If you give an anti-vaxxer an admonition

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With apologies to Laura Joffe Numeroff.


If you give an anti-vaxxer an admonition (to vaccinate)
She’s going to ask for a reason.

When you tell her it will prevent disease
She’ll insist that disease was disappearing before the advent of the vaccine.

When you show her how many deaths have been prevented
She’ll declare it’s a result of good of nutrition.

Then she’ll point out that her children haven’t been vaccinated and they haven’t gotten sick.


If you tell her that her children haven’t gotten sick because other children are vaccinated
She’ll tell you she couldn’t care less about other people’s children.

When you explain that she should care because herd immunity protects babies and children with cancer
She’ll proclaim that herd immunity doesn’t exist.

When you tell her relying on others to vaccinate makes her unethical
She’ll ask you why you think vaccinated children are vulnerable if the vaccine really works.

Then she’ll post to her friends on her anti-vax message board that she really showed you.


If you make vaccination mandatory for public school education
She’s going to insist her rights are being violated.

When you explain that there is no right to hurt other children
She’ll declare that you are in the pocket of Big Pharma.

When you point out that Big Pharma does not pay you anything
She’ll insist that you’re just a sheeple who believes whatever you are told.

Then she’ll loudly declare that the Nuremberg Code prohibits human experimentation.


Once she’s compared you to the Nazis, she’s lost control completely
And she’ll bombard you with links to Whale.to, LewRockwell.com and Joe Mercola.

You’ll have to point out repeatedly that these are not scientific citations.

Then she’ll declare that she’s spent too much time trying to educate a dolt like you and she’ll flounce from your website.

But she won’t stick the flounce.


When she inevitably returns
It will be to rail against antibiotic resistant microbes.

When you point out that resistance can be overcome with new, more powerful antibiotics
She’ll insist that pathogens will become resistant to the new agents, too.

Then you’ll proudly tout the fact that we can avoid antibiotic resistance altogether
A prospect she will welcome, until …

You tell her we have developed a vaccine against the antibiotic resistant organisms.