pictures. Someday my living son can see the brother that came before him. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

      • Guest
        April 8, 2014 at 12:24 pm #

        Please be sure to give thanks where due with NILMDTS. My apologies if my comment was misrepresentative as I’m not associated with the organization, just a medwife who is also grateful for their services.

      • Guest
        April 8, 2014 at 4:42 pm #

        I just reread my response below and am appalled that it came across as a recommendation for you to thank NILMDTS. I misspoke and meant I did not want to take credit for the work their organization does to support bereaved parents. (Although I am sure your thank you was very much appreciated.) I would also like to let you know anyone who has taken bereavement photos, be it photographer, RN, CNM, MD, doesn’t do it with an expectation of a thank you. In my experience, bereaved families give back in ways they never realize in lessons of the power of love and strength of family.

        • April 8, 2014 at 8:01 pm #

          I think you’re being a bit hard on yourself. I never hesitate to voice my thanks for NILMDTS and the photographers who work with them. It’s a beautiful, sadly necessary service. Seriously, I found your post touching, not offensive or pushy or misrepresentation or “graphic violence” 🙂

    • Jessica S.
      April 8, 2014 at 9:28 pm #

      Beautiful response. Thank you for sharing this.

  5. Siri
    April 8, 2014 at 3:09 am #

    Trying to follow the ‘discussion’ on her page is impossible, as she deletes anything that smacks of dissent. How insecure she must feel to behave like that. Utterly pathetic.

  6. birthbuddy
    April 8, 2014 at 1:49 am #

    Another Australian homebirth death.

    • Amy M
      April 8, 2014 at 6:51 am #

      Cue the “but it had nothing to do with being at home! Shoulder dystocia happens in the hospital toooooo!” people” in 3…2….1

    • no longer drinking the koolaid
      April 8, 2014 at 7:58 am #

      This would appear to be the crux of the matter: the parents had planned a UC and…

      “The coroner said the willingness of two midwives to assist in the
      birthing process may have erroneously allayed fears held by the parents
      about the safety of the birth, despite efforts of medical staff to
      encourage a hospital birth.”

      • NoLongerCrunching
        April 8, 2014 at 10:50 am #

        Another great quote:

        Mr Olle said he was “acutely aware of the devastating loss, suffered by the parents” and did not criticise them.

        “Further, I acknowledge the pain and anguish suffered by the clinical staff and individuals who sought to assist the birthing process,” he said.

  7. Sullivan ThePoop
    April 7, 2014 at 10:22 pm #

    I absolutely did not realize until I joined the fed up with natural childbirth facebook group how crazy TFB really is.

    • MLE
      April 7, 2014 at 11:14 pm #

      Right? She also seems to have absolutely no idea how she comes across. Maybe that’s why she bans constantly, since she cannot fathom why anyone would ever disagree with her in the slightest. It must be utterly exhausting to be her.

      • Amy M
        April 8, 2014 at 6:46 am #

        Why is she even on that page? Isn’t it by invitation?

        • Lombardi
          April 8, 2014 at 10:07 am #

          She claims it is because she and her followers get it as a recommended page from FB. I used to get TFB in my recommend pages section. So it is likely the FB algorithm can’t quite differentiate if your pro woo or anti woo and offers you both. She and her followers were claiming Mary Beth’s photo showed up in their threads. It’s an easy fix. You teach the software by clicking ” I don’t want to see this” and it adjusts the recommendations. But, then she wouldn’t be able to fuel her persecution complex.

          • Karen in SC
            April 8, 2014 at 11:36 am #

            What a bunch of baloney!!! I just looked at my “Suggested Groups” by clicking on two groups where I am a member. There are four very tiny pictures of current members. Under “Recommended Pages ” there is a larger thumbnail, but still small. “People You May Know” shows a larger profile picture.

            I have no idea how anyone could tell from a tiny picture that Mary Beth is deceased. A quick glance at a half-inch square picture – might look like a Baptism photo. Who could be offended? If you are, just look away.

            I have friends who are fervent cloth diaperers, so those pages are recommended to me all the time. Who cares?

          • Lombardi
            April 8, 2014 at 2:49 pm #

            Exactly, you have to be looking to find something “upsetting”. The whole thing is a pretext to fuel Internet rage.

          • Mishimoo
            April 8, 2014 at 6:20 pm #

            I keep ending up with a closed group for anti-vaxxers in my recommendations. Yay, 400+ disease vectors! *sigh*

          • Young CC Prof
            April 8, 2014 at 6:33 pm #

            I always say the worst problem with Google is that it doesn’t do a good enough job of presenting you with alternative viewpoints. Either Facebook’s algorithm was set up to prevent that, or it’s just too dumb to tell the difference.

  8. Deena Chamlee
    April 7, 2014 at 10:00 pm #

    How death of innocent neonates OOH and our opposition to such deaths makes us hatemongers, I will never know. I suppose it is others assuming the victim role to alter others reality.
    I do not HATE anyone. Just not in my persona to hate. But I do oppose unethical, uneducated individuals attending births OOH and using Facebook for answers to real issues inherent to birth.
    And I do oppose ACNM’s position. This absolutely is true but I oppose because I care, not because I hate.

  9. anne
    April 7, 2014 at 9:29 pm #

    So Gina Crosley-Corcoran “public health scholar” thinks that a mother who uses a beautiful photo of her child who died from preventable causes is obscene? This makes me want to write her university and ask what the hell they think they are doing by giving this ignorant, angry, and actually dangerous to the public individual their blessing and a larger platform to bully people from.

    • Christina Channell
      April 8, 2014 at 12:53 am #

      I would be glad to see her receive consequences from her school for her antics. What shameful behavior. I’d never give her a degree from my institution.

    • Renee Martin
      April 8, 2014 at 5:14 pm #

      Don’t bother, I think she dropped out already.

      • areawomanpdx
        April 9, 2014 at 1:53 am #

        sadly, she has not. she just had to retake her statistics class and increase her courseload back to full time so she could continue to get financial aid. It will take her longer than normal, but she will probably eventually get the degree, to the detriment to MPH’s everywhere.

  10. Froggggggg
    April 7, 2014 at 8:53 pm #

    I think that horrible, hateful woman (she’s anything but a feminist) is just looking for fights wherever she can get them. Sadly she seems to have no arguments against Dr Amy other than braying about her not being licensed anymore. Boooooooring! 20 years or not – at least Dr Amy was properly trained and licensed in the first place and will always know more about childbirth than all of those fools put together.

  11. Maria
    April 7, 2014 at 7:00 pm #

    OT: There was a thread recently on my birth board where women who had c-sections were commiserating about how they hated it and were so disappointed that they had to have one. I have a lot of sympathy for their disappointment as surgery can be traumatic and I understand their disappointment, but then I stumbled upon a comment by a woman who was horrified that her c-section has destroyed her “birth identity”. What? It seems to me that women who invest so much of their sense of self into how they give birth just set themselves up for either severe disappointment when nature doesn’t get the memo, or they become so militant that they risk becoming like TFB. It makes me sad.

    • April 7, 2014 at 7:17 pm #

      Oh ffs. Birth identity? She can bite every inch of my rosy ass.

    • Bombshellrisa
      April 7, 2014 at 9:51 pm #

      What is a birth identity?

    • Mishimoo
      April 7, 2014 at 10:49 pm #

      Every time I hear/read someone taking about how a caesearean ‘ruined’ their birth experience it makes me wonder how they treat their children.

    • birthbuddy
      April 8, 2014 at 1:42 am #

      How many of them had dead babies?

    • Anj Fabian
      April 8, 2014 at 5:49 am #

      My reaction to “birth identity” is about the same as when I had my first period and my mother said “Now you are a woman!”.

      Me: “This is it? Really?”. I was not impressed.

      • MaineJen
        April 8, 2014 at 10:11 am #

        LOL! Oh no! It’s like “Yeah, welcome to womanhood. Yay. This is disgusting. Lucky me…”

    • LisaL
      April 9, 2014 at 9:47 pm #

      Birth identity? What?
      I can understand being disappointed w/ having a c-sec. I still kind of am, but I also didn’t really care how my baby came in to this world so long as she was healthy (and she was/is).
      I just do not understand why some women put SO much in to a perfect fantasy birth experience.

  12. Amazed
    April 7, 2014 at 6:34 pm #

    Graphic violence? For real?

    Well, there was a violence involved, certainly! Violence against this lovely baby who was absolutely meant to live, and violence against her family who won’t crawl under the rock the Mad Hatter wants to send them under.

    You’re barking under the wrong tree, Gina darling. Look in the mirror and see the image behind this (fake) red hair, as unlikeable as it is.

  13. S
    April 7, 2014 at 4:59 pm #

    Gina is, to put it nicely, not a whole person. It’s obvious from her posts that she lacks any normal sense of empathy. (I’m guessing this is why she has to confide in and get support from the internet, because she can’t make or keep actual friends.) I could understand wanting to look away from Mary Beth’s story because it is just too sad. But only a seriously deficient person would see a photo of a child (a child who can ONLY be remembered in photos and stories) as a personal attack on herself. I am so sorry, Bambi, that you were targeted by those selfish, narrow-minded women.

  14. Guest
    April 7, 2014 at 4:18 pm #

    I find it horrible that someone would report this beautiful picture of Mary Beth as graphic violence. Not all NCBs are hateful, we’re not all like Gina or her followers. As a mother who also lost a child (Although in the hospital, but not due to negligence) it sickens me that someone would prey on loss parents to persuade how and where they choose to birth.

    I have two living children, one hospital born and one born at home. I don’t hate OBs, or anything silly like that. I would never treat a woman as less than a mother or a person for how she chooses to birth, feed her baby or raise them. To each their own.

    I promise you there are decent NCB’ers out there and Dr. Amy, although I don’t share similar views on everything, YOU are NOT a Beetlejuice MD, you are an educated woman who has earned your degree and while we are both very different, I do respect you because it takes a lot of work, dedication and time to get where you are. Keep on doing what you believe in.

    Fuck Gina and these so called Feminists. This isn’t a war and we need to stop hating other parents for the choices they make.

    • Renee Martin
      April 8, 2014 at 5:17 pm #

      There is a HUGE gulf between regular people that make particular choices for themselves, and others that push it on everyone and act like they are morally superior to all that disagree.
      Its always good to hear from the normal ones 🙂

  15. Gretta
    April 7, 2014 at 4:14 pm #

    Listen to how she talks! “sick fuck??? buncha???” The way that someone speaks is a direct reflection of their intelligence. Sorry, but it’s true!
    She talks like an angst ridden high schooler! And a not so smart one at that! No way would I take any advice from her on something so important as the birth of my child. No way.
    If she is the best that the home birthing community has to offer, then that is a sad commentary for them.

    • Squillo
      April 7, 2014 at 9:12 pm #

      You have it all wrong. That’s the “edgy” part of her “feminism.”

      • Anj Fabian
        April 8, 2014 at 5:52 am #

        Yeah! Gina is all “street” and Dr. Amy is all “ivory tower”.
        Except when Gina is all “pubic health scholar” and then Dr. Amy is “not even a doctor anymore”.

        You have to keep track of which avatar Gina is using at the moment. Her latest incarnation is “sassy scooter ridin’ momma”.

        • araikwao
          April 8, 2014 at 6:16 am #

          Freudian slip there, Anj? 😛

          • wookie130
            April 10, 2014 at 8:28 am #

            Haha!!! No need to edit that comment! It’s great!

  16. Lombardi
    April 7, 2014 at 4:13 pm #

    Really, wtf? Don’t want to see that photo don’t want to see “that” group in your thread guess what Facebook has buttons for that called “I don’t want to see this” and “ignore. ” The only reason to report that is to prevent others from seeing it.

  17. Jessica S.
    April 7, 2014 at 3:56 pm #

    Gina Crosley-Corcoran is a class act. That she uses the word “feminist” to describe herself, well… I don’t know a lot about feminism, but it doesn’t seem like her brand of trying to block people into silence fits in with any sort of liberating movement. It seems pretty oppressive to me.

    • Awesomemom
      April 7, 2014 at 4:36 pm #

      This is how I feel about Gina and feminism.

      • Squillo
        April 7, 2014 at 9:14 pm #

        She also has a somewhat idiosyncratic notion of slander and stalking.

  18. ArmyChick
    April 7, 2014 at 3:48 pm #

    Gina is truly a sick person.

  19. April 7, 2014 at 3:45 pm #

    Huge thank you to all of you here and on Fed Up.

    • moto_librarian
      April 7, 2014 at 3:47 pm #

      Stay strong. Mary Beth was beautiful, and we will not allow her to be forgotten.

    • ArmyChick
      April 7, 2014 at 3:48 pm #

      I am sorry this happened to you. It is beyond heartbreaking.

    • Awesomemom
      April 7, 2014 at 4:37 pm #

      You are awesome for putting yourself out there even when people like Gina try and keep you quiet. Mary Beth is a beautiful child that should not have died.

    • stenvenywrites
      April 7, 2014 at 8:05 pm #

      Bambi, your baby girl is beautiful. Just beautiful. Thank you for sharing her picture and her story.

    • Spamamander
      April 7, 2014 at 8:13 pm #

      Thank you for finding the strength to work through your tragedy by trying to keep it from happening to anyone else. The image is heartbreaking but beautiful.

    • Guest
      April 7, 2014 at 9:19 pm #

      Bambi — you are beautiful, she is beautiful. Thank you for being so brave.

    • Ob in OZ
      April 7, 2014 at 10:17 pm #

      Very difficult time. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

  20. Amy Tuteur, MD
    April 7, 2014 at 3:20 pm #

    Just now:

    • Young CC Prof
      April 7, 2014 at 3:23 pm #

      Um. Posting a home birth loss to a group devoted, in part, to exposing the downsides of radical NCB. Not your group. Not your wall.

      Stalking and harassing. I do not think those words mean what you think they mean.

    • LovleAnjel
      April 7, 2014 at 3:28 pm #

      It’s not slander if it’s true.

      • The Computer Ate My Nym
        April 7, 2014 at 3:32 pm #

        I was just about to say the same thing. Also, how is posting a picture on your own private facebook account or group “stalking”? FTB doesn’t have to look at it if it scares her so much.

    • moto_librarian
      April 7, 2014 at 3:37 pm #

      I think that libel is the word she was looking for… Not that I think that this would qualify anyways.

    • April 7, 2014 at 3:44 pm #

      Good grief!!

    • LibrarianSarah
      April 7, 2014 at 3:54 pm #

      I think Gina, likes to project her own shit onto other people. She constantly whines that other “bully” “harass” “stalk” “slander” “censor” or what not her and here she is bullying and censoring Bambi. She should really work that out with a therapist.

    • Jessica S.
      April 7, 2014 at 3:58 pm #

      Hateful agenda of trying to save lives! Oh, the humanity!

    • fiftyfifty1
      April 7, 2014 at 5:49 pm #

      Hold it, posting that picture was slander? And it was slander of midwives and homebirth moms? How can that be? I am no lawyer, so correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t slander a false and defamatory statement? Bambi posted the picture herself. Is Gina saying that Bambi did it in order to defame her own self? And as for it being slander against midwives, that can’t be right either. Doesn’t something have to be UNTRUE for it to be slander? Mary Beth really did die at homebirth under the care of a midwife. That’s an established fact.
      I thought Gina was planning on being a lawyer. Sheesh.

      • Burgundy
        April 7, 2014 at 7:22 pm #

        You can plan all you want to be a lawyer, but doesn’t mean you can plan to be a good lawyer. A good lawyer needs good sense of empathy and good reasoning skills, she has neither.

      • Squillo
        April 7, 2014 at 9:09 pm #

        She’s already amply demonstrated her mad legal scholar skillz.

      • anne
        April 7, 2014 at 9:32 pm #

        It’s the lovely result of her “lolyer” degree breeding with her “public health scholar” future degree.

    • melindasue22
      April 7, 2014 at 8:19 pm #

      Hmm using a loss to promote a cause in order to save lives and prevent suffering. People don’t do that. I mean MADD and all the other organizations that have grown out of other’s tragedies and loss they were just trying to bully drunk drivers and such. I just think she really needs help and I don’t mean that in a snarky way. If someone else said what she said it would be oh so wrong. Call me crazy but somewhere in her is a smart person that is lost in her own madness. I hope she can work it out.

    • Guest
      April 7, 2014 at 9:20 pm #

      If it is a photograph of graphic violence, my question is … who committed the violence against that child?

      • Renee Martin
        April 8, 2014 at 5:19 pm #

        She is a serial murderer, and has killed 8 babies thus far.

    • Renee Martin
      April 8, 2014 at 5:19 pm #

      What is wrong with posting her pics to describe KILLER MW and DEATHS from HB? It is a valid use of this pic, as well as posting in remembrance. Plus, these HB loss babies DO help save others lives.

      Gina- Its not slander if its TRUE.

    • Somesense
      August 4, 2014 at 12:00 pm #

      How can we not “use” baby loss to further our agenda when our very agenda is preventing baby loss?

  21. Amy Tuteur, MD
    April 7, 2014 at 3:14 pm #

    Just now:

  22. anh
    April 7, 2014 at 2:35 pm #

    Bambi, your daughter was so beautiful. I am so sorry for her loss.
    Gina should go fuck herself. I’ve never known anyone less feminist than she is

  23. Afshin
    April 7, 2014 at 2:20 pm #

    Gina write such crass, immature blurbs

  24. Mac Sherbert
    April 7, 2014 at 2:19 pm #

    I’ll admit I do find the picture disturbing. It disturbs me that such a beautiful baby died needlessly. I feels me with a sense of loss and makes me hold my daughter that much closer. To report it as being violent is simply childish and vindictive. Then again it does “depict harm to someone”…the harm caused to an innocent baby by a reckless midwife.

  25. Lisa the Raptor
    April 7, 2014 at 2:13 pm #

    If pictures of dead babies bother you why don’t you get off your ass and figure out why it is that in a country with a 4 per 1000 deaths so many babies are dying at home birth. Someone offered Gina the chance to work with the mana stats. I’d like for Gina to do that. Take a math or stats student with you. Maybe, just maybe you’ll see them for what they are.

  26. Dr Kitty
    April 7, 2014 at 1:50 pm #

    Mary Beth was a beautiful, loved little girl who shouldn’t have died.
    And that is a tasteful, sweet photo.

    The person who reported it needs to re-calibrate their offense-ometer.

  27. Paloma
    April 7, 2014 at 1:24 pm #

    I’m so sorry for this poor family. It is tragic that even one child dies because they were not properly attended. It just never ceases to amaze me how these people try to make money off risking lives that way. I doubt they have ever heard what ethics even means, something I was taught all through medical school.
    On another completely different topic, this weekend it finally happened. I posted when I first started reading this blog that I had never even heard of homebirth in Spain. I really hoped it would never ever happen here. It did. I was talking to a friend and she told me about a woman from her church who was planning on a homebirth. She is still trying to talk her out of it. I’m so disappointed that it finally reached my country. I’m starting in May as an OB/GYN resident, and it is just so sad that some day I might have to deal with all of this cult. I truly hope I don’t get one case, because that means it won’t be happening and babies won’t be dying because of it.

    • Karen in SC
      April 7, 2014 at 1:31 pm #

      Congratulations on beginning your residency. Please keep us updated. I’m curious about the protocols in other countries.

      • Paloma
        April 7, 2014 at 2:05 pm #

        Thanks! From what I read they are pretty similar. I guess I will find out soon for sure 🙂

    • Dr Kitty
      April 7, 2014 at 1:47 pm #

      I think at one point you were thinking about the UK?
      Glad you got the points for the residency you wanted in Spain.

      • Paloma
        April 7, 2014 at 2:04 pm #

        Yes!! I did think about the UK, but none of the F2 spots available really convinced me. I did pretty well with the exam in Spain and hopefully I will be able to choose the hospital that I want, but I’m picking OB/GYN for sure. Thanks for all the info you gave, it really helped me decide 🙂

    • Montserrat Blanco
      April 7, 2014 at 3:08 pm #

      Congratulations on your new position!

      You should probably know about this one since you were already in medical school:

      Get a glance at El parto es nuestro and Crianza natural forum. There are a lot of people getting homebirths in Spain.

      I do not work in OB but it is pretty common in Spain right now to try to get “natural” treatments. You will find out in real life pretty soon.

      I wish you the best on your professional career

      • Paloma
        April 7, 2014 at 4:18 pm #

        Thanks! I didn’t see that one, but I did see a similar one in a local paper a while ago. However, I’d never heard of anyone staying home, not even during my rotation in OB. Too good to be true, I guess 🙁

      • Paloma
        April 7, 2014 at 4:25 pm #

        Acabo de meterme en crianza natural y hay un artículo animando a madres con 3 o más cesáreas a tener un parto vaginal. En serio? EN SERIO? Vivan las roturas uterinas… ALUCINANTE

  28. LibrarianSarah
    April 7, 2014 at 12:43 pm #

    I find this really ironic considering whenever Facebook removes one of her (the topless photo of her daughter and the bacon or boob photo for instance) photos she pitches a huge fit and calls them “sexist” or”perverts.” Hypocrisy thy name is Gina

  29. April 7, 2014 at 12:24 pm #

    But the pictures of blue, limp, waterbirths are just A-OK! Bambi – your baby was beautiful, she was meant to live – and by refusing to bury her twice, she does live on in the memories of those you’ve told your story to, and because of that there might be a few families out there who are doing what you should have been able to do with Mary Beth – enjoying watching their children grow. I am incredibly saddened that what happened to your family was even possible in the first place – thank you for doing what you can to make it less possible for others.

    • April 8, 2014 at 8:09 pm #

      This. Seriously, how many of us “haters” light a candle, say a prayer, send a supportive message, etc for each of these lost innocents? These babies, Mary Beth among them, are real children who WERE meant to live, and are loved/remembered/wept for by us strangers. I can’t even put words to the disgust and contempt I feel for Gina and her ilk, spitting on the graves and calling heartbroken mother’s “nuts” and “Fucked up”

  30. Deena Chamlee
    April 7, 2014 at 12:00 pm #

    Bambi, I am so sorry for your loss. It breaks my heart.

  31. expat
    April 7, 2014 at 11:54 am #

    Gorgeous baby. If I had lost a baby, I would want her remember her in a similar way.

  32. Trulyunbelievable2020
    April 7, 2014 at 11:30 am #

    OT: MDC batshit crazy moment of the day:

    This one comes from the UC (unassisted childbirth forums).

    Mom is pregnant with her third. First one was a rough delivery due to nuchal arms. Following the birth of a healthy, 10 lb. 7. oz., baby, she had what sounds like a very serious hemorrhage:

    “After a few minutes the midwives drained the tub and asked me to push the placenta out, I pushed and there was an explosion of blood..all over the walls and everything. It was very…interesting. I don’t recall if they used traction or not but I bled a lot. I had tachycardia afterwards with my heart rate around 200. Standing up/walking made it to where I could breathe but didn’t feel like I was breathing/oxygenating.”

    Number two was also big: 9 lbs. 13 oz. Once more, she hemorrhaged, “The midwife seemed freaked out by the amount of blood/clots I was losing. She kept asking me to push for the placenta but instead clots kept pouring out. She almost manually removed the clots/placenta but I screamed at her not to so they used a lot of fundal pressure instead. I still bled a lot and suffered some tachycardia/breathing problems but not as bad as with my first.”

    So, naturally, with the third pregnancy, she’s planning on going to the hospital. Haha, of course she isn’t. She’d like to do it on her own. Here’s the advice she gets:

    – The first person to respond is almost halfway reasonable. She cautions agains a UC and recommends considering pitocin. It all goes downhill from there.

    – Second commenter suggests that she “consider cayenne tincture” and that she should try to find a midwife “like Gloria Lemay,” who won’t mind just sitting around in another room: “You stay safe and be nurtured after birth so that you feel like a beloved queen. This is your moment. It’s not a game, it’s your life and without proper emotional support you won’t have the oxytocin you need to keep from bleeding out.”

    Then she adds this brilliant line: “Often women do bleed more heavily than other women as their own version of normal.” You hear that? Heavy bleeding, tachycardia, and difficulty breathing is just “her version of normal.”

    – The next person advises that, “Shepherd’s purse is pretty awesome for PPH.”

    – This is promptly contradicted by yet another poster, who says that, ” I would NOT recommend sheperd’s purse for you, since it causes MORE clotting, and should not be used before the placenta is born.”

    It’s really nothing to worry about, though, because the bleeding was “likely” iatrogenic. In any case, that wasn’t a real hemorrhage: “A true hemorrhage would leave you feeling pretty terrible long term, with slow return to health, whereas if your tachycardia went away within a few hours or over the course of the first day, it was likely related to other factors, fast blood volume loss only being one of them, not necessarily a bad thing if your bleeding was minimal afterwards, if that makes sense.”

    Yes, it makes a lot of sense.

    • Trulyunbelievable2020
      April 7, 2014 at 11:36 am #

      Ah, just noticed that this was a necropost from 2013. Looks like she ended up getting a midwife who gave her pitocin and everything went just fine.

      • Renee Martin
        April 8, 2014 at 5:25 pm #

        That may be true, but how many others read this crap when it was posted, and thought it was a good thing?

    • SNM1
      April 7, 2014 at 2:20 pm #

      Wow… There is just no fixing stupid! Two labors followed by PPH? Hospital it is for you missy! I can’t fathom how some midwives convince themselves that certain things in a women’s medical history are not important when choosing location for birth…

  33. anonymous
    April 7, 2014 at 11:17 am #

    Amazing to me how the HB community turns on their own so fast. It really is cultlike.

  34. MLE
    April 7, 2014 at 11:10 am #

    Attn: Future Home Birth Mothers

    This is what is in store for you from your loving community should things go wrong.

    • DaisyGrrl
      April 7, 2014 at 11:12 am #

      Only if they dare question that their baby “wasn’t meant to live.”
      Future Home Birth Mothers: Term or late premature babies are meant to live. Give them the best chance of doing that by going to the hospital.

      • Talula
        April 7, 2014 at 11:23 am #

        I desperately wanted a vbac after my first, then my water broke unexpectedly at 27 weeks. The only healthy, safe way for my baby to enter the world was via repeat c-section. He is now a healthy happy 5 year old boy. Why? Because a beautiful, nurturing, and incredibly educated hospital NICU provided him with 3 months of care and saved his life. Does it matter I didn’t get a vbac, absolutely not! What matters is I have my child here with me. Perspective. How dare any person suggest these babies were not meant to live.

        • Amy
          April 8, 2014 at 9:23 am #

          Completely agreed! Birth seemed like a big deal when I was pregnant and for the first few months of my kids’ lives, but then they started developing their own personalities, talking, and just being more interesting to parent. Once they’re here, if they’re healthy, who cares how they got here? Shouldn’t we as parents be more focused on what our kids are up to now?

  35. moto_librarian
    April 7, 2014 at 10:54 am #

    I am just so revolted by this! Mary Beth was a beautiful little girl who died because of an incompetent midwife who CONTINUES TO PRACTICE TO THIS DAY! Said midwife has presided over several other deaths (IIRC, SIX), but no one in her “profession” will do a damned thing to stop her. Gina can afford to be smug because she got lucky, and she truly believes that she is smarter than mothers who have bad outcomes. Let me clue you in, Gina – you aren’t! You can do all of the research that you want and still not realize that your midwife is an incompetent fraud until it’s too late. And then you have the gall to mock the stories/photos shared by loss mothers, and to claim that they are “nuts?” But Dr. Amy and those who share her beliefs are the monsters, right? Keep telling yourself that. If you had any moral compass whatsoever you would be outraged by the fact that one of your followers reported this image as “graphic violence.” You disgust me.

    • Siri
      April 7, 2014 at 11:04 am #

      Well said, moto; very well said indeed.

    • Captain Obvious
      April 7, 2014 at 11:10 pm #

      You can also have the best Homebirth attendant in the world, but if they don’t show up, then what are you going to do. Didn’t Gina and Rixa have their Homebirth midwives arrive late?

    • Renee Martin
      April 8, 2014 at 5:26 pm #

      EIGHT death, EIGHT.

  36. Monica
    April 7, 2014 at 10:51 am #

    She is a heartless, hateful, fool! Completely ironic that the thread where she calls Bambi nuts for posting a picture of her daughter was saying that everyone on the Fed Up page is hateful. The most hateful thing anyone can do is exactly what Gina did. We already know how she feels when her pictures are reported. How is what was done to Bambi even remotely defensible? It’s not protecting Bambi and it’s not protecting Mary Beth. About all it’s doing is helping a cause that’s fighting awfully hard to be allowed to continue killing babies. Thankfully Facebook has not removed the picture.

    • attitude devant
      April 7, 2014 at 10:57 am #

      And many other parents have changed their profile pics to the one heading this post. I hope other SOB readers will join in.

  37. Talula
    April 7, 2014 at 10:51 am #

    I am so sorry to Bambi. My heart breaks for you. Gina has shown repeatedly how incredibly sick she is, but this is the lowest form of class any human could muster. Gina, get off your computer, seek help, and take care of your children.

  38. Ellen Mary
    April 7, 2014 at 10:45 am #

    It is ‘Line of Sight’, unless that was a clever pun!
    In any case, Gina banned me a long time ago. I was pretty shocked at the time. It was for suggesting that it was impossible to rule out Pertussis without a swab & that it wasn’t necessarily responsible to be in the hospital attending births without it being ruled out (she had been on & on about an everlasting cough, with Pics).

    I had also suggested that borrowing for graduate school might not be the smartest decision for a family with publicly disclosed financial issues. Banned.

    • Amy Tuteur, MD
      April 7, 2014 at 10:49 am #

      A typo. I fixed it.

  39. April 7, 2014 at 10:40 am #

    “At this point, I view Gina as a bug on the windshield of my life: annoying, occasionally in my line of site, but thoroughly squashed long ago.”

    I may have to steal that line, Dr. Beetlejuice.

    It’s disgusting to see ncb activists abuse ncb victims like this. It takes extraordinary courage to share babyloss pictures even if there isn’t any controversy. To call this beautiful, tragic picture “graphic violence” is obscene. It never ceases to amaze me how low Gina is willing to sink, and that her flunkies flock to heap more pain on a grieving mother. Oh, but you’re the meen meen meanie, right?

    • attitude devant
      April 7, 2014 at 10:56 am #

      Agreed. If I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes, and on multiple occasions, I wouldn’t believe ANY mother was capable of such viciousness to a bereaved parent as I’ve seen NCB types pile on Bambi, Mary Beth’s mother. I don’t know where she finds the strength to keep speaking out, but she remarkable, and I do believe she makes a big difference. I know she has made herself endlessly available to other parents.

      Perhaps it’s simply that she reminds them of the reality that they otherwise successfully ignore.

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