Don’t wait! Start your career in quackery today!


Hi, folks! Ima Frawde here!

Congratulations on your decision to embark on a career in quackery! It’s perfect for you! No education required, no investment required, no intelligence required. All you need is the cunning to realize that there is a boatload of money to be made by promoting pseudoscience to gullible lay people.

There are only three things you need to do to launch your career. Get a free website, fill it with nonsensical content, and register for a Paypal account; then watch the money flow in. But wait! Ima Frawde, connoisseur of quackery, has created a step by step guide to content for your website. Just follow these simple steps and you’re ready to go.

Step 1: Inspire fear, because, fear of the unknown is at the heart of all quackery.

We are surrounded by visible and invisible toxins that cause cancer, autism, ADD/ADHD and chronic fatigue syndrome. There are toxins belched into the atmosphere by greedy corporate moguls, toxins in vaccines, even toxins produced by own bodies. That’s why everyone needs to vigilant in refusing anything that isn’t 100% natural, and to constantly detoxify using preparations/supplements/guidebooks you can buy on this website.

Step 2: Invoke a conspiracy.

Any product that is not 100% natural is part of a huge global conspiracy by doctors, Big Pharma, Big Business, or doctors colluding with Big Pharma and Big Business. Every medication is unnecessary, ineffective and TOXIC! With the information on this website, you won’t be manipulated and fooled by these giant conspiracies. The knowledge you glean here will set you free.

Step 3: Flatter the reader.

Why do those people with fancy pants degrees think they know more than you? Sure you never attended college, maybe even dropped out of high school, but we both know that with your incredible native intelligence and the education you get at this website, you’re far more educated much than those stupid doctors, scientists and public health officials.

Step 4: Explain that intuition is far more important than knowledge.

Don’t forget! Your incredible native intelligence is supplemented by your extraordinary intuition. If you feel that a toxin is making you sick, then that’s what’s making you sick. If you feel that my herbal preparations/supplements/guidebooks are making you well, then they are making you well. Pay no attention to your extraordinary weight loss and the pleas of your oncologist. There’s no need for chemotherapy when you have my preparations/supplements/guidebooks!

Step 5: Insist that no one knows more about a disease in his or her body than the person him or herself.

No one knows more about preventing, diagnosing, and treating any disease in your body than YOU do.

Step 6: Aver that you have no other motivation than to share your knowledge with the uninformed.

I’ve learned the secrets to avoiding any and all diseases, and it’s not just proper diet. My herbal preparations/supplements/guidebooks will help you avoid all diseases, too.

Step 7: Explain that Big Pharma and Big Business don’t want anyone to know the information you are about to disclose.

Cancer, autism, ADD/ADHD and chronic fatigue syndrome can be prevented or cured, but Big Pharma and Big Business don’t want you to know what I’m about to share with you. It’s in their interest to pretend that vaccines prevent disease. But if you send $14.95 (plus S&H), I’ll send you a guidebook that will explain that vaccines CAUSE disease. It’s in their interest to pretend that an expensive chemotherapeutic agent is the best treatment for cancer when the truth is that for only $24.95 (plus S&H) my preparations/supplements/guidebooks will cure you faster, with fewer side effects for lower cost.

Step 8: The big finish.

My preparations/supplements/guidebooks can both prevent disease AND cure it! The environment may be filled with toxins spewed by Big Business, but you’re protected. Your body is constantly producing toxins, but I’ll show you how to get rid of them. Big Pharma is hiding the cures for all diseases, but with my preparations/supplements/guidebooks you will outwit their evil efforts.

It doesn’t matter that you have no education in science or statistics; I don’t either. Education is totally over-rated. With my preparations/supplements/guidebooks, you’ll learn something better — how to access your intuition. No one knows your body better than you. No one knows better what it needs to stay healthy and what it needs to recover from illness.

Just send your money today and I’ll send you the secrets of my financial health. Defy the evil medical establishment, thumb your nose at Big Business, learn the information they are hiding from you and cure yourself. At only $24.95 (plus S&H), it’s a steal at twice the price.


This piece first appeared in October 2011.